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Jen is it the book by Jeffrey Foote? I have downloaded a free sample onto my kindle- I am only a few pages in and the book claims that research has shown that far more people recover from addiction through motivational approaches than the older approach of challenging people to admit their faults/ addiction.
This reinforces what I have been saying for years – I find being challenged is just someone else feeding their own ego while doing little to help me ! In actual fact it makes me feel deflated and like I will never stop!

I also like that the book makes the point that labels do more harm than good- as they create a stigma which often stops people seeking help- I have written about this so many times as I have always instinctively known this.

Jen this book is fabulous (what I have read so far ). It is great to read the thoughts I have had about addiction in a package like this and supported by research ! I shouldn’t say it but I always knew I was right ! Lol!
And I know that avoiding the “wrong “ support for me is as important as getting the right support!

Thanks so much for sharing !

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Jen go to all groups , click on view all groups above the schedule- and then choose open group.

 I could drop by, for a short time , to the next one in 33 minutes if u manage to get in !

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I will try get that book on kindle Jen .

I have had a few thoughts about gambling but amazingly no strong urges – I have tried to give up all types of gambling and it really seems to help. Holding onto even one type keeps the dream alive – the false dream !

So not much to report – have had a crazily busy weekend – it will be good to get back to work for a rest ! Lol. I’m feeling really fulfilled in life – and looking forward to a few weeks off for Christmas.

I bought expensive roast beef to cook during the week – my mind is starting to view such purchases as normal – I bought no pork or gammon as I always think of them as gambling dinners – cheap dinners I am forced to make after gambling had taken most of my money lol! Can I believe I associate types of meat with gambling hangovers ? Lol!

That’s another change – usually when I go shopping everything I see reminds me of a slot machine I love— today I only remembered the distasteful side of gambling.

That’s about it – onwards and upwards

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I recognise this one Jen – I wouldnt buy fruit in M andS cos it’s so much dearer (andso much better ) but I could easily buy out their whole fruit stand on what I would gamble that night.

Now I try to buy something small every time I really consider gambling – and I have quite a lot of (cheap) new clothes and have lost that washed out look!

Well done on paying off your car early – my car is absolutely ancient – and I don’t qualify for a car loan due to my credit rating . It is a worry as my car is hardly held together right now .

Ah well I made this mess and I can climb out of it .

Keep strong -and well done on your 30 days xx

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Totally offended Jen haha- yes I often marvel at the wisdom of Vera – and a few others on here . Don’t want to mention too  many names but there is a core group who have been on here a while – and i always wonder where they get their inspiration from? Hope all has been good since the blip Vera – maybe meet you in Group at two – I’m running to buy my dinner first as I am home alone and can’t be bothered cooking ! Talk soon I hope ! Xxx

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Hi Monica
I am sorry if my previous post came across a little offensive regarding your sister and the crackers – I didn’t mean to imply anything – it was intended more to ask if that was how you felt rather than an assumption on my part .

Anyway it is good to hear from you -it is a difficult situation with your sister. I don’t really have any idea as to how you can handle it except to continue with what you have been doing .

I have a “ poor me “ in my life ( long term work mate ) and it has shocked me recently that once she got a little bit of power how comfortable she was in asserting it even if I got trampled on in the process – (again I’m not comparing to your sister in any way ) – it was another life lesson for me!

It is a huge testament Monica to you as a daughter that your mum chose you to have this discussion with and to trust with such a huge matter. It must have been a very difficult conversation for you. Your mum views you as a very trustworthy person and who knows us better than our mothers? Although to be honest reading about it has made me feel a little sad -death is too final – I sometimes just want to forget it exists .

Your son also respects you highly Monica – he has taken on board your concerns and your advice.
It reminds me that some times we forget how much we actually have got right in our lives – gambling may have created a financial mess for us but you certainly have got the important things right .

Hope you feel a little better
Xx

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Mike
It is horrible but you stayed gamble free longer Than other weeks and that is progress. You have shown yourself you can do it.
You have learned that you need to plan your Saturday nights .
Progress not perfection – you are learning and changing and you will get there.

You will get there – for now maybe aim to hold onto the money you have left and then make definite plans for your next payday . For example – go buy yourself something new to wear so you feel good.

I’m really sorry you gambled – but keep working at it mike .

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Well done Lizbeth – you showed real strength staying home and you sound so happy with your decision !
Yes they will suffer the consequences and you can do nothing about that – but you have made the right decision for you!well done – hope you enjoy the movie !

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Yes Jen that’s exactly how it goes – we promise ourselves than a twenty won’t matter and hours later we are in tears .

I almost bought two £5 scratch cards myself – I was going to put them into Christmas cards – but I knew that really I was buying them for me – while still in the queue I managed to rationalise it and didn’t .

Four days until payday.
I will manage most of the Christmas shopping out of November’s pay despite having a few fairly big bills.
There will be little left though and January will be such a long month .

I find myself wondering where I got money to gamble – I don’t seem that much better off- of course my saving are untouched this month – my tiny savings – I guess that’s something . I also have started paying off another visa which has eaten into my money .i find myself wondering hwo I could have been so stupid in the past when my brain is so clear now . I feel God really is helping me this time – I try to read a little from the bible and find time for prayer each day.

Went to a party last night – it was nice to be able to give a decent present for once . I was also able to make a decent donation to a charity yesterday. I guess that’s good.
I bought raffle tickets at the charitable event – I didn’t know how not to without looking mean or strange – I put other people’s names on the tickets so I can’t win but it still doesn’t feel right . I know others have ways around this – I found it hard to say no .i keep thinking about the draw and wondering if they will win .

That’s about it- gonna try get back to sleep ! Partying always interferes with my sleep .

Onwards and upwards

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Hi Vera
Sorry to hear about this .
Yes I’m worrying this cushion is going to deflate and then there will be no soft landing.
Perhaps GA will help again ?
Go back to everything you were doing before – just systematically add everything back in.
You deserve better than this – you know you do .
P used to talk about flicking the switch- can You flick it Vera .

I think coming up to Christmas and having an absent child would be a huge trigger for any mother . Could this be it ? Could counselling help?
Vera please take action to stop the bleed – and I mean this in the best possible way .
Xx

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Hi Rod

I believe you found this site tonight because it is your time to give up gambling – you have taken real steps to control it . Getting your friend to help us going to be a tremdous help.

I think it might help you to write down all the things gambling gives you versus all the things it’s takes from you
. Then keep the list on you and read it each time you are tempted to gamble . It will help to change your mindset and serve as a sharp reminder of what gambling really does to those of us who are addicted .

You can have that great life – and it starts right here and now .
Post every day and I wil praying for the success do your recovery
Keep strong xx

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Thanks Jen- six days until payday!

I had thoughts of going to bingo about an hour ago but I have dealt with them- I decided I could buy a gorgeous sparkly duvet set instead (the type I normally begrudge myself ) and probably still have a lot of change left over .

My thought patterns have changed so quickly – it makes me wonder why I couldn’t think like this in the past . Still I’m glad to be here today making the right decisions.

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Hi kin – hope you are doing ok- I too am finding my weight is ballooning right now – and am trying to cut back- it’s so hard !
Keep strong Kin

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Hi lizbeth ,
Maybe you could go ahead and book a table somewhere that’s not a casino- coincidentally my mum and sister always seem to be a factor in my relapses – not any more .

You have your road trip and I have my home update , and we will focus on those things – not a few hours “fun” and weeks/months of pain . You deserve a good month on your birthday – not just a good few hours .

Happy birthday and it will be so much better gamble free

Xx

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Yes Mike stay in bed and look after that cold- you know the pattern – a few hours fun, times we feel great because we are up so much but ultimately misery that lasts until next payday as we can never resist losing it all again .

Don’t do it- put the money out of reach !

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