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Hi Henno
How have things been ?
Hope all is good with you

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Hi Laura
Hope all is ok and that you are all ready for Christmas .xx

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Vera u are such a genius – i will buy my husband a sewing machine , a saw thing and a glue gun for Christmas haha. … and I can borrow when needed !

I am also laughing at the comment about no pockets in a shroud – my “healthy “ bank balance probably wouldn’t even pay for a shroud ! Today I was able to get some nice things for the homeless – it is in giving we receive – I felt good that I could make this small gesture . Although I guess writing about it negates any heavenly bonus ! ( mmm my language is still very much online casino type language ).

I hope you get that £12 back – the banks are just like casinos – ready to bleed every last cent out of us .

A few urges today – especially for lottery .
I’m not going to do it – although I Keep thinking how far a little win could go (yes I know how stupid that sounds !).

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Very good point Vera – I would have to put so much effort into gambling now to even access it – and yet I moan about the effort I put into not gambling.

Still feeling horrible with this cold but managing to keep going.

Life is pretty good – the bank looks ok. ( a lot of people would be horrified to have so little after working for so many years ).
I am realising that my outlook on life is quite dependent on my bank balance – not that I want to spend loads – but I have a need for that security .

I am hoping I can get through January without dipping into my savings – thats my next target .
I also want to buy some tools –

I love watching interior design programmes and I am going to treat myself over the coming months to a sewing machine , an electric saw thing and a glue gun! Perhaps even in the January sales . It is only weeks ago a ton of paint seemed out of reach !

Life is good – I am happy !

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Another gamble free day over – I that makes it nearly three weeks although I never really can keep track.
I know I once got to eight months – that was my best but I think that could have been five years ago – earlier this year I got to five or six months – I know I relapsed in the summer but no idea when . I simply lose track of the days / months / years when I gamble.

Today I won’t lose track because I am gamble free . I know I have not gambled since payday at the end of November .

I hope I am here next November’ posting that I am still gamble free – tonight however I checked on my emails , which I Rarely do, and there were offers for casinos – almost immediately my brain started planning – I should have pushed those thoughts away immediately – luckily even if I wanted to gamble online now it would take a huge amount of effort to get around the many barriers I have put in place – but I know I still could gamble if I was determined enough.

I didn’t gamble and for that I am glad- I need to keep doing what I am doing – which is posting as often as I need to , exploring my own issues in my own way – however silly they may seem to others .

I have realised that there really is just me in this recovery – others may encourage , advise and sometimes just listen – but recovery is down to each of us and what is inside of us .
No matter how much support we have – recovery is won or lost inside of us .

Life may distract us from recovery – and that’s when gambling sneaks in – sometimes we need to be as strong for ourselves as we are for others .

Onwards and upwards !

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Hi Jen
Hope things have improved since yesterday’s post !

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Hi Tan
Yes limbo is not a nice place – uncertainly is very difficult – have you thought about calling your old employer or some
Contacts from your old work to see if they even have temporary or project work? Every little helps .

I help you get some work soon- it will be good to know here is a wage coming in.
Keep posting and keep strong Tan.

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I am in work and my flu remedies seem to be working – a bit of a sore throat but not too bad – hate taking days off which I guess makes me a little sad and controlling lol.

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So I feel a bit horrible but think I can manage work-
Going to start my slightly crazy flu routine – starts with Epsom’s Salt bath , then drink tumeric milk, then salt water gargle , then nasal spray , then paracetamol if needed, then nice throat sweets – should get me through the day and then take it easy at work and straight to bed when I get home !

The joys of winter flu – but a lot more joyful without a gambling hangover to go with it !

Onwards and upwards!

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Hi Tan

I am so sorry you find yourself in this situation .
Can I ask if you have any way of suing the brokers ? Did they mislead you in any way ?

Once you brain clears a little you may be able to see other ways out of this ? Perhaps subletting part of your house or setting yourself up as a consultant in your field ?

For now continue to make it impossible for yourself to gamble in this way . God has a way of making miracles happen when we least expect them.

Perhaps you could join a local GA? Or attend groups on this site and chat to others who have made similar mistakes .

Tan you are not alone with this – many have made as big and bigger mistakes .

Well done on seeking help .
I’m sorry I can’t be of more help but just know people are here and listening .

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Jen I get what you mean – often when I felt I had discovered the “cure” I guess I was as insistent. When we get a little gamble free time behind us it’s easy to think we know what will work for everyone .

A lot of the advice is useful – sometimes it’s the way it is delivered that is off- putting .

Anyway we are gamble for today and that is good – It feels like I am getting flu – I feel quite horrible – I was doing really well with my flu preventative measures but I stopped about three weeks ago – kicking myself now !

That’s about it – life is pretty good – a little more money wud be good but I’m ok
Onwards and upwards

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Hi Jen thanks for your posts on my thread . I think GA groups differ so much – and so many have started from the original AA format that one groups might work for us whole the one on the next street mat not .

It is great to have another gamble free day – I am having my usually daily thoughts about bingo!

It was lovely to chat to you last night
Xx

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Hi Vera – thinking of you xx

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Hi Jen ,
I would advise anyone to download the kindle app and read a trial of this book I stumbled upon then .
It states that are so many methods of recovery and not one size fits all. For those of us who cannot follow the rigid rules set down by others ( if we would we would have all been in recovery years ago) it gives hope and also lets us know we are doing ok!

It really is everything which those of us who have struggled for years have already discovered through our own personal journey , but it is grounded in research and evidence .

A great , uplifting and motivating read ,

Three days until pay day – no idea when I gambled last – but know it was before last pay day (November 30).

Feeling happy and blessed
Onwards and upwards

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There’s a group now – try to get in ?

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