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Hi Laura
I’m in group now if u are still around ?

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Hi Vera
How are things ?
Xx

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It is still 40 days until payday – I got the maths wrong., never can keep track . Still feeling horrible – no urges to gamble which is good .

Earlier this year I had stopped for around six months . I stopped around new year – because I have stopped and started so many times I can’t quite remember but ithink I gambled New Year’s Day and then quit.

The whole six months I had crazy urges- every day was a total battle – I remember being in chat with others and it was obvious that they were finding it easier –

When I relapsed I had a friend on the verge of relapse – I knew my relapse would affect her so I discussed it in support groups but didn’t write it on my thread – she relapsed anyway .

i  felt that I had let the entire community on here down – I felt ashamed to write about it on my thread – but somehow felt safer in groups .

When someone I have gotten close to relapses it somehow makes it ok for me to do so – not that I think this way but I usually follow closely behind – I’m not sure why.

This time feels different – I am not doing bingo and  the lottery (because they are not real gambling and I am not addicted to them) I  usually dabbled now and again. I have stopped all forms of gambling .

I get occasional urges or thoughts about gambling and I take Monica’s advice and I don’t let them settle in my brain.

I have taken on board what Vera has said in that it’s all about mindset and I keep my mind set to gamble-free.

I have llistened to Laura and I imagine her often whizzing around in her hew car and I know that can be me.

I have exchanged posts with Kathryn and I think of her attending concerts and having the greatest trips and I know that can be me.

Charles and his swimming with the sharks? I will leave that to him but perhaps I will visit Rome soon.

My point is that I am inspired by the success of so many prople on here – and even if they have had minor relapses they make sure theey get straight back to what has worked for them .

Harry said to me many years ago that a small fall on the journey does not have to become a full relapse – and while I don’t intend to have either – this is so true – letting the loss go is a huge part of recovery .

I have learned a lot from so many people who have encouraged and supported me – who have picked me up when I have fallen and cheered me on when I have made progress.

Life is good and I know it’s going to be even better in the new year !

Onwards and upwards.

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Hi Tan ,
You sound full of hope .
I am sorry you have had to let your cats go – I have a dog and I know how pets become part of the family and how difficult this must be for you.

Everything will fall into place .

Now the boring bit- is there a way you can gamble again? Do you need to safeguard your money so that you can’t access it?
Why am I asking?
Many of us have felt “cured” when we stop first – then a tiny urge to gamble sneak in. Next thing we are back in action after promising ourself to spend a tiny amount and then stop.

Keep up the momentum with the house – your wife loves you very much and iit sounds like you are a very strong couple-.

Keep posting and stay strong my friend.

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Hi Kin ,
How are things going?

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It feels like I have been ill forever , but reading back I just started to get this cold on Monday . I have so much to do for Christmas and have been crawling from work to bed and back to work all week . It seems everyone in work has this cold so I am blaming them all for infecting me – but I guess I May have infected a few.

It is 40 days until payday- I realise that it is really important for me to post this target as often as I can – it keeps me focused – I find myself wondering will I be posting this forever – will this site still be here when I am ninety ? Will it be still needed or will we be able to gaze into a “forget gambling laser”like the things their use in the film “men in black “? Am I delirious with flu or is my imagination returning ?

Thanks to all who have supported me this past month – it is so helpful to have confirmation at the start – it seems so much easier this time – I guess I have learned from all those relapses.

However , I have realised that recovery comes from within- it is changing all those old thought patterns – like that gambling a tenner won’t matter , or doing the lottery this once won’t do any harm. It doesn’t matter or do harm to most people- for us it keeps gambling addiction parts of our brains constantly lit up ! I want that flame to be extinguished .

Onwards and upwards -it’s going to be a great Christmas!

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Hi Vera hope.
All is well with you .

Was wondering did you get your money back from the bank?
Xx

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A really lovely prayer Vera

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A really lovely prayer Vera

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Reaching my second gamble free pay means that I don’t have to worry about running out of money in January as I have managed to save a little.

It also means that I didn’t have to wait for my money coming into the bank in the morning to go buy staff presents at a ridiculously early hour – it took the whole stress out of Christmas.

Finally being gamble free has given my hope for the future – instead of planning survival I am planning trips and decorating. It has meant I could be generous to those less fortunate than me and I have smiled a lot more this Christmas spreading the joy .

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Thanks Jen
So I made it to payday – that
Means in haven been gamble free for at least three weeks – I can never remember exactly how long .

I am on my second gamble free pay .

My cold is at the worse before it gets better stage i think – it is definitely worse today but I think I can drag myself to work- today is the last day before the hols. I wish there was a cold vaccine – I have no patience for illness.

My new target I guess is next pay day- it’s 41 days away . I don’t have to worry about running out because I can dip into my tiny savings -that’s the joy of not gambling .

I am looking forward to Christmas – a little money makes such a difference .

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Hi Jen , I guess it is also a stressful time of year and we don’t have our escape activity to distract us .
I hope you feel more settled – this isn’t easy but so worth it!

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Hi Monica
Hope all is well with you .
Yours is a great then and now example of how stopping gambling can change our lives .
Hope to meet you in group soon
Xx

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Just missed you Jen

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Hi Jen
Laura has posted links in the past about gambling addiction and withdrawal – people think it’s only chemical addictions that give us these symptoms – however behavioural addcitions also cause symptoms like those you describe .

I guess in a few days it will pass – in the meantime you are doing amazingly well – and I echo what vera said – well done on getting back here and sharing .
Maybe catch you in group soon xx

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