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Hi Jezi.
It was an anti-gambling vaccination. Maybe it has a gambling preventative serum!
Is it painful ?
When you get home remember to make a little time for yourself every day. You are in withdrawal and like with drug withdrawal , your emotions will,be all over the place for a while. Add the end of holiday blues to that and I am not surprised you are feeling a little “imbalanced”.

This will pass however, and you wil go on to feel better and better.

Look after that sting .

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Hi kin ,
No it is not worth it to gamble .
I like how you compare the two stresses or pressures .
Sometimes the urge to gambling makes it feel like my head is about to explode , but it passes eventually. The aftermath of gambling , the worry and extra pressures it brings last so much longer.

PS you are a normal person – all normal people have their own weaknesses . This just happens to be ours.
Xx

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Hi Sherrie ,
That’s what barriers are for – for when the flesh is weak .
Give yourself massive credit for putting them in place.

I am filled with admiration reading your thread.

I admire how you appreciate all your husband does despite his illness, and how supportive you are of him.
I admire how you are proactive in sorting out those bills – many of us hide our heads in the sand.
I admire how you are juggling all this and still holding down a job.

You are like super woman.
Enjoy the pub- you deserve to let your hair down a little xx

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Hi Nel ,
You made it to nine days.
That is an incredible achievement and great progress. Well done .
So you have had a slip. Most of us have had a slip.Identify what allowed the slip – what barrier wasn’t high enough?

Also try to identify what you were feeling before you made the decision to gamble.

Don’t beat yourself up Nel . Just get straight back on the wagon. You are doing brill . You have gambled once in ten days . How often did you gamble before joining here?
Progress not perfection.
That’s what we all want .
Keep strong my friend . We are all rooting for you .

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Hi Lizbeth ,
I identified a few years ago that feeling out down was a trigger for me. Once I identified it , as you have done , I too was able to see that putting others down is a deficit in the offender- not in me. Somehow put downs have lost their power over me.

Even on here I used to get annoyed at put downs – when I would write I am doing well or I have not gambled, there always seemed to be someone who had to put a “but” in.

…but you said that before
…but what can you do to stay this way
…but you know what will happen on pay day
…but you are still a cg ( or some equally offensive label).

Now I just let them keep their buts and their comments .

You have built your own family unit . Despite the problems that all families encounter from time to time, you have built a strong little family. You work together and support each other.
You have got the really important things right !
I can see why others would be jealous and feel they had to burst your bubble .

You don’t have to rise above it – you are already soaring xx

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Hi Jezi, Much of your post resonates with me. I think sometimes when we are being strong for others we are being self sacrificing. Most of us when we dream of the big win, only think of what we can do for others with it. We rarely think we will get a big car – we are more likely to think we will surprise someone else with a new car.

I think part of recovery is putting ourselves first- this is not selfish- this is necessity as we have learned that our self sacrificing hasn’t worked for us . This may be taking the time to embrace our creative side.

It occurs to me that the things I loved to do as a child are still the things I dream about in my head – the creative things you talk about.

How about if every day we do one thing for ourselves which we wouldn’t normally do? We do it regardless of who has demands on our time or money? Perhaps that’s your time in nature or an hour you carve out to embrace your creative side.

I think this is important because it retrains our brains to value ourselves – which is a huge part of our recovery .when we value  ourselves we value our money and what it can do for us .

Jezi, I wish you a beautiful day too.

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Lizbeth ,
This is a horrible situation . Yes this person is indeed incredibly manipulative to convince your daughter to lie to you, to move in with him especially when there is such bad blood.

I feel she is being manipulated rather than deliberately lying – the word “brainwashed” comes to mind .

I hope you are ok, and yes sometimes we do need to find a way to process those strong emotions – I guess we just keep choosing a damaging way.
take care- keep strong and trust in God .
Xx

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Wow Jezi
You have been busy!
I am so glad you confided in your husband and more importantly that he was supportive.
You have your whole wonderful life ahead of you with only one thing you cannot do !

You wrote on my thread that you are thinking of decorating . I really want a silver room so I think that will be my goal. I have a few gold pieces I have to make do with (headboard) for now so I will have to be creative! Have you a colour scheme in mind?
You sound so positive and full of hope and so you should be . Life is going to get better and better.

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thank you Jezi for your post.
So I didn’t get to start tonight – some thing happened that reminded me we never know the hour or the place.
We need to live every moment as if it is our last. We never know when our health will be snatched from us and the those things we try to control will then be controlled by someone else.

We need to let go sometimes.
We need to focus on what is important . Our homes are the most important material thing we have – we should make them as beautiful as we can for the benefit of our family – everything We do should be for the benefit of our loved ones. – and some times that means being good to ourselves so that we can be better versions of ourselves,

No gambling thoughts – well except the lottery . 8 days until payday !

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Hi Lizbeth ,
I’m wondering if your daughter has had a relapse? Whatever she has lied about , we have done the Same ourselves and when we feel awful we just want someone to reassure us it will be ok. Your daughter might need the same reassurance right now. She has come a long way regardless of this latest mistake .

I’m sorry to read you gambled – maybe now would be a good time to do that self -ban?
I just missed you in group last night .

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Thank you everyone for your posts.
I miss our conversations too Monica.
Lizbeth I could see you had been In Chat but you were gone by the time I logged in.
Charles, some times when I have literally a few pounds to survive until payday I still find a way to gamble. I think a feeling of lack rather than plenty is a bigger trigger for me.

However, I also know that almost everything can be a trigger- so my barriers are good enough to stop me from doing any real damage even if I do have a slip, which I don’t intend having .
I still have my daily urges to go to bingo – even if I do give in and go I won’t spend a fortune there – however it opens the floodgates to crazy gambling.

I now have a little money in my own account ( my own stash) . This is something I have never really had and I find it so motivating . I keep checking in on it lol. I feel I can finally make plans and treat myself . Yesterday that was a day and night face cream(cheap ones ), an on sale coat , a not on sale but still cheap enough dress, my supplements which really help me , a lovely woolly cardigan, a lipstick and a blusher.Perhaps that’s where I have went wrong in the past – never feeIing I actually owned anything .
My husband comments on everything I buy for me in a most begrudging way – he always has done – my son who is almost grown up now challenges him for it . I secretly chuckle to myself because my son does it in such a way my husband has no comeback. I never dreamed that in the midst of my miserable excuse for a marriage I could actually raise such a wonderful loving son. I used to feel cheated by only having one child, but recently I feel privileged to have a bond that no person has been able to intrude upon for even a second.

MY coat is my first in years which is not a hand me down, it is also distinctive and bright because I am no longer buying things which will last – I am buying things which as Marie Kondo says will “spark joy”.
I am going to see about decorating my bedroom this weekend- remember my new focus is on me! I reckon I can afford a new curtain set, new duvet cover, and I am going to go crazy with white paint. Maybe I will start tomorrow night …
How many times have I written about decorating ? This time I think I might actually do it! Lol.

Seems I have plenty to say tonight .my mood is on the up – I think it’s due to my supplements , my focus on me and my secret stash! I should have had this years ago but I always tried not to in case it triggered gambling.
In truth it’s as Vera put it- it’s mindset that determines whether or not we act on triggers.

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Hi Nel , if you make it through today you can make it through the tomorrow . Well done.

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Thank you Steev, Laura and Nick.
I can’t find the therapy but there is a film somewhere with the same name which is based in a unique programme in a prison.
Well down Nick on the fundraising .
Laura I hope you feel better soon.

Today I have a new plan.
My plan is to focus on me.
I feel overwhelmed when I think of all I have to do.
So today I am getting new glasses, new face cream, new clothes and maybe a new duvet cover. I haven’t got a lot of money but I would normally think £200 was a cheap night gambling so here I go off to spend that same £200 on me .

Can I afford it? I can’t afford not to spend money on me.
I am getting low, I am lonely, l feel unvalued and unimportant .
Who better to mAke me feel valued than me?

Onwards and upwards.

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Well done Beem.
20 days is a great achievement .
Keep strong my friend!

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happy belated birthday Vera.
That’s really great news .
God seems to have forgotten me when it comes to gifts of extra money !
You could take a nice holiday !

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