[i-did-it]

HI Steev,
Thank you for writing about your finances – it is really helpful when someone explains how they got out of debt. I’m afraid I found the experts pretty useless – I tried STEPCHANGE and they appear to use a computer programme to decide what advice to give rather than treat each person as an individual.

How are your travels going? I am away on a wee holiday myself right now – and making progress with staying gamble free.
Ps i think you have made the right decision- being debt free must feel so good and remember you can end the travels any time you choose to. Its good sometimes to just “live”.
Chat soon!

[i-did-it]

HI Beem,
Congratulations on your gamble free time.
I have joined the SMART site and it seems to helping already. Thank you for sharing how it helped you.
I have only gambled once this week , which was Monday and i only joined on Sunday . This is progress.

I love this bit best ” people are not their behaviours” so no unhelpful labels!

see you soon in chat !

[i-did-it]

HI Beem,
Congratulations on your gamble free time.
I have joined the SMART site and it seems to helping already. Thank you for sharing how it helped you.
I have only gambled once this week , which was Monday and i only joined on Sunday . This is progress.

I love this bit best ” people are not their behaviours” so no unhelpful labels!

see you soon in chat !

[i-did-it]

HI Monica, So sorry to read you have been so unwell. I hope you feel a lot better soon. Dehydration is just horrible and yes we do take so much for granted like clean drinking water .

I am also sorry to read about Pete’s sister. I lost my brother -in -law two months ago and you are so right – as we get older we seem to spend our time saying goodbye to people and grieving their loss.

I have just missed you in group a few times recently – your name is there but you have left.

I’m not a medical expert but I have a friend who has kidney issues and she isn’t allowed take vitamins so perhaps you should check with the doctor. I currently am taking a quarter Berocca a day – I always feel it’s the best for instant energy!

Take care Monica and look after yourself .xx

[i-did-it]

Thanks Steev

I used to spend hours on this forum , trying to post as many as I could – to encourage and let people know they are not alone .

However, I now realise we are alone – this is a lone fight.
It is only me that can bring about change in my life

… advice from others , consolation when I falter, empathy when I am in pain , impatience and criticism at my never ending cycle of self destruction, patience with my latest doomed solution, bible quoted and mis-quoted to guide me etc…

I have found all these on the forums and in the groups – and at different times they have all served a temporary purpose and I have been glad of them.

However , I think the very best thing I have learned ( thanks Beem for pointing me towards SMART recovery) is that I have a choice whether I gamble or not .

IT IS MY CHOICE .

For the past week I have exercised my choice not to gamble except on Monday when I CHOSE to gamble. .
I must live with the consequences of the choices I make .
I am an intelligent adult – I know if I gamble £100 I will miss out on something else – something which I want or need long term or a treat in the immediate future .

This is not rocket science- using the word addict makes it seem as if it is outside my control. It is not .
I am a person who every day has a choice whether to gamble or not gamble , whether to go to work or call in sick, whether to eat healthily or gorge, whether to take exercise or not …
Today I chose not to gamble . It was a difficult choice because I would have loved to escape for a few hours.
But today I made a good choice !

[i-did-it]

Thank you Nick, Monica , Kathryn and Steev for your posts.
I have not felt like posting much but I also am having difficulty accessing the journal part of the site.

I realise that when gambling is gone I have very little in my life – no hobbies, lost touch with friends, no money , little interest in anything and zero motivation to even leave the house .

What a bundle of laughs I am!

[i-did-it]

Well done Nick
40 days is pretty amazing .
I wrote on my thread about how we can change most things in life – we just need to ask ourselves what it is that we want and go for it . Look at where you are now – well done !

I hope you dine on steak and caviar this week – I’m afraid it will be a £3 bag of sausages for me as I gambled at the start of the month and am feeling the pain now .

Can I ask have you stopped for long periods in the past ? I think 8 months was my longest .

Keep strong Nick .

[i-did-it]

Thank Bonnie and Charles
The effects of my recent head injury have improved considerably in the past week. I can now do almost everything I couldn’t when my head was fuzzy .

I feel a bitterness creeping in – bitterness over lost opportunities, stupid choices , others’ success, my gone to pot body , my disgraceful home and just about everything else.
Yet there is not one of these things I cannot change – it just takes some motivation and action – both of which I seem to have trouble finding .

A few of my old internet devices have been destroyed this week – I now only have my phone which has been restricted .
No opportunity to gamble.

My work is strange – I have always worked hard , been a “yes” person and genuinely done my best.
Recently I find that too much is being asked and recently I find I am saying no- recently I find my work life balance has improved even though some people are peeved. It is what it is.

[i-did-it]

Thank you Nick and IRock ,
I have passed the two week mark- it’s been quite a while since I got this far.
I has attended quite a few support groups and also talked to some people outside the group and I find the urges are worse now.
Perhaps I am one of those people who does better forgetting that gambling exists.

[i-did-it]

A massive well done to you Nick. Gambling will only provide escape for a short while and then we return to the same issues except a lot poorer and a lot more unhappy.

[i-did-it]

Thank you Jezi, Nick and Steev,
Despite having some anxiety around money I don’t feel tempted to gamble – again it is great to have the freedom. I think maybe I have generalised anxiety right now but I know this is because I don’t have my escape.

Most months I would worry about money but gamble anyway.
I have no idea how i have managed to survive – I guess God must have kept me afloat .

I have enough gamble free days accumulated to start to think in a straighter way. I feel my old motivation coming back. This is reflected in simple ways – fresh cooked chicken for lunches instead of unhealthy packet ham, homemade fish pie instead of frozen convenience food.
I still have thoughts about winning the lottery – it is something which comes up a lot in work. I haven’t followed through with actually buying a ticket but I’m not sure if this is an urge, a thought or a reflection on the conversations I am having.

That’s about it!
Time to go back to sleep .

[i-did-it]

Not so happy today and a little panicky about money .

I seem to have had a lot of large expenses this month (car trouble) coupled with a payday binge at the end of last month.

However I am also looking forward to next payday and knowing it will be the start of an improved financial situation.

Today I am wondering how I could have thrown so much away – not really regret but more astonishment at my stupidity.

People say it’s not stupidity it’s addiction- but I thought I wAs too wise too be brain washed.

I guess I this is where accepting what I cannot change is important .

Looking forward to a frugal few weeks – roll on payday -18 days to survive

[i-did-it]

Hi IRock,

We all feel really special when we gamble and win- like we have some special quality above others which make us good at gambling.

You have written you are not special but I would say indeed you are.-we all are- except we do not have a special power when it comes to gambling .

Any insight we had into picking the right bet , what ever our choice of gambling , is soon cancelled once we cross that line into addiction as huge wins no longer get cashed out and just become the fuel to keep us in action longer .

I hope you do find that desire to stop- many people say you need to reach rock bottom to find out but I think we just need to value ourselves and our peace of mind enough.

Keep posting and I hope you have a great week.

[i-did-it]

Well done Murr,
72 days is a great achievement and i know you found it really difficult at times. You have made a lot of good decisions .
Onwards and upwards

[i-did-it]

Hi jester,
An hour in the bus with peace of mind while you contemplate the future sounds far superior to 20 minutes on a motorbike worrying frantically over money, feeling shame about debts and mentally adding and subtracting so you can survive the month.
You have shown great bravery in confiding in your friend and have made some really great decisions which will ensure your recovery from this trap.

Well done and I look forward to reading of your continued success.

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