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Thanks Jen and Monica for your posts .
Monica, annual leave would be ideal but unfortunately I have to take my hols during set times so that’s not a possibility . This has held me back from applying for a number of years .

That’s the past – I am looking forward to the future .
Onwards and upwards

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Austin,
What a great post !
Can you believe that just 75 days on you are going on holiday.
I think spending the money on family is a great decision .
Keep strong

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Hi Jen
Thank you for your reply.
There is less spinning today !
I think knowing that I cannot gamble has reduced the urges.
The casino emailed to say they put a tenner into my account- this usually turns into several hundred pounds of deposits.

I self excused from this casino a number of times . I clicked on the reason (gambling problem) and it would appear that these accounts are reopened almost immediately . I have also emailed them to self ban.
This casino is not licensed in the U.K. so gambling commission won’t have much say.

I know I am dealing with completely rruthless crooks and yet I kept depositing . Who chooses to throw away money like that ?

Anyway I am onto day two (about an hour into it !) and already I am motivated to do some housework.

I am worrying about what to tell work when I need the time off to attend the residential . I can’t just ring in sick as there is substantial travel involved and I could be spotted !

That’s about it – back to the clean up

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Thank you Jen.
It is almost 1am. I am in a bad routine of staying up all night watching tv/gambling and sleeping during the day. Tonight the usual urges came and of course I tried to gamble.
My new Betfilter held up and the urge passed.

It has given me there breathing space to realise here is a pattern – late at night I get urges – so perhaps I need to go to bed earlier .
Recently I have been wakening in the late morning and gambling my casino “cashback” until it runs out , which sometimes can take hours .
My life is passing me by watching wheels spin.

When I try to sleep I still see them spin. When I relax I see them spin.
That’s my life – little teddy bears spinning on a reel and I so want to watch them spin right now .

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Hi Jen
Yes this is difficult. I usually gamble online so cash is actually safer for me . I have been trying to think how we can have money on us for those little emergencies and of course treats And not be tempted . And I have drawn a blank .
Perhaps others ladies who’ have managed this could advise .

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Hi 60!
Well done on reaching out to family .
Perhaps one of them could hold all your bank cards and details and only give you enough cash to live on.

It is so hard to break this addiction but people do it all the time. There is a new members group on here tonight – if you log into that you will get lots of ideas on how to stop.

You have taken the first and very difficult step – asking for help isn’t easy .

Keep strong 60- u can beat this .

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Hi Jen
Just keep going – everyday the urges get weaker and everyday we get a little richer (or at least our debt doesn’t get worse .
I cannot believe that I am back to avoiding phone calls.

Keep strong

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Hi TE.
Gambling takes people from our lives – we can rarely afford to go to a get together after work or for a meal to catch up with friends and eventually they think we are uninterested.

Well done on starting a journal and indeed your journey to freedom from gambling

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Today I put belfilter on my phone .
It seems to have improved from when I used it a year ago because I can now access this site. K9 is no longer available to download.

The placebo effect didn’t last long – I gambled last night .
Vera made a great statement when she said having a smart phone is like having a loaded gun in your pocket.

I will be going to the residential programme in September . It’s so stupid but I keep hoping that I will win the lottery before then. Some part of my mind doesn’t want me to stop gambling .
I have wasted another summer and a stupid amount of money and am feeling disappointed with myself.
I also am feeling pleased that I actually put this app on my phone . It’s cost about £100 a year but not having it costs about £15000 in that same year
That’s about it – onwards and upwards

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thank you Kin and Jen.
I agree Jen – I think we should make this ournumber one priority – ahead of everything and everyone else in our lives -once we are on top of this addiction, we will do better in everything else.
The urges have subsided for me – the thoughts are still there but I am getting a rare break from “crazy”.
Keep strong – u are on day 3!

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Hi Kin
Thank you for your post on my thread – replies are scarce nowadays
You are doing really well and I can see you are addressing other issues as well as gambling. Keep strong Kin and thank you for thinking of me .

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Hi Jen
What do u know I have completed day one !
We are on track.
I think Kin means one day at a time which I find too demotivating – it kinda makes me think I can do day one anytime! What’s the difference between today and tomorrow being day one ?
So like you the days building up do ***** for me.
Keep going and do whatever works for you!

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Thank you Charles
Tonight the prospect of residential seems to be having a placebo effect – I am having a night with much reduced and manageable urges . It’s good !

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Hi Jen – yes I’m one of the “ten year-ers”.
I have just got a place for a short residential – is that something you would or could consider?
Your post above describes exactly where I’m at .

We can both do this !

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Thank you Meghna for your post on my thread .
So glad to read life is on track for you and that you are enjoying your little baby.
Xx

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