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Great update Taz – so delighted to hear it.
I have managed to get a bit of gamble free time also. (Just counted – 66 days).
Keep strong and enjoy your gamble free life .

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Where did she go ?

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Thank you Kin.

I am just started my third month gamble free. I recognise that this addiction is difficult to beat but I am having a huge amount of support – and I need every bit of it! I am extremely grateful that such a huge amount of resources are being invested in me. I don’t deserve this any more than anyone else but I have at last realised that I don’t deserve it any less.

Today I can go and buy nice food, I can plan things and they will happen but best of all I can hold my head high. I have booked a “girlie” trip which is a full year away and I know lack of money won’t stop it from happening.

Last weekend I bought myself a new coat – I have no idea how long it has been since I felt really warm in the winter! It’s cheap but cheerful and I cannot believe I deprived myself of such a simple comfort for so long. I also have boots this winter which are both comfortable and keep my feet dry.

How did I let this happen ? I have no idea but I love rediscovering those small pleasures in life..

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Hi Sherrie
I over indulged a little myself last night but am just about able to keep going – I hate this feeling but I guess it’s ok once in a while.
You are a very hardworking person who takes pride in each job you do no matter what it is – that makes you the perfect employee ! You are always generous to others in work with your time and your knowledge – I am sitting here wishing I worked with you !
Life seems to be going really well for you and you deserve it.

I think everyone should have a counsellor every week! I think once we reach an age (or have addiction) there is no one to say well done – you made a good choice -like our mummies did when we were little- but we still need to hear it.

GA I didn’t like either Sherrie but yes some of their stuff is good but most of it I find really annoying when it is quoted “at” me!

Keep strong Sherrie – you are doing so well
Xx

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Thank you Berta.
I have just arrived home from a family night out.
I decided quite impulsively to treat us to a meal In a local restaurant to celebrate that today I am two months gamble free. We are such a happy little family tonight with our belly’s full and no wash up to argue about ! This type of impulsive action I like .

Berta you rightly say there are times when our minds trick us into fondly remembering our time at the casino. Despite all the heartache and pain, I fondly remember casino nights out with my sister and mum – i haven’t tested that I can resist but now even as I plan my Christmas visit I get that warm feeling that the casino always gave me when I first stepped into it’s plush carpet.

I have learned however that I cannot test – I have learned that planning a visit home means planning a trip where gambling is made impossible. I have learned in the hardest most painful way, but I have learned that I need to plan in advance .

I know I cannot give up this feeling of liking myself and knowing there’s is a little money in the bank. No gamble or no win is worth more than my happiness !

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Aw Steev , sounds like its not the best time to be home .take care of yourself .

Remember fasting on Sunday that means u can eat extra next few days and have a huge feed on Saturday .

Hope it all goes well .

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Hi Chloe ,
I think my spouse was in denial for many years and even once he learned about my addiction he somehow didn’t have the skills to give me the support I needed.

Somethings you could do to keep you away from online poker are:
1. Join Gamstop- this will mean you cannot go onto any U.K. online casinos for five years
2. Get a gambling blocker on your phone – I have Gamban on mine so that even if the mind is weak I cannot gamble on my phone. This would need to be on all your internet devices .
3. Get support – I’m not sure where you live but there are lots of free support groups and counselling available.
4. Another thing which helped me is that I scratched the last three numbers off the back of my bank card so I cannot use it at all online but I can still use it in shops and at the bank machine .
5. Avoid all types of gambling and it eventually kinda leaves your head – I don’t do lottery, work raffles, charity raffles or even online games where I might get a similar buzz.

These are things that have worked for me – I am at last enjoying some freedom from this horrible addiction. I hope you find my reply helpful .

Keep strong Chloe – people do become free of this addiction .

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Monica
There is little point in being in recovery if we can’t enjoy it – I love to hear you bought nice clothes – I have bought a new long dressy top this week and a new coat – they are cheapies but so much nicer than washed out clothes .

I can’t yet manage (financiallY) massages and facials although I have found myself googling weekend retreats!
I hope he medicine works and you feel much better – flus seem to have got a lot worse in recent years but maybe that just me getting older . Take care xx

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Hi Beem, it sounds like you have put a lot of things in place to help you moderate your gambling and that is a very good move .
I know many programs advocate moderation as well as abstinence, and I have no data to argue for or against it.
For me, it has to be complete abstinence because even when I managed to moderate a little my mind was never at rest – I don’t think I could give up this new peace of mind.

Continue doing what works for you Beem.
It may be that you do decide to abstain again – whatever you decide should be what works for you – not just financially, but also mentally .
Take care Beem and keep strong !

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Very insightful post Steev – I could relate to every point . Thank you for sharing xx

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Hi Bettie ,
You have a lot of difficult things happening in your life right now and it occurs to me that you a “carrying” many people , but can I ask “ who is carrying Bettie?

I think it might be helpful for you to talk with the online counsellors on here or on gamcare . It really helps me to talk when life feels overwhelming – I guess the alternative for me to facing stuff and talking about it is to block it out or escape it by gambling.

You are having a gamble free day so well done – it’s so hard to stop so give yourself some real credit . You are an amazing person Bettie – juggling so many really worrying problems – but you are here and you are working towards getting yourself back on track- and that’s absolutely amazing.

Keep strong Bettie – reach out and get the help you need.
There are often people in the open groups and I’m sure they also would benefit from your experience with this horrible addiction. Xx

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Thank you Monica for your post .

I am noticing now have I have not been gambling for almost two months the ads are getting less frequent, kinda like the urges in my brain lol.

I know it will take time to get my finances sorted (and my home ) but I am also realising that if I have lived in this mess for a decade, I can live with it for a little longer until I am financially secure. I need an emergency fund and can’t face having to struggle for another month when unexpected expenses arise . Life doesn’t have to head hard as I have made it . I deserve a good life as much as anyone else .

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Hi Berta
You are not rambling at all- but speaking absolute sense.
Our brains can rewire and old connections which are not being “exercised”will weaken , so yes the urge to gamble will continue continue to weaken. They will always be there so it is wise to her barriers but they will definitely weaken.

Meanwhile new connections are being built and if we purposely choose to build healthy activities into our lives these connections will become stronger. Your post has been very helpful in highlighting for me that I have not done this part yet – I have simply switched to a Netflix “addiction”.

I did try GA but to be honest the whole idea of constantly
reinforcing that gambling has to stay this huge part our lives was unhelpful for me – it felt like a confessional for relapses – however I do realise it is helpful for some people- but I, like you, want the brain connections gambling has built to be weakened .

I guess it doesn’t matter whAt we believe so long as we are rebuilding our lives and not gambling – and this you are doing magnificently .

Keep strong xx

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Hi Emma
Well done on your progress. I hope you have found that extra work . Any work no matter how poorly paid will leave us better off the than the empty promise that is gambling .

You have a great attitude and are it is inspirational how you brush yourself down and start again .
Keep strong Emma.

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Monica
For the first time I am beginning to understand the consequences of going bankrupt. It goes way beyond the actual debt you are paying and can affect further opportunities in life . I never really understood this before and therefore I never really fully understood why you have been putting it off. It is a huge decision and I understand why it weighs so heavily. Will it affect your current employment?

I hope everything else in life is good good. It sounds like you’re grandson was in the wrong placement. Perhaps he can find an education out of school (EOTAS) placement -my understanding is that local must provide at least part time education for children but I’m sure your daughter is aware of this .

https://notfineinschool.org.uk/education-alternatives

This website might help.

That’s about it Monica – hope the sun so shining where you are .
Onwards and upwards XX

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