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Hi Sean
You are completely right – no amount of negative self-labelling , battling urges, barriers etc will stop us gambling. We need to rewire our brains so that other things take over from gambling and what better than positive self -talk?

Keep strong – you are doing great !

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What does a gamble free Saturday look like ?

This year …
Waking late after a great worry free sleep.
Getting washed and dressed to go meet friends for breakfast .
Perhaps a trip to town to do some Christmas shopping.
Head full of plans for Christmas – presents , food , events !

Last year ..
Sleepless night full of worry
Isolate and drown in the shame and misery
Struggle to keep food on table until payday
Head full of obsessively counting money .

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Hi Iknow , Most of us on here need barriers to help us stop – for example, could you go to the casino and self-ban so that you are no longer allowed to gamble there?

Can you get someone else to manage your money/ bank account for now and give you a small allowance which you must show receipts for?

Do you need a gambling blocker on your internet devices?

These steps are embarrassing to do but the sense of freedom once they are complete far exceeds any embarrassment.

Trips to casino where you end up miserable versus trips to different countries where you have amazing memories and life experiences? I know which I would choose !

You can stop Iknow – perhaps there is a support group near you like GA which you could join? Give it your all – there is also a lot of online support – when you get an urge go into the gamcare or gambling therapy one to one support and talk through with the people there .

I hope this helps – you absolutely deserve a good, happy , peaceful life .

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Hi Meghna ,
What a great post – it’s so good to read that life is going well for you. It is interesting that you find that choosing to not focus on gambling is helpful . I guess there are lots of better things we can focus on. Great news about the baby xx

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Well done Kiwi !
You have taken a very brave step and it is good that you got so much from the meeting. Meet you soon again in group x

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Hi alras
I guess what you want to do describes exactly what I have done . I took a week out fo my life and went on an intensive residential treatment and it has really been like pressing reset on my life . I am just starting into my fourth month gamble free and life is picking up.

It sounds to me as if you are searching for something in life – something that no amount of gambling , golf or exotic trips can fulfil. Would you consider visiting a counsellor weekly and exploring why you gamble?

There are many ways to ensure you don’t gamble – I think for you a good one would be to hand the financial side of the business to someone you trust (for now) and tell them to pay you only a salary which U have to be accountable for with receipts etc for your spending .

In the casino business we are called whales , and every employee wants to land a whale – they will flatter us , make us feel important, offer us perks because we are important to them … they do it for us because they know that we cannot stop once we start gambling , and that makes us a very important source of revenue.

A simple line which works for me with friends, family etc is “I have made a decision to stop gambling “ . If they require further explanation I simply say I am saving for a car, home improvements etc .

This is your life – and you are still pretty solvent by the sound of things. You can press reset anytime you choose but I have found is it much easier to do so with relay good support .

Hope this helps.

You deserve better !

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Hi Ryan
One of the hardest things when we stop gambling is to let go of the losses. I try to think of it as a failed business – when a business person goes bankrupt they don’t go and sink more money into a bust business. They often brush themselves down and start again.

You can do this too- letting go of the loss will stop you wanting to win it back .

This is not an easy journey but life does become much easier if we can stick with it .
Keep strong – u are doing good

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Hi kiwi
It was nice to meet you in group tonight .
Installing Gamban is a great move and will give u great peace of mind . I feel spending money on ourselves is a huge part of recovery as it reminds us that we are worth it and that we deserve recovery .
I hope you find GA really helpful .

Keep strong – u got this xx

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Thank you Beem
I guess I am just accepting pain as part of life and realising that living through it won’t kill me, but gambling to escape it just might ! It is uncomfortable and I find myself totally obsessing and unable to let it go, but eventually I find away through .
Dealing with things is new for me – I’m sure the process will get easier.

I am also being more assertive and saying no when things get too much – I am asking for help when I need it and mostly I am treating myself well and with compassion. The strange thing is this is making me more compassionate toward others , because I guess in our own way, or however it comes across, we are all coming from a good place !

Vera thank you so much for taking the time to post me a kind reply – I know things aren’t good for you right now and I really appreciate it . Xx

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Hi Steev,
What an exciting life you are leading. I can’t help but notice that recovery for me, for now anyway , seems to be the exact opposite . It is about learning to relax and enjoy my home which I have somehow never been able to do.

Your post was interesting in that I thought in recovery I might take a cruise – it never occurred to me that casinos might be a problem. It just goes to show we can learn from reading others threads, especially long timers like yourself .

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Hi Sherrie
I hope u are ok.

This horrible feeling will pass and life will look brighter soon .

Keep strong xx

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Привет, Вера. Извини, что прочитал это. Надеюсь, ты в порядке, хх

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Hi Vera
Sorry to read this .

Hope u are ok

Xx

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Hi
Today I am 3 calendar months gamble free – 13 weeks.
Deep inside, I know this will never be an issue for me again- not because I have learned ways to avoid gambling (although I have) but because I learned and developed ways to deal with life. I am constantly working on my coping skills.

When life got hard I used to simply escape – which only served to make life harder.

This week, I had a very strong emotional response to hearing some untrue gossip about me. It was torture for a number of hours and I kept telling myself to “sit with the pain”.

I did this, although it was really uncomfortable and really painful and consuming – and eventually I realised that one person gossiping was just that – and the pain lifted and I was ok – and I could still buy food for the rest of the month and my bank account was still intact.

I have learned that pain will eventually go whether we gamble or not and when we gamble we simply substitute one type of pain for another.

On another note, I found this link quite by accident – I think it makes very interesting reading.

https://peele.net/lib/truth_1.html

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Conor if you are in the U.K. you could join Gamstop. Gamban do a free trial so that might be worth trying . Also you could go to the GT live support and they will advise you further.

I reported my bank card lost and got a new one which I got someone else to open and scratch the last three numbers off and this has helped me as i cannot gamble online now .

Hope this helps .

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