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Hi Zedhead,

You are working so hard at fighting this addiction which you never asked for. You did not go out and actively seek an addiction and it has hurt you as much as anyone .
I can understand your partner being annoyed but I am having difficulty understanding why she would involve her son.
Ganging up on a person is bullying – you deserve to be living with people who treat you with respect – yes even when you make mistakes.

I hope as you continue on your journey of recovery and work with your counsellor you come to realise that you deserve to be treated with respect. I hope your self-esteem increases and that you find the strength to say to others when their behaviour is unacceptable. I hope you are able to recognise when behaviour is unacceptable.

Your gambling came back hugely three months ago – do you know if anything triggered this ? Were you worried or stressed? Was there something that was easier to escape than face?

You deserve the best life possible. You deserve to feel supported and loved by those close to you.
You deserve to be gamble free so keep working on it.

Keep strong Zedhead.

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Thank you Sean
Someone gave me a lottery ticket as a present . I kept it in my pocket for over a day.
I didn’t know what to do with it but after chatting to some friends in the group chat I decided to burn it there and then.
I found this was a really difficult decision but now have a huge sense of relief – I can’t bear to give up feeling this content with life even for a 70million (or whatever it is) win.

I have enough. My search for happiness in the wrong places is over – I won’t risk returning to the dark days for the tiny high of checking a lottery ticket!

Thank you online friends !

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Hi Sherrie
That’s a really lovely post .
Hoping you have a fantastic 2020

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Hi Zedhead
Thank you for sharing your story.
You know that you can stop and you know how to stay stopped. The difficult part for many of us is when we have been stopped for a long time, things start to pick up and we forget how bad it can get. We can start to think we can control it and that is often our downfall.
Well done for seeking help and taking so many actions to help you with this addiction.

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Happy New Year Sean.

Thank you for your support in the groups and on the forums. You being so much positivity to the site.
I am looking forward sharing a gamble free 2020 with you on the site !

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Well done Murs – what a great way to start the new year .
You wrote in your opening post that you had been gambling for a decade – you are now about to start a gamble free decade. Just think of all you will achieve!

Keep strong , stay positive and keep posting!

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Thank you Monica for your reply.
Happy New Year to Everyone.
Life is so nice right now – I am still enjoying a great holiday!

I couldn’t think of any New Year’s Resolutions but eventually I have decided to settle on just two.

1. I will love myself and my family by looking after my body.

2. I will love myself and my family by looking after my home.

And that’s it – a happy, healthy mummy increases the likelihood of a happy, healthy family!

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Well done Kon
A gamble free life is a much happier life for us.
Well done on putting so much effort into stopping .
Happy New Year.

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Monica
I have been doing something similar using an app called “Vision board”. It is good to take stock every once in a while .

You are very good at sticking to plans and I have no doubt that you will achieve your list! I think perhaps you could have a section for “love” as things seem to be shifting in the area of your life also.

I hope 2020 is the best year ever for you
Xx

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Today I took action to sort out my finances.

When you ring credit card companies they do an income and expenditure and they decide how much you should pay.

I discovered that if you go with their plans, a slight emergency sends you running for a payday loan to survive.

Today I explained exactly that to these companies and they were happy to take a much smaller payment.

Sure I will be paying off forever – but in the meantime I will be having a good life!

There is no race to pay off debts and we only get to live once !!

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Hi Kin
That is an amazing thought – no one loses in recovery – we either win or learn a lesson!

I hope you are having wins every day .

I could never imagine you being a show- off Kin and you do seem to possess an insight many of us do not have.
None of us ever know who our words will help – hopefully many people read them and benefit in some way.

Thank you for sharing Kin.

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Thank you Seanraj, Steev and Vera

Seanraj, today your posts about positivity keep coming into my mind – and it reminds me that is so easy to be positive when we are gamble free. It also leaves little room for others to make negative comments.

I always found negative comments set me backwhen I was gambling. – they made me feel hopeless and somehow incapable of change.
Such comments were often delivered under the guise of “straight – talking” or “telling the the things we don’t want to hear” or even “challenging us”.
Of course that was never their purpose – their purpose was to give the poster a sense of superiority/power or some other personal pay-off.

After a number of months of counselling I see the world differently – I understand that the negativity of others isn’t about me – it’s about them and I can only change me!

And so it is in life- I had come to believe that I needed to change because my “issues” gave others the right to treat me with less than respect.
I no longer believe that – no one has the right to be disrespectful to me- if they don’t like me as I am, they must make their own decisions about that but I deserve respect whatever their feelings !

Vera you are so right – having a gambling addiction causes huge mental stress. What I hadn’t considered was that we were gambling in the first place to escape mental stress. Counselling has helped me shift some things which were stuck – and has given me freedom so there is no need to escape anymore !

Steev thank you for your continued support – you were a huge anchor for me in the early days of recovery when I was in danger of drifting away !

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Hi Gamblingblows, I haven’t accumulated nearly as much gamble free time as you but reading through your post I feel counselling would be beneficial for you. It would give you time to work through issues which are holding you back, eg the mild depression you describe. There may be other blocks which you are currently unaware of .

You say you find it difficult to socialise but this is a skill which can be learned – you could start by buying a book and practicing some of the ideas there – most people have to learn how to socialise at some stage of their life and like other things some people are better than others at it but everyone can achieve a standard that allows them to meet people wits confidence.

Also some clubs are easier to socialise because everyone shares a common interest – it could be anything from a book club to a scrabble club.

You have done amazingly well on staying gamble free and you rightly should be proud of yourself. It is so encouraging to read a thread from someone who has so much gamble free time behind them.

Keep posting !

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Hi Pamred,
Well done on starting a thread – it is the most devastating feeling to know we have messed up due to gambling and find our minds completely absorbed by counting money and figuring out survival until we next get paid.

I find it helpful to think of the addiction as a sneaky, underhand, dishonest , manipulative person who lives in my brain. When urges to gamble come I think this is that “cow” trying get gambling into my life.

Everyone has to find their own way through the addiction -for example , there are people who go to GA and never gamble again after their first meeting and there are people who find GA really unhelpful.
What I found most helpful was the women’s short residential . It is a short stay away from your normal life and you learn so many strategies and tools which are helpful.
I hope you got that essay finished – what is your degree in ?
You can beat this and have a great life .

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Vera ,
Thank you for your post on my thread.
Will you be in the ten o clock group?
See you there
Xx

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