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Emma
A massive well done!
You are days away from a full month and full aware of how sneaky this addiction is .
For me this was the time when the addiction would whisper in my ear that I could chance £20 and then stop – it never happened like that for me ! I i think l awareness is a huge factor in staying stopped. It helps me to notice my thinking all the time and challenge any gambling thoughts.

Hope you are feeling very proud of yourself – I’m proud of you .
Keep strong xx

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Today I am due to meet some work colleagues for lunch. It should be fun. In the past I found myself run ragged keeping up to friends. Nowadays I am careful to balance this side of my life too.

Strangely since stopping gambling I find my desire to drink alcohol has great diminished. I find myself wondering if this was another escape for me in the past and if the therapy I have had had somehow helped with this too?

That’s about it – another glorious day with a spoilt, annoying (but much loved) dog and my little family.

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Hi Emma Thank you for your post on my thread. I replied in full on there. Hope all is going is well for you.

hope to meet u in chat soon xx

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Emma , I agree with all you have written.

It took me a decade to reach the stage where I took the help I so desperately needed – I was on the brink of ruin- another few weeks and things would have become irreversible financially.

I ask myself now why I waited so long and I guess I had to teach my own personal rock bottom.

For the record will power and sheer confidence only ever let me down – I will have to rely on barriers for the rest of my life but I also have had a huge amount of professional help which has really helped me overcome the urges to gamble. I no longer have days where it is a huge struggle for me. I have had months of professional support (6 months to date) and this is ongoing. 

We each need to find our own pathway – I guess I just want to save others the pain I went through for so many years – but all of the above excuses I am guilty of myself andI can only write from my own experience . I had so many if and buts and felt so sorry for myself and begged God to take the addiction away ( when I wasn’t praying for a win or money to survive).

I do  know that all those I am stayed in touch from the women’s residential are still gamble free.

I have no hesitation in recommending such treatment. I recommend to anyone who is struggling – get help from an addiction specialist- it could  save yeara of pain and years of debt.

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Why bother with recovery ?

Gambling is fun and there is always the chance of a big win.

I guess the biggest difference for me is waking everyday with a sense of contentment and gratitude.

After gambling for so many years my first thought is this is such a fantastic way to live and I am so grateful to those who have helped me to get here .

I can’t imagine ever wanting to give up feeling like this for any size win.

Having said that I am completely switched on to the fact that I have an addiction which could become active at any time if I lower my defences.

The best  piece of advice I would give to anyone who is stuck in the cycle is to get professional help and really try to follow the advice to the letter .

There is no room for “buts” or “poor me” in recovery. It is your addiction,you must own it and control it .

There will always be a reason why you can’t cancel a bank card or ban from a casino .

There will always be a reason why you need to keep access to large sums of money .

There will always be a trigger to gamble.

There will always be an addiction sneakily giving you these reasons .

You are not alone with this addiction – don’t allow it to take another moment of your happiness.

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A friend texted this morning to say she is in town. I am meeting her in a few hours .

In the past this would have meant excuses like pretending I’m not home or I had a work event .

Today it is a joy to hear from her – I have decent and not too washed out clothes to wear and get this …. I am sitting in a (budget) hairdressers waiting to get a long overdue cut n blow dry!

Now please tell me why I deprived myself of things like this for such a long time ?

This is what life should be like.

An added bonus is I have lost a bit of weight while I had flu!l quite a few inches in fact .  Life is good !

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So sorry to hear that you gambled Infalsetto.
You do know what to do and you have said it – you will self exclude .
I know how awful it feels when we just lose , but the addiction makes us forget fast so now is a good time to set up those self exclusions .

You will bounce back Inflasetto even if it doesn’t seem like it right now – do everything you can to make sure you can’t gamble .
The important thing so that you realise that we are never able to walk away no matter how big the win.

Forgive yourself, show yourself self compassion – be kind to yourself – you can do this – just add a few more barriers .

Keep strong my friend .

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Great decision Seanraj!
It is important to stop and notice how we are thinking and feeling and any bodily sensations we may have.

It only takes a moment of weakness to get drawn back into a hellish lifestyle.
Perhaps you could avoid that pub in future?

Your positive thinking is certainly working for you and yes your are stomping all over gambling !

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I feel that chirpy Emma !
Although gambling can sink us to the depths, I think for many of us it is our eternal optimism that makes us so vulnerable to gambling addiction.

I am a teacher and I am blown away by your post on my thread – I am going to build exactly what you have suggested into my school’s curriculum!

I agree if we were taught things like how to deal with those people who drown out energy in one way or another alongside our manners we could have asserted ourselves so often instead of trying to “be good” and polite – we could cut off the energy drainers before we found ourselves running for an escape activity.

Never stop being positive xx

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23 weeks today!

I realise I have been careful of The company I keep for the past 6 months. I have surrounded myself with positive people and spent less time with the energy drainers!

Why ? Because I have learned to value me and my time!

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Hi infaletto Firstly I admire your complete honesty, not only with us but with yourself.

Your gambling has become addictive so that financial recovery through gambling will never happen and if it does it will just drive you to gamble more – that is the nature of this addiction.

It is hard because the urges can be overwhelming (all part of the addiction) but keep putting off acting on these urges  until they  pass -and they will. (You can google how long they last) .

Keep strong Infalsetto. You are working so hard at this you deserve to succeed.

However this is what you are feeling right now (the urges) and I would say it might be an idea to sit with thode urges – give yourself some time – the money doesn’t have to be recovered today – decide to gamble in three months and avoid gambling until then . The reason I say this is that forever always seemed too long to me, and one day at a time felt like “why bother . Review the situation in two months.

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Emma , well done on such great progress.
It’s a great feeling when you know there’s is money to meet our expenses .
I like reading your thread because you have a very positive mindset – and I truly believe that while we need barriers and other support to help us especially in the early days, mindset is key to success!

Keep doing everything you are doing and keep noticing the rewards that stopping gambling gives us.

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Today I reflect upon the wisdom of helping others – I have always been one who will try to help others – often even at the expense of myself.
Many people revel in their “poor me” drama and I need to be careful not to be sucked into any more of these dramas. This is my own fault as I always take the bait.
Currently my phone never stops and yet if I offer a solution there’s always a “but” or a reason why the perfectly sound solution ca not work.
I used to attract a lot of “poor me’s” . Now I recognise the control drama quite quickly and cut my losses. However I realise I have to cut some of the older “poor me’s” in my life – those people who drain my energy constantly, who eat up all my time and who give little back except put downs delivered in a “ Dizzy poor me is so busy being a victim I couldn’t put anyone down” type of way.

This week I learned a valuable lesson – I have so many great friends with whom I laugh and am uplifted and yet we support each other when the need arises – why am i devoting so much time to a poor me ?

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Congratulations Steev on being one year house free.
It was a huge decision you took A year ago and just look at the great life you have today .
People throw the word inspirational about a lot nowadays but I actually felt yes, maybe I could take some risks in life.
We have all lived incredibly risky lives while we were gambling – often with no idea how we would survive until payday .
The life you live today may have en element of risk but the thing is YOU ARE LIVING LIFE !
Keep loving every minute steev.

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I have written about this book in the past. The Celestine Prophesy is a book that changed my life. I think this book could help anyone in recovery.

I especially liked how it explained the control dramas many people return to time and time again .

https://nikkijowen.com/control-dramas-the-truth-behind-energy-manipulation/

People play these dramas repeatedly so they can get attention from us and steal a little of our energy. The control dramas people play are
1 the intimidator
2 the interrogator
3 the aloof
4 the poor me

I am finding myself being dragged into a control drama right now and I have decided to not play ball! I have worked hard to get to where I am today and I am not allowing anyone to steal my energy or drag me down.
I have learned during my recovery to detach quickly from those who make it all about themselves and those who manipulate the truth!

I am in recovery. I am staying in recovery. I am making decisions which put my recovery first and not other people’s attempts to suck me in with their dramas!

Why .. because I deserve to keep my own energy !

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