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Hi Sj, it was lovely talking to you in group last night . Vera has given you some sound pointers . I hope the meds kick in soon . Well done on staying gamble free. If you can’t take time off work be extra kind to yourself when you are off .
Hugs !Hi Flo, if you have an android phone buy a gambling blocker for it today . It may well be the last bit of money you even blow on this addiction.
If you have an iPhone , down load k9, turn safari and all other search engine off . Turn App Store off and get your boyfriend to set the restriction code . Tell him you are finding the your phone too addictive if you are not ready to tell him right now . If you have no access you can’t gamble .There will always be a new site you can join. You need to shut this down right now .
Don’t think you can’t afford the gambling blocker . You can’t afford not to have it .
You will find peace and freedom return to your life very quickly
Hope this helpsHi Paul,
If you were wrong I think she would laugh at you and not huff. Like if I asked you were you robbing a bank rather than playing golf? It seems like she is evading the issue and evading you right now as she does not want to face your questions.
However she does sound lonely although guilt induction is a very common tactic. Golf is a very time consuming hobby.
It’s not the frequency of visits which really indicates if there is a problem. It’s the amount of recklessness I would say . Also she may well have visited every time you played golf and not told you . Does she still have lots of new clothes, buy good food etc. I think living from paycheck to paycheck is a big red flag .It strikes me that rather than seeking help you immediately see this may be the end of your 31 year long marriage so perhaps there are other issues here and maybe both of you would benefit from exploring these . Although it could be of course that this issue has worried you for a long time and you are only able to confront it right now .
Here is a link to gamanon, a website for families of people with a gambling addiction. You may find the questions here useful.
http://gamanon.org.uk/?page_id=32
I hope you find that your wife is not suffering from a gambling addiction Paul.
Hi zbuhaha,
It is well documented that mood and other disorders often exist alongside gambling disorder in an individual. The majority of these disorders are present prior to the gambling disorder although evidence would suggest that for many others, they appear after the commencement of compulsive gambling . Check out this site for a quick summaryhttp://www.ncrg.org/sites/default/files/oec/pdfs/ncrg_fact_sheet_comorbidity.pdf
I hope this helps . My own experience is that there is a tendency to blame several disorders on gambling disorder , when in fact it may well be that gambling is masking what is already present .
I am in awe of the support you are showing to your loved one and congratulate you on seeking professional help to do enable you to do what’s best for your family . However, if you feel scared, you must do what is best for you, even if it means some time apart. This is not being selfish, it is self preservation . I hope this helps.
Love this post! Any more inspirational stuff for us Ken! Sometimes get bored by the repetition on this site!
Люблю этот пост! Еще больше вдохновляющих вещей для нас, Кен! Иногда надоедает повторение на этом сайте!
Rayman after many years I finally stopped and have stayed stopped!
First advice I wud give is get real live help now! Online we help each other feel less bad abour our slips! U need to draft in soMeone who loves u and get them to control ur money! Yes it is difficult to admit that u have a weakness but evenrtually this will destroy u if u don’t control it!
A little pain and embarressment now will prevent years if hell and possible eventual ruin!I used online support for years and had no success !
U are intelligent and wise enough to withstand a small storM now! If u have parents draft them in to help. U cud buy them a very holiday xmas if u do and still have More money left than if u struggle alone!
Do it now! Get real help!! The sooner u do the sooner this nitemare stops!!So happy reading this thread!
Delighted by your success!Courage there is always hope. Life has ups and downs with or without addiction. When we are down the only way is up. Reach out to all the people who can help. If anyone of these people makes you feel less than the most special human on the planet, drop them, cut them off
Fill your life with beautiful people like you.Fill your life with people who build you up, people who say well done, who never add a “but” to that! Us senstivie people are sensitive to the subtle put downs of others.
Simple test : do I feel good after spending time with thsi friend, counsellor, relative, neighbour? If the answer is ever no then dump them. People will justify their behaviour under the guise of “challenging” “helping” “supporting” and other equally self important words.
How do I know all this? I know because “I did it”. I got rid of the toxic people who liked to help me, and mirculously I no longer needed their help.
Reading your thread I see you have struggled. I recognise that struggle but there is hope, there is a great future. It helps me to think the only real damage was to my finances and then I remember there is so much truth in the old saying Money can’t buy you happiness.