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Фантастическая поэма Вера!
Poema fantástico, Vera!
Fantastic poem Vera !
Fantastic poem Vera !
Fantastyczny wiersz Vera!
Bài thơ tuyệt vời Vera!
शानदार कविता वेरा!
Hi Sarah ! Welcome and well done on facing up to things .
I think you should be in the other forum tho!My tips would be
1 . stay accountable to your mum about ur money
Maybe even get her to handle your account for awhile and monitor what u spend
2. Treat yourself to nice things even while u pay off debts -things which remind you that money has other purposes and that reward u for not gambling .
3. Don’t look back . What is gone is gone and is never coming back. Eyes firmly looking forward .Hope this helps
HI Bee .hope all is going well today . You can do this ! You are doing this .
And the great news is it will get easier to do this !
Keep working at it . Well done On all the self excluding !
u deserve this Bee! Believe that, believe in u !Well done Bee. So pleased for u . Keep plugging away at it. U will get there . I had no will power either but it does grow with free time. I actually did what u are doing – signing up and blocking. Now when u get money treat urself to something frivolous like getting ur nails done so u can see all the time the reward of not gambling . Dont think about it , don’t feel guilty about it. Just do it. My first buy was sparkly sandals which I wore every day and they sang to me “u are gamble free” . Bee u are doing it . !!!
You know Bee it actually sounds like ur hubby is an amazing help! Why not really open up and tell him how difficult it is for you . Why not ask him to take control of the finances and ask him not to give in to you. Why not tell him having money in the bank and not having this stressful life would truly make you happy. Explain to him the what was an escape from your pain has become a trap causing pain.
I found it is almost impossible to resist playing the free fiver or whatever when I signed up to sites to ban. Then I would think a tenner won’t hurt – only one . Next thing I was broken cos I had lost half the wages for the month . A gambling blocker like gam blocker or bet filter would be a great investment of your hubby’s pay . You could not gamble on line at all. You can also get hubby to set parental controls on the wifi and not give u the code .
Throw everything at this Bee . Give it your all! I think it’s a great idea to self ban at those bookies .
Make your whole life about not gambling For the next few months . It will be hard work and sometimes seem impossible but u need to abstain to break down this addiction. It does get easier. And like you – it is so worth itBee, you are where each of us have been countless times . You have had two (or nearly two?) full days free this week. That’s a great start.
What can u do now ? Say goodbye to the money and accept t is gone forever . Draw a line in the sand and start again. You will beat this you know – each time you lapse put a new barrier in place . Shut down an account , buy a gambling block for your laptop, attend GA, go to the groups on here – give control of your money to your husband . There are so many small steps you cAn take , that can make this your last fling with gambling .
Do try that counsellor . You maybe need a new way to help you deal with your grief.
You will stop gambling you know . your honesty is brilliant and shows how committed you are to stopping . Hang in there . All is not lost – just some time and money .
What’s gone is gone – let it go and don’t glance back over your shoulder – keep looking forward .
You will beat this.Hi Bee, I am so sorry to read about your loss. I think for many people gambling addiction can be triggered when we are trying to cope with huge stress. I know for you that there was not a happy resolution to your worries and this pain you must carry with you always .
Have you had grief counselling?Perhaps It is time to speak with someone again. Perhaps it would be helpful to feel listened to and maybe it would help make sense of things in own head . You may have needed an escape for the past number of years but the fact you have come here tells me that you are now ready to face life without using a ‘crutch’ which I think gambling was for you.You may have an addictive personality – I think most people do – but u do deserve a good life. You are doing really well in stopping gambling – the first days are really hard! An addictive personality can be controlled . I am living proof of that.
You will be amazed at how quickly life get better once you stop gambling . I think sometimes we get so low with gambling we feel we can never climb out – but we can and people to all the time.
Keep working it Bee- day by day, minute by minute. It is so worth sacrificing one thing in your life (gambling ) for all the rewards a gamble free life gives us
Well down Mav. You are doing great! I always think to myself when people upset me – think of the most popular person u know. Now Rem loadsa people dislike that person just because they are popular ! U will never please everyone .
I think we need to every day do something for ourselves to remind ourselves that we are worth it .
because we are
Even though we say that we often don’t feel it
And that is why horrible little people can bring us down.
U are so worth it Mav.u are worth recovery . U are worth happiness . And u are even worth time on the mind and lips of a ******* who has nothing better to do than gossip! But this ******** is not worth time in your mind!Keep strong. Keep posting . And keep recovering!
Hi S, (hope I don’t get told off for my reply as I think everyone here just wants to help and we all view things according to own unique experiences but here goes )
Firstly I am so pleased to Read that you and your sister haven’t repeated history by developing a gambling addiction yourselves.
My mum also has a gambling addiction and it something I also have had to struggle with but I have now overcome it and am living a very happy life.. It’s so difficult to overcome one addiction-never mind three but it is possible and people do it every day .
I immediately liked u as a person .i liked how you could see the good in your mother and stated it so clearly . I liked how u genuinely want to help her have a happy life- the help you want to give is about your mum not you which is hugely admirable . I liked how you did not need to use any derogatory words to describe your mum. Your love for your mum leaped off my screen.
I think though ( and forgive me if I’m wrong) that perhaps you whole life has been spent “fixing things ” and maybe it’s time to take a step back and put yourself first . In my case , and my mum is lovely and I want to buy her everything and give her everything , but I know that it is bad for me to spend time with her without my partner somewhere in the wings . I have had to take a major step back , and I do feel guilty but I have to put my own family first . I have to put my recovery first . I don’t love her any less .I think Velvet’s suggestion about residential treatment is really good . It sound like your mum is using a lot of props to get through life and a break from everything could be just the thing to stop the cycle of addiction and give her space to work through issues and even forgive herself .
I wish I could be of more help but I am not an expert in addictions and can only speak from my own experience . However I do believe heal the body and the mind will follow . I think it might be helpful for your mum, to see her gp with a view to getting some dietary supplements suitable for those with alcohol issues as alcoholism plays havoc with the body’s nutritional status .
Please stay posting . You will find people from all backgrounds on here and with all types of experiences . It will help you understand your mother’s addiction ( as much of any of us can understand it ) and it can be somewhere where you will get to talk about the effect of this addiction on you .Hope this has helped a little