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Day 8 – still feeling strong .
I am considering postponing that visit which is causing me to worry quite a bit – what if I leave it until it is too late – what good is recovery if I live out the rest of my life feeling guilty . I guess I have a moral dilemma in my hands – can I risk recovery and the family I have created to do the right thing by the family which created me ?

I need to get a more positive vibe going here – day 8, week 2 – last working day of the week and looking forward to weekend. I am going to plan my free time for the first time ever – maybe that is why I love work so much – my time is planned for me .

Feeling a little low – but I am aware and I am looking forward .
Onwards and upwards

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Yes I am on here all the time – It seems to be replacing time spent gambling right now – but that’s ok for now – i need the support .
Remember however I had sleep earlier as I nodded off during the group – and I have always been a great sleeper (except when gambling). I know when I chose I will be asleep in seconds .

I hope you are getting enough rest Monica – sleep
Is healing and the world looks so much better after a good night’s sleep.
Keep posting as often as you feel you need to – that’s what the site is here for and it sure beats gambling .

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Hi P, I hope you are ok.
It sounds like you might need to ring your doctor if you are not feeling quite yourself – I think that is what your post is saying .
I completely get what you are saying about progression.
Here was a time I would have been devastated if I lost a few hundred – now it can be thousands and I still keep gambling – and it just doesn’t feel like a lot .
I’m sorry I nodded off during the group last night (pain killers).
I hope you are feeling better and feel more yourself .

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Google an alpha course near you and go Monica.
You will find a loving God who of course doesn’t make us ill.
You will also really enjoy the course .

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Hi Bettie ,
Remembering you and Jen in my prayers xx

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Hi Monica ,
It’s good to have some money (even if it’s not nearly enough) and it’s good to have those bills paid.
I hope you get good news from your doctor – can you get an appointment tomorrow so you don’t have to worry all weekend ?
Do you attend a church Monica – if there was an Aplha course it would be a great way to meet new people and explore your faith more deeply .
God will look after you – when you look back I am sure you can see many times where he helped you when you least expected it .
Try to get a good sleep Monica , and congratulations on all your gamble free days – life will get easier – you will see xx

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I have been on quite strong pain killers to be honest Monica – I detest taking tablets but I didn’t want to miss work. I think they knocked me out – it’s the first time I have fallen asleep mid group. I am taking a fraction of the prescribed dosage – but I alway feel any meds are heavy on the system .

You will find you get to know people in groups . When the groups get too large they are not as good , but we can still learn from others experiences and advice. I was at an earlier group also tonight .

So I am almost on day 8- it has been pretty painless – week 2 – I like when I can ***** in weeks – it is kinda motivating . I continue to be mindful that some people for whatever reason are not conducive to my recovery . I see it, acknowledge it and then it loses its power over me . I have recently learned that People do not like to lose power over you ! That however is their business not mine .
I am very grateful to everyone who has posted me and supported me .
Harry I will make it to a chat next week- thank you for taking the time to post me . I just realised that since our chat I haven’t gambled ! I have cut off something on my phone which was allowing me to bypass my gambling blocker – unfortunately it also means I cannot access chat during the day .
Charles thank you for your continued support – I know I haven’t always been grateful for it , and didn’t always agree with you – mostly because I knew better ( and that worked out well for me lol) – but after many years I am thinking maybe you do talk a little sense after all!

I am happy – I am hopeful – I am aware .

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Hi Mark,
How’s it going ?
Hi also OB- I look forward to reading your thread .

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Hi Monica .
Sorry to everyone in the group – I fell asleep – could feel my eye getting heavy …long hard day ! Just woke and sorry I missed the rest .
I think new members would Be a good group as it would be less busy.

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Lol- they probably think we should be baking a cake to bring along – hey maybe I will !
You are not alone Monica – you have us on here !
If you could let go of the loss of the money – draw a line in the sand and never look back at it- would that reduce your pain?
Would it be a start ?
Do you ever get relief from the pain Monica ? What are you doing at these times ? Could you do it more often?
I am sorry for all the questions – I am trying to understand.

Please come to Charles groups tonight . Go to the top of the page – click on the purple words support groups – you will see the times – then click on view as list .- chose a group and you are in .

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Delighted to read you are keeping well and sticking on the recovery road . Mav It is refreshing to Read that you are a work in progress – many of us forget to work on our character faults when we find recovery – in fact being on this site for eight years on and off I never knew that was part of the Ga philosophy until I attended my first meeting a few weeks ago.
Keep on that road !

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Well done Micky – Every new thing we add strengthens our armour against this horrible addiction. Alcohol doesn’t help so well done on that too- you deserve happiness and you deserve a supportive partner – all in all life is looking good for you Micky !

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Thank you for your post Monica.
Yes the tv ads definitely do it for me . I wonder how many others find them a problem.

So I am on day 7- a full week – and feeling positive- I read Jaykay’s thread from start to finish last night and found it very motivating – just shows it can be done .

Today I am not feeling so strong when It comes to a negative person in my life . If you have been reading my thread I will have described this person as an interrogator (Celestine Prophesy). You didn’t? Why did you? Why didn’t you ? Did you? It’s like keeping a running record on every mistake and somehow it is very deflating . This person also has a gambling addiction.
Today I am feeling guilt as it has been a while since I saw this person and I know it is something which I have to do. It also has been the trigger for practically every relapse I have ever had.
Life is never simple- we can’t always just cut people out of our lives because it helps us stay clean .
Some relationships are too close , too important, too deep.
I am planning a trip to visit – I’m not sure how to avoid a relapse – maybe my new mindset will help – maybe I can find a ga meeting nearby.
Life is never simple .

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Hi Jay, I have just read your entire thread from start to finish- I have been posting on here for a long time and I guess I missed your thread because I was too busy gambling to look at new threads .
A massive congratulations on all you have achieved- in an hour I will have reached seven days gamble free and your thread has convinced me that this time I will do it .
I am going to post the weeks like you do once I actually get a few under my belt .
Please continue to post – your thread is helping others like me to believe that we can do it too. I think it’s a really effective thread to read because it’s very positive, you number the weeks so it’s easy to follow your journey and also your posts are very concise (as u can see that’s I skill I have yet to conquer )
Thank you for inspiring me tonight .

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lol I am the only woman at mine –
I kinda like it cos they won’t let me lift the chairs at the end !
I only become a feminist if I’m asked to do something like make the coffee lol !
Well done – keep with the honesty – I am being honest with myself at last too .

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