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Hi Jaques Paul,
There is always light- just sometimes we are too overwhelmed to see it .
You have a family who care deeply for you and want you well – with or without debt !
Keep strong , well done on that gamban
People cAre , People value you , people need you .
Get well soon

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Monica – did u see in the news that Scotland’s children’s commissioner is considering taking legal action against universal credit ? It is causing poverty for kids !

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TinA , I never mentioned gambling to the credit card companies – I think that wouldn’t have made me seem very trustworthy but maybe I’m wrong !

Sorry I should have said – step change is an organisation who helps you sort your debt – they said my only solution was bankruptcy .
Just told them I was giving bankrupt if they didn’t come up with plan .

http://www.capnz.org/

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TinA – I owed at least that much at the start.
If you feel for one moment that they would go for your house , I think it maybe you could consider signing it all over to your dad’s name ? Is that something that is possible ?

TinA here’s what I did .

I had tried to get repayment plans with lot do companies and met with very unhelpful people.
Then one day I rang them and said – I have been on to step change and they said I should go bankrupt ( they did ) – is there any repayment plan we can work out because if I go bankrupt you get nothing because there is nothing? . Suddenly every one of them worked out a plan . That is quite a few years ago – many debts are cleared – a few big ones will run for years – but I have money to live comfortably and I no longer get calls or letters . And even the big debts aren’t so huge now .
My suggestion. is get all the letters in front of you and spend an afternoon ringing them all! He sooner you do it the sooner you have control in your life .

I guess it’s a good thing your siblings did that with the house .
Although I understand it was painful for you – imagine your pain if your dad’s house was sold .
Tina I think there is someone called Christians against poverty who can advise about debt and how best to sort it . Google and see if there is something similar close to you.

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Hi aronzz,
Well done on joining this site and writing about your gambling.
Can u out a gambling blocker on your laptop – like net nanny or something. There are better ones you can buy but I’m guessing that’s no an option for you right now.

Is there anyone who can manage the rest of your money so you don’t have access to it ?

You can stop – many on here have – just take steps to keep the rest of your money safe for now.

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Hi Laura , I wrote to you four times today and none would post !
So if you get five similar posts I haven’t gone crazy !
I loved what you wrote about the loans you “need” and the loans you “want”
It is such a great reminder of how good things can be in recovery .
I am struggling somewhat at the moment but am so appreciative of your support. It is so easy to kick someone when they are down , so easy to get frustrated because it should be easy – such a simple thing to not gamble . I don’t find it easy – I find it a struggle – I find life is conveyor belt of hope and hopelessness , of optimism and disappointment , of feeling empowered and feeling disempowered.
At times I really hate myself and I cannot tell you how much is helps me to open GT and find kind words and support . Thank you .

It is also really helpful to hear about your journey – I wonder how long it will be before I am credit worthy enough to get a loan – possible never .
Laura keep doing everything you are doing . Keep up those close family ties and mostly be kind to yourself . I am so glad you are back at GT- you are such a source of hope and inspiration for many of us .

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Monica,
MY GA never mentioned steps – what put me off was feeling forced to speak – they went through the names on roll – and as I was the only female – I felt judged. it’s difficult to explain – it was like it was ok for them because their wives shoulda be standing by them , but I was bad because of what I am doing to my poor husband .

I know I did get something from it the first night when I listened to others – then it seemed to get too “controlling “.
Every time I think about GA not I think about the “Fat controller ” on Thomas the Tank , cos that kinda is what it was like- it kinda makes me giggle – maybe it is a character flaw after all but I do not like being controlled . Same on my thread – I don’t like others dictating to me what I should post or keeping track of how much I post .

Charles has suggested saying to “the controller ” that I don’t want to speak . Why can’t they just let people volunteer – and then if I I do speak I am not going to say that I am a Cg or any other rubbish – I will say I have a gambling addiction . There is a reason I am the only woman there and I don’t believe it is because I am the only female with this Compulsion.

Your partners rejection when you were ill must have hurt you to the core . It wasn’t about you but about his inability to deal with difficult circumstances . Any which way you deserved and deserve more that that . It is easy be someone’s partner when life is good – that’s why we take vows – in sickness and in health! It also is a form of control to kick someone when they are down – the more I read the more I am convinced that behind a huge percentage of people with gambling addiction there is a controlling, angry. “loved one” who nit-picks and find fault !

I am pleased with my last few posts on my thread. I feel I have addressed issues which in truth have been affecting my recovery for years . Some people makes snowballs behind the scenes for others to throw – and then step back smelling of roses – fool me once , shame on you – fool me twice , shame on me !!

Onwards and upwards Monica !

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Kin ,
It’s been a while since I read your thread – (been caught up in other people’s drama). I don’t know what word to use – I am gobsmacked, feel like I have been hit on the head with a brick , speechless – I don’t know what the correct word is.

You write with such insight and clarity – you recent posts are speaking to my very soul.
It feels like God is calling to me – telling me it’s ok- no need to search – I will find you .

Today when I felt so disappointed in myself your thread told me I have been depending on man for help- not God .
I have been searching for help in the wrong places .
Man will always let us down . He is too imperfect. His own weaknesses will always get in the way.

I have lost my way Kin – but your beautiful writing has shown me today that God has found me and is speaking to me .
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing.
You have the gift of wisdom .

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Hei Lizbeth, Kun luin Lauran ketjusta, että suljet vanhan viestiketjun, ryntäsin kirjoittamaan tänne. Olen niin iloinen, että avasit uuden ketjun – joulu luo niin paljon painetta, joten on hyvä päätös ostaa vain lastenlapsille. Neuvonta kuulostaa myös hienolta päätökseltä- kuten Laura sanoo, että on hyvä lisätä jotain uutta. Olen niin iloinen, että kirjoitat tänne – olen ollut tällä sivustolla monta vuotta ja pidän kiinni viestiketjastasi. Kerro meille, miten neuvonta menee – en ole koskaan kokeillut neuvontaa sen jälkeen, kun olen kehittänyt tämän riippuvuuden. Kiva nähdä, että postaat edelleen Lizbethin.

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Привіт Лізбет, коли я прочитав у темі Лори, що ти закриваєш свою стару тему, я поспішив написати там. Я дуже радий, що ви відкрили нову тему – Різдво створює такий тиск, тому це чудове рішення просто купити для онуків. Консультація також звучить як чудове рішення- як каже Лора, добре додати щось нове. Я дуже радий, що ви тут публікуєте – я був на цьому сайті багато років, і мені подобається встигати за вашою темою. Будь ласка, повідомте нам, як проходить консультування – я ніколи не пробував консультування з моменту розвитку цієї залежності. Дуже рада бачити, що ви все ще публікуєте Лізбет.

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Sveika, Lizbeta. Kad es izlasīju Lauras pavedienu, ka tu aizver savu veco pavedienu, es steidzos tur rakstīt. Es ļoti priecājos, ka atklājāt jaunu pavedienu – Ziemassvētki rada tādu spiedienu, tāpēc ir lielisks lēmums vienkārši iegādāties mazbērniem. Konsultācijas arī izklausās kā lielisks lēmums, jo Laura saka, ka ir labi pievienot kaut ko jaunu. Es esmu tik priecīgs, ka jūs šeit ievietojat ziņas – esmu bijis šajā vietnē daudzus gadus un man patīk panākt jūsu pavedienu. Lūdzu, dariet mums zināmu, kā notiek konsultācijas – kopš šīs atkarības rašanās es nekad neesmu īsti mēģinājis konsultēt. Prieks redzēt, ka jūs joprojām ievietojat Lizbetu.

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Szia Lizbeth! Amikor Laura szálán olvastam, hogy lezártad a régi szálodat, rohantam írni. Nagyon örülök, hogy új szálat nyitottál – a karácsony ilyen nyomást gyakorol, így nagyszerű döntés, ha csak az unokáknak vásárol. A tanácsadás is nagyszerű döntésnek tűnik- Laura szerint jó valami újat hozzáadni. Nagyon örülök, hogy itt posztol – hosszú évek óta ezen az oldalon vagyok, és szeretem felzárkózni a témához. Kérjük, ossza meg velünk, hogyan zajlik a tanácsadás – soha nem próbáltam igazán tanácsadást, mióta kifejlődött ez a függőség. Nagyon örülök, hogy még mindig közzé teszed Lizbethet.

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Γεια σου Λίζμπεθ, Όταν διάβασα στο νήμα της Λάουρα ότι έκλεινες το παλιό σου νήμα, βιάστηκα να γράψω εκεί. Χαίρομαι που ανοίξατε ένα νέο νήμα – τα Χριστούγεννα δημιουργούν τέτοια πίεση, οπότε είναι μια εξαιρετική απόφαση να αγοράσετε μόνο για τα εγγόνια. Η συμβουλευτική ακούγεται επίσης ως μια εξαιρετική απόφαση- όπως λέει η Laura είναι καλό να προσθέσετε κάτι νέο. Χαίρομαι πολύ που δημοσιεύετε εδώ – είμαι εδώ σε πολλά χρόνια και μου αρέσει να παρακολουθώ το νήμα σας. Παρακαλώ ενημερώστε μας πώς πάει η συμβουλευτική – δεν έχω δοκιμάσει ποτέ πραγματικά τη συμβουλευτική από τότε που ανέπτυξα αυτόν τον εθισμό. Χαίρομαι που σε βλέπω ακόμα να δημοσιεύεις τη Λίζμπεθ.

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Hej Lizbeth, Da jeg læste på Lauras tråd, at du lukkede din gamle tråd, skyndte jeg mig at skrive der. Jeg er så glad for, at du åbnede en ny tråd – julen skaber sådan et pres, så det er en fantastisk beslutning at bare købe til børnebørnene. Rådgivningen lyder også som en god beslutning- da Laura siger, at det er godt at tilføje noget nyt. Jeg er så glad for, at du skriver her – jeg har været på dette websted i mange år, og jeg elsker at indhente din tråd. Fortæl os venligst, hvordan rådgivningen foregår – jeg har aldrig rigtig prøvet rådgivning, siden jeg udviklede denne afhængighed. Så glad for at se dig stadig sende Lizbeth.

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Xin chào Lizbeth, Khi tôi đọc trên chủ đề của Laura rằng bạn đang đóng chủ đề cũ của mình, tôi đã vội vàng viết lên đó. Tôi rất vui vì bạn đã mở một chủ đề mới – Giáng sinh tạo ra áp lực như vậy nên việc chỉ mua cho các cháu ngoại là một quyết định tuyệt vời. Việc tư vấn cũng có vẻ như là một quyết định tuyệt vời – như Laura nói rằng thật tốt khi thêm một cái gì đó mới. Tôi rất vui vì bạn đã đăng bài ở đây – Tôi đã ở trên trang web này nhiều năm và tôi thích theo dõi chủ đề của bạn. Vui lòng cho chúng tôi biết quá trình tư vấn diễn ra như thế nào – Tôi chưa bao giờ thực sự thử tư vấn kể từ khi tôi phát triển chứng nghiện này. Rất vui khi thấy bạn vẫn đăng Lizbeth.

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