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Hi Jaques Paul,
There is always light- just sometimes we are too overwhelmed to see it .
You have a family who care deeply for you and want you well – with or without debt !
Keep strong , well done on that gamban
People cAre , People value you , people need you .
Get well soon

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Monica – did u see in the news that Scotland’s children’s commissioner is considering taking legal action against universal credit ? It is causing poverty for kids !

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TinA , I never mentioned gambling to the credit card companies – I think that wouldn’t have made me seem very trustworthy but maybe I’m wrong !

Sorry I should have said – step change is an organisation who helps you sort your debt – they said my only solution was bankruptcy .
Just told them I was giving bankrupt if they didn’t come up with plan .

http://www.capnz.org/

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TinA – I owed at least that much at the start.
If you feel for one moment that they would go for your house , I think it maybe you could consider signing it all over to your dad’s name ? Is that something that is possible ?

TinA here’s what I did .

I had tried to get repayment plans with lot do companies and met with very unhelpful people.
Then one day I rang them and said – I have been on to step change and they said I should go bankrupt ( they did ) – is there any repayment plan we can work out because if I go bankrupt you get nothing because there is nothing? . Suddenly every one of them worked out a plan . That is quite a few years ago – many debts are cleared – a few big ones will run for years – but I have money to live comfortably and I no longer get calls or letters . And even the big debts aren’t so huge now .
My suggestion. is get all the letters in front of you and spend an afternoon ringing them all! He sooner you do it the sooner you have control in your life .

I guess it’s a good thing your siblings did that with the house .
Although I understand it was painful for you – imagine your pain if your dad’s house was sold .
Tina I think there is someone called Christians against poverty who can advise about debt and how best to sort it . Google and see if there is something similar close to you.

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Hi aronzz,
Well done on joining this site and writing about your gambling.
Can u out a gambling blocker on your laptop – like net nanny or something. There are better ones you can buy but I’m guessing that’s no an option for you right now.

Is there anyone who can manage the rest of your money so you don’t have access to it ?

You can stop – many on here have – just take steps to keep the rest of your money safe for now.

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Hi Laura , I wrote to you four times today and none would post !
So if you get five similar posts I haven’t gone crazy !
I loved what you wrote about the loans you “need” and the loans you “want”
It is such a great reminder of how good things can be in recovery .
I am struggling somewhat at the moment but am so appreciative of your support. It is so easy to kick someone when they are down , so easy to get frustrated because it should be easy – such a simple thing to not gamble . I don’t find it easy – I find it a struggle – I find life is conveyor belt of hope and hopelessness , of optimism and disappointment , of feeling empowered and feeling disempowered.
At times I really hate myself and I cannot tell you how much is helps me to open GT and find kind words and support . Thank you .

It is also really helpful to hear about your journey – I wonder how long it will be before I am credit worthy enough to get a loan – possible never .
Laura keep doing everything you are doing . Keep up those close family ties and mostly be kind to yourself . I am so glad you are back at GT- you are such a source of hope and inspiration for many of us .

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Monica,
MY GA never mentioned steps – what put me off was feeling forced to speak – they went through the names on roll – and as I was the only female – I felt judged. it’s difficult to explain – it was like it was ok for them because their wives shoulda be standing by them , but I was bad because of what I am doing to my poor husband .

I know I did get something from it the first night when I listened to others – then it seemed to get too “controlling “.
Every time I think about GA not I think about the “Fat controller ” on Thomas the Tank , cos that kinda is what it was like- it kinda makes me giggle – maybe it is a character flaw after all but I do not like being controlled . Same on my thread – I don’t like others dictating to me what I should post or keeping track of how much I post .

Charles has suggested saying to “the controller ” that I don’t want to speak . Why can’t they just let people volunteer – and then if I I do speak I am not going to say that I am a Cg or any other rubbish – I will say I have a gambling addiction . There is a reason I am the only woman there and I don’t believe it is because I am the only female with this Compulsion.

Your partners rejection when you were ill must have hurt you to the core . It wasn’t about you but about his inability to deal with difficult circumstances . Any which way you deserved and deserve more that that . It is easy be someone’s partner when life is good – that’s why we take vows – in sickness and in health! It also is a form of control to kick someone when they are down – the more I read the more I am convinced that behind a huge percentage of people with gambling addiction there is a controlling, angry. “loved one” who nit-picks and find fault !

I am pleased with my last few posts on my thread. I feel I have addressed issues which in truth have been affecting my recovery for years . Some people makes snowballs behind the scenes for others to throw – and then step back smelling of roses – fool me once , shame on you – fool me twice , shame on me !!

Onwards and upwards Monica !

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Kin ,
It’s been a while since I read your thread – (been caught up in other people’s drama). I don’t know what word to use – I am gobsmacked, feel like I have been hit on the head with a brick , speechless – I don’t know what the correct word is.

You write with such insight and clarity – you recent posts are speaking to my very soul.
It feels like God is calling to me – telling me it’s ok- no need to search – I will find you .

Today when I felt so disappointed in myself your thread told me I have been depending on man for help- not God .
I have been searching for help in the wrong places .
Man will always let us down . He is too imperfect. His own weaknesses will always get in the way.

I have lost my way Kin – but your beautiful writing has shown me today that God has found me and is speaking to me .
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing.
You have the gift of wisdom .

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Bok Lizbeth, Kad sam na Laurinoj temi pročitao da zatvaraš svoju staru temu, požurio sam pisati tamo. Drago mi je što ste otvorili novu temu – Božić stvara takav pritisak pa je izvrsna odluka samo kupiti za unuke. Savjetovanje također zvuči kao izvrsna odluka- jer Laura kaže da je dobro dodati nešto novo. Drago mi je da objavljujete – na ovoj sam stranici već mnogo godina i volim pratiti vašu temu. Molimo vas da nas obavijestite o tome kako savjetovanje ide – nikad nisam pokušao savjetovati se otkad sam razvio ovu ovisnost. Tako mi je drago vidjeti vas da još uvijek objavljujete Lizbeth.

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Sveiki, Lizbeth, kai perskaičiau Lauros giją, kad uždarėte savo seną temą, puoliau ten rašyti. Labai džiaugiuosi, kad atidarėte naują temą – Kalėdos sukuria tokį spaudimą, todėl yra puikus sprendimas tiesiog pirkti anūkams. Konsultacijos taip pat skamba kaip puikus sprendimas- kaip Laura sako, kad gera pridėti kažką naujo. Labai džiaugiuosi, kad jūs čia rašote – aš jau daugelį metų esu šioje svetainėje ir man patinka stebėti jūsų temą. Praneškite mums, kaip vyksta konsultavimas – aš niekada nebandžiau konsultavimo nuo tada, kai sukūriau šią priklausomybę. Labai malonu matyti, kad vis dar skelbiate Lizbetą.

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Tere Lizbeth. Kui lugesin Laura teemast, et sulgesite oma vana teema, tormasin sinna kirjutama. Mul on nii hea meel, et avasite uue teema – jõulud tekitavad sellise surve, mistõttu on suurepärane otsus lihtsalt lapselastele osta. Nõustamine kõlab ka suurepärase otsusena- nagu Laura ütleb, et on hea midagi uut lisada. Mul on nii hea meel, et te siin postitate – olen sellel saidil olnud palju aastaid ja mulle meeldib teie lõimele järele jõuda. Palun andke meile teada, kuidas nõustamine läheb – pärast selle sõltuvuse tekkimist pole ma kunagi nõustamist tegelikult proovinud. Mul on hea meel näha, et sa ikka Lizbethi postitad.

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Hi Lizbeth,
When I read on Laura’s thread that you were closing your old thread I went rushing to write on there . I am so glad you opened a new thread – Christmas creates such pressure so it is a great decision to just buy for the grandkids .

The counselling also sounds like a great decision- as Laura says it’s good to add something new .

I am so glad you are here posting – I have been on this site for many years and I love catching up on your thread.
Please let us know how the counselling goes – I haven’t ever really tried counselling since I developed this addiction .

So glad to see you still posting Lizbeth .

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Ahoj Lizbeth, když jsem si přečetl na Laurině vlákně, že zavíráš své staré vlákno, spěchal jsem tam napsat. Jsem tak ráda, že jste otevřeli nové vlákno – Vánoce vytvářejí takový tlak, takže je skvělé rozhodnutí koupit jen pro vnoučata. Poradenství také zní jako skvělé rozhodnutí- jak říká Laura, je dobré přidat něco nového. Jsem tak rád, že jste zde zveřejnění – jsem na tomto webu mnoho let a rád doháním vaše vlákno. Dejte nám prosím vědět, jak poradenství probíhá – od té doby, co jsem si tuto závislost vytvořil, jsem poradenství nikdy nezkusil. Jsem ráda, že stále zveřejňujete Lizbeth.

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ہیلو لیزبیتھ ، جب میں نے لورا کے دھاگے پر پڑھا کہ آپ اپنے پرانے دھاگے کو بند کر رہے ہیں تو میں وہاں لکھنے کے لیے دوڑتا چلا گیا۔ مجھے بہت خوشی ہے کہ آپ نے ایک نیا دھاگہ کھولا – کرسمس اس طرح کا دباؤ پیدا کرتا ہے اس لیے صرف نواسیوں کے لیے خریدنا ایک بہت اچھا فیصلہ ہے۔ مشاورت بھی ایک عظیم فیصلے کی طرح لگتی ہے- جیسا کہ لورا کا کہنا ہے کہ کچھ نیا شامل کرنا اچھا ہے۔ مجھے بہت خوشی ہے کہ آپ یہاں پوسٹ کر رہے ہیں – میں اس سائٹ پر کئی سالوں سے رہا ہوں اور مجھے آپ کے تھریڈ کو پکڑنا پسند ہے۔ برائے مہربانی ہمیں بتائیں کہ مشاورت کیسے چلتی ہے – جب سے میں نے یہ نشہ پیدا کیا ہے میں نے کبھی بھی مشاورت کی کوشش نہیں کی۔ آپ کو ابھی بھی لیزبیت پوسٹ کرتے دیکھ کر بہت خوشی ہوئی۔

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Здравей Лизбет, Когато прочетох в темата на Лора, че затваряш старата си тема, побързах да пиша там. Толкова се радвам, че отворихте нова тема – Коледа създава такъв натиск, така че е чудесно решение просто да купите за внуците. Консултирането също звучи като чудесно решение- както казва Лора, е добре да добавите нещо ново. Много се радвам, че публикувате тук – от много години съм на този сайт и обичам да наваксам темата ви. Моля, уведомете ни как протича консултирането – никога не съм опитвал да консултирам, откакто развих тази зависимост. Толкова се радвам, че все още публикувате Лизбет.

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