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Slept for hours first and back in bed now lol

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I kept switching between screens and it wouldn’t let me type- I read what u had written there and eventually replies a couple of minutes after you logged out .
I am not sure but this happens on my phone sometimes.

So sorry !!

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Sretan rođendan sa zakašnjenjem Lisbeth. Nadam se da ste imali zaista lijep dan. I ja bih napravio mnogo promjena u svom životu da se mogu vratiti – čudno da nikad ne pomislim na kockanje kad pomislim na promjene koje bih napravio – mislim da su drugi izbori doveli do mog kockanja. Dobro je što većina vaših vjerovnika radi s vama – ne vidim da ostali imaju veliki izbor – možda zatražite razgovor sa svojim menadžerima. Sviđa mi se tvoj stav Lizbeth – dodatni posao puno će pomoći u tim financijskim brigama. Budite jaki!

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Happy belated birthday Lisbeth.
I hope you had a really lovely day.
I would make many changes in my life too if I could go back – strangely I never think of gambling when I think of changes I would make – I think other choices led to my gambling.
It is good that most of your creditors wi work with you – I don’t see That the others have much choice- maybe ask to speak to their managers .
I like your attitude Lizbeth – extra work will help a lot with those financial worries .
Keep strong !

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I got up and went late night/ early morning shopping – u gotta love Christmas – hard to distinguish between day and night lol

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Thank you Johnny , Monica and Laura.
Today I exercised my choice not to gamble – it neither feels good or bad , but is simply a choice I made just like many others I made today .
Laura, boundaries are so important. – and I think part of having boundaries is calling people out on poor behaviour .

Monica you are so right – I was hurt by regular posters . I was hurt that something I had confided in a group to two people was turned into a circus by those two people – and I believe deliberately so. It was cleverly used to set me up and attack me – but I do believe it backfired and I think they both know that .
I am very aware that no apology has been forthcoming, and my observation is that for all This bleating on about recovery versus abstinence – GA is simply a day numbering exercise – where greater number of days gives a sense of superiority rather than any of the elusive work on character faults we keep hearing about – again this observation is based on my experience only of the people I know in GA- there may be many others who actually do try to overcome their faults . Sorry really is the hardest word.

However , someone having a sense of superiority does not make me feel inferior! It is something that exists in their own little mind !
Couldn’t reply to chat – there is a Chinese group now – Can you go there Monica?

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Just woke up – missed u by 3 mins on group- will try again

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Hi Laura ,
Just thought I would drop by and see how things are with you?
Are you all ready for Christmas?
Is you pain more manageable ?
Missing you in chat !

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…and that’s what recovery is all about Johnny – not a date or a number of days – it is about having a better and more fulfilled life,- it is about progress! Great post!

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Monica ,
A small amount will make no difference to my life (I know that sounds wrong to be saying to you right now ) but might substantially improve yours just for now because this situation, while much longer than you hoped for , is temporary .
Friendship is about giving and receiving .
You are a giver Monica – time maybe to receive ?

You can easily reinstate your PayPal. Just a matter of getting a code sent to your bank .
We all deserve a helping hand now and again.
You have helped so many on here .

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Hi Johnny ,

I too found GA wasn’t for me – I hated when they went through the roll, then called on you to speak – I really had nothing I wanted to Say to a roomful of men – for others I know they love to hear themselves speak to I guess it depends on personality type. I also find it old fashioned and degrading to refer to myself or anyone as a CG. I’m sure if we called people with other disabilities or illnesses by that illness or disability there would be uproar.
However, I have also read of people who went to one meeting (seems to be a lot of people with this experience ) and tried others and eventually found one they liked – and I guess just because the meeting wasn’t for you doesn’t mean you won’t find someone really good to be accountable to there. I think you just ask someone to be your sponsor – ( not sure cos it seems every GA works differently ).

Well done Jonhhy on all the action you have taken so far – you are making huge strides against this disease.

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Today I may or may not choose to gamble – my choice !

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Thank you Harry ,
I don’t feel inferior to anyone !
I feel people on the two forums are treated differently by staff .
That is a completely different matter.
If fact I don’t think I have come across a single person on here or anywhere for that matter – that I feel inferior to ! That is why I can express my ideas with such confidence.
I feel my opinion on matters is as valid as anyone else’s .
I don’t really care if the “ga or nothing brigade ” agrees or disagrees!
I sometimes entertain myself by writing my thoughts about such things on here
In my busy world as a fulltime professional , homemaker, wife , mum , daughter , sister , friend etc – I don’t have much headspace for anything else never mind toxic people.
But I do like to express my thoughts on here and I actually really like the way I think . In fact I often think with my experience , skills and attributes I could make some great changes to GT if I were in charge ! (now that doesn’t sound like an inferiority complex does it ? Lol )
To start I would make sure that posts follow the rules for posting – and were not delibately hurtful or trying to knock others’ condfidence in their personal recovery .

However Harry , I do appreciate you taking the time to write to me . I have said it before – it just goes to show that what we write is not often the same as what people interpret when they read .

Maybe implying that I am “sicker than the sickest CG” and that I should “bow out ” of GT has some meaning also that I have missed and maybe I shouldn’t have reported it immediately to GT staff ? Maybe I have totally misinterpreted those comments also

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Thank you Laura , Lisbeth and Johnny .
Lisbeth you describe pretty accurately my experience also
Monica I totally agree that identifying ourselves by our greatest fault is degrading, demotivating and unnecessary.

Maybe I will go back and say my name is xx and I am a CF(compulsive fattie cos I have put on
weight )
Just imagine going to a weight loss programme and having to shame your self in front of everyone by calling yourself a CF-imagine lecturing those who gained a pound “you don’t want to hear the things you need to hear” . “It’s like talking to the wall”- imagine interrogating them about their barriers – “have you handed over control of the fridge ?”.
“Have you been honest with your partner about your chocolate binge ?” Well done on your honesty- now what steps can you take to make your next binge less likely- because remember once a CF always a CF. “give your partner control of your money – no money means no food ”
Imagine sitting in our six zero clothes and looking down on those who still can’t fit in a seat –
Imagine eating a a McDonald’s fry and having to number days from
Day one again or else be accused of lying .
The whole concept is so ridiculously outdated – I feel that trying to follow these ideas has held me back .

It also seems that the people who make it with GA kinda use meetings to replace gambling. They still give a huge amount of time to gambling – and maybe for some their ego gets in the way of actually supporting others -maybe one day we too will be so Sure of our forever recovery ( oh that sounds dangerous ) that we too will dismiss those who continue to struggle ” as not wanting to hear what they need to hear” .

Johnny – you nailed it – support isn’t support unless it’s respectful- lecturing and condemnation only serve to drive us further into the destructive cycle .
Gamble free day yesterday btw!

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Monica ,
I get paid on Thursday and I would like to lend you (I know how you feel about People giving u stuff) just a little to make Christmas less painful. When u get on your feet (and I know you will)you can repay me – it’s wont be a lot. Now this is a sign from the universe ! Do u have a PayPal account ?
I was kinda shocked by the response to your situation on the topics thread – if I knew someone on so little money I would’ve helping them out even if the gambled their entire benefit . I think you are right about The GA mentality – let people reach rock bottom and then they will get better .unfortunately it has been proven time and time again that this is a pile of nonsense – many people on here write of several rock bottoms and relapses . Some do eventually get there (maybe just it’s their time ) but for most their first meeting at GA does not signal recovery !

You are intuitive – you are aware .you have your walnut whirls and your wine – not a bad wee day !xx

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