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Lizbeth ,
Why are bad choices so much easier to make than good choices .
You are not a failure – you just made a bad choice !But I understand the horrible feelings that come afterwards .
I am (perhaps wrongly) assuming you gambled .I hope if this is the case that the damage isn’t too bad .
Lizbeth you are a wonderful caring person .
You deserve peace in your life .
Stay strong
XxHi Nick
How are things going ?Hi Monica ,
Your son is indeed a blessing – such a thoughtful and caring young man.
I think you are right about getting back out there – it will be difficult at first but you will see that you can do it .
Do you really feel fit for work Monica ? That’s is great news .
How lovely if your granddaughter moves in also – your life is changing and improving .Laura is a good friend to you on here – the thing with online so we cannot see others facial expressions or hear their tone of voice so it is difficult to completely understand what they are saying sometimes – I got the gist that Laura was worried you would starve and was coming from a place of friendship .
Monica your life seems t be on its way back to the way it was – how great is that ?
Monica you do deserve things – I have been writing a lot about deserving stuff on my thread -we need to truly believe that we deserve as much as anyone else . Why would we not ? And why do we feel we should not ?
Is that why we threw our money away ?I hope you have a great day Monica and I look forward to reading ” the path back ” to where you want to be .
Thank you for your continued and much appreciated friendship .
Ps. Flu a little better – such a bad patient !!
Hi Monica and Laura
There will always be things online which upset us or could be misinterpreted- because without the benefit of facial expressions etc we only have our own interpretation .
I have had some spectacularly horrible posts written on my thread , others threads and even a new thread started just to outline how many ways I am a liar. Despite all I am still here and still in recovery- all from a few people who have never met me personally (thankfully ).We are all quite vulnerable on here – we are suffering from an addiction and worse , we are suffering from the aftermath of that addiction .
Somedays we write better post than others and some days we receive posts better than other days . – friendship though is more than one post and I believe that we have all developed a great friendship based on mutual respect, kindness and helpfulness. The world and our addiction has pulled us down enough .The friendships I have built on here over the years have helped me get to where I am today – so thank you both for your friendship.
Ps Monica – think my flu has improved- staying in today !Hi Lizbeth
I hear you about the never ending flu.
Tonight I felt
So bad I wondered should I go to hospital and yet now I feel better (kinda).
These flus are horrible -but I am trusting Monica when she says they will go eventually .
Grief is a strange thing – I’m
Not sure if you ever get over the loss of a loved one and I’m not sure that you ever stop having regrets- I’m guessing if our loved ones had went first they would be going through the same feelings.
Lizbeth you have made many great choices / decisions since the death of your husband. You are a devoted grandma and a wonderful optimistic person, no matter what life throws at you.Hi Micky ,
Charles has posted a few times on my thread which to be honest I do find encouraging.
I notice other staff seem to befriend certain people and not others (and talk about their long friendships ) so I get what you mean.
But you have my support and that of many others .
You are doing brilliantly .
Don’t let this or anything else distract you from recovery .
Read my recent posts on being selfish – nothing or no one is going to stand in my way of recovery this time – cos you know Micky – we deserve to as much as anyone !
We don’t need people who don’t need us .
We need recovery !!!I am on holiday in Scandinavia right now – it is so cold !!
These are the great things about not gambling. We can enjoy stuff with family without the horrible counting of money going on in our heads !
Well done on 18 days !How come you stop gambling and play badminton – I stop and find I have put on stones and just want to lie about watching Netflix ?
When the good weather comes (argh I have turned into my mum ) I will definitely get fit!Well done Micky – treating loved ones is the best !
Monica,
Your friend has cancer – and if I remember correctly (sorry if I am getting mixed up ) it is a relapse . It sounds like she is lashing out – I guess her emotions must be all over the place .
She maybe needs to believe in this healer right now – she maybe needs the hope .She also will need her friend so I am glad that you two have moved on from your differences but can I also state I never remember you blaming anyone else or playing the victim.
We are all where we are today which is not where we would be if we did not have a gambling addiction- that’s something we didn’t chose and we had little control over – these are the cards life has dealt us and we are all doing our best to deal with them.
I have taken on board your points – I know so many healthy and Flexible people who do yoga – I feel tempted.
I made a decision to stay within the confines and recommendations of Christianity – it gives me a simple blue print for life and even though sometimes my friends go to see spiritualists , reiki masters and fortune tellers etc , I prefer to stay “safe”.
I dabbled in all sorts not the past and now I just want to live simply and not worry if I am “opening doors” to anything bad . It sounds simplistic and it is simplistic – but it works for me !Having said that everyone to their own. I was brought up catholic but find a lot of it is not for me and have refused to brain wash my child with a lot of it . He is now of an age where he can chose for himself and I know he prays and has the same simple but absolute faith I have . He may change and that will be ok too .
Monica, I guess there is a reason we should not discuss politics or religion with our friends lol !
So many different views even within a single faith .I like Laura, worried about you starving – and I also pushed you to go to the food bank – you however stuck to your guns and you have survived – so you were right all along.
Monica keep remembering – you are only a job away from a good life – it will turn up – keep strong and stay positive !
Xx
Yes Kin,
When I read your post I thought if we were perfect (not sure if you are Christian ) but we wouldn’t need God to save us .You have described my recovery also – I often tried to explain that even though I had relapses I still felt somewhat that I had never went back to the dark days of old .
Adding all the baby steps to find I have moved forwArd is definitely a great way of describing progress.
I am so pleased to read that you have got a place you call home and family and friends – the things is you might not fully have their trust yet – but you still have them – proving that they see enough good in you to stay around.You are a good person Kin- always self- reflecting and trying to improve .
The thing about addiction is that none do us chose it – others can indulge in these activities and never become addicted. We cannot be responsible for our brain chemistry or for something we didn’t know would or could happen .However as we now know we have these addictions we can take steps to avoid falling into the trap again . That is what you are doing. You are working hard to overcome these addictions – who can ask for more from any of us ?
You are doing so well Kin – well done