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Thank you Micky for your post .
I guess we don’t realise how much difference our posts can make to someone else .
You sound so positive Micky and life seems to be going well for you .
You mum’s anniversary is hard – four years is such a short time when grieving such a huge loss- and to lose your sister in this time too is a very hard blow .
Despite all you are working away at recovery and I know they are both proud of you.
Keep strong Micky and be kind to yourself.
Hi Monka ,
What I did is I rang all the companies I owed money to.
I told them what I could afford to pay and they accepted .
Sometimes it takes a few calls.
You then pay off slowly with repayments you can afford .
They will usually freeze the interest while you pay .
You could go to citizens advice and they will do this for you .Well done Thomas .
Is so hard at the start to resist urges but you are doing really great .
200 can buy a lot of cool stuff.Well done Micky
You made a great choice and thanks for writing about it because you have just influenced me as I was thinking of making a bad choice !
Onwards and upwards!Hi New life
I have relapsed so often I feel my name on here should be “the relapse”.
However , I have learned from each relapse – it took a long time for me to eventually know with absolute certainty that I will never win- because I will just return any winnings that day or another day.
Early in your thread you write about having rock solid barriers .
Has one of these been compromised Newlife and if so are there any steps you can take to reinstate it .I am suggesting this because my will power is weak and has let me down for years – my gambling blocker however is strong and is making it impossible for me to gamble . I guess I’m quite lucky that land casinos don’t have the same draw for me as online. My phone is playing up at the moment and I will need to change it and already the addiction is telling me that I can have a small flutter on my new phone . Addiction sucks !
Making a payday plan is a great idea – I remember that money hitting the bank account was the best feeling – I’m not sure if this was because I had been skint due to gambling or because I now had money to win back my losses (?!!!?). I’m here – so you can guess he that worked out for me !
Newlife – you have had considerable gamble free time in the past and you can do it again
Stay strong
Peter – you are not stupid – you are addicted.
If we were stupid we could not have sustained this lifestyle for very long .
I think it is important that you understand that becoming addicted is not your fault .
It is something which has been imposed on us.
Many people gamble and never become addicted .I felt that once we see this addiction as something we should not feel guilty for having- once we truly understand that this is not our fault – once we accept our brains are just wired differently than people who are not addicted to gambling- then we understand that we have to take precautions to protect ourselves from this addiction.
We need to protect ourselves – we need to take every step possible to stop this destroying us completely .
People have different afflictions in life – this is ours .
People manage and survive all sorts of things – we can manage and survive this .We deserve a good life Peter – and we will have it – we just need to manage this one horrible illness life has thrown at us .
Keep strong Peter .
Hi I have to ,
If you feel like a fraud I must be the biggest and worse fraud on here – I have been on this site for about eight years (I think) and I stopped gambling g again for the new year – I haven’t gambled this year so I am feeling very hopeful .
Well done on reaching out – I’m not sure how much help you have received in the past but my will power is not great and I have had to put lots of barriers in place which make it impossible for me to gamble- I have betfilter on my phone for example .
It doesn’t matter how many times we have tired in the past – this time we can do it .
I would advise you block all access to gambling in whatever way you can – then when you have weak moments (I have them regularly ) you simply cannot gamble .I hope his helps and I hope you really believe you can stop gambling – this is a horrible illness but once we control it it no longer can destroy our lives .
Hi Monka ,
Well done on recognising you have a problem and seeking help.
Do you play online .
If so can I suggest you buy and gambling blocker for all you internet devices – this will give you a bit of freedom – when the urges come you won’t be able to act on them. I have betfilter on my phone and I no longer have an iPad or laptop. It has meant that even during those crazy times when I spent hours trying to bypass my blocker- I couldn’t gamble.
It becomes easier with time – especially when you see the gamble free days and weeks building up.If you gamble in a casino, you can get self banned – this is harder to do as you have to go and visit the casino but worth it if t takes away the pain.
I too used to have suicidal thoughts after gambling.
It is horrible .Can I also advise that you get some help with the debts – I was where you are and have brought down my debts considerably.
Stepchange is a good place to start – you can do an online assessment .
Hope this helps Monka- you can stop you know and have a great worry free life .Hi Laura
I hope you are feeling lots better .
I am definitely missing you on here – you and your wise words .
Looking forward to an update soon.
XxMonica
Online is a strange thing .
I think I only really “got” how much your friend hurt you when I read what you wrote on Lizbeth’s thread. I misunderstood and thought your differences were down to types of therapy and your current circumstances. I didn’t realise your friend was getting at you for having an addiction .I hope you feel a lot better – this is hard enough without the people who should be there for us turning on us .
We deserve non judgemental support as much as anyone else.We all deserve recovery and a life free from financial worry.
I hope you are having a nice day and feeling positive about the future .
Did your doc declare you fit for work by the way ? I hope so but only if you feel fit .
Keep strongHi Peter
It is hard to accept the loss of the money – so we chase it with more money – and all of us on here have found the same thing – we have all found that even if we win it back we lose it again .
We cannot hold onto winnings and usually once we lose them we chase again thinking we can do it again .As others have said accepting the loss , accepting that the money is gone , drawing a line in the sand and stepping over leaving losses on the other side is the only way to recover from this.
Lik e Nick has said many people lose everything through no fault of their own- we really aren’t any worse off than them.
We are starting again after many years but we still have time to earn and save .
Debts can be paid off slowly with a good repayment plan .
We can all get there – it is better to get there late than keep gambling away out chances of financial security .Keep strong Peter. And well done on seeking help!