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Hi Lizbeth

This addiction seems unstoppable at times –
We all screw up sometimes in own way or another .
I find your post interesting as I feel there is so much missing from my life – maybe that’s what attracts us to gambling.
So glad you won your money back – makes the slip a little easier – keep going Lizbeth !

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Hi Alliesmum

All is ok – just been doing Mother’s Day stuff .
Hope all good with you .
I feel like I am going through a dry spell with posting .
Happens me from time to time .
Will be back to posting soon !!

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Great to see you back Monica

Do you like the job?
Or have you been well enough to decide ?

I guess work is money and money is freedom, yet work doesn’t feel anything like freedom.

I hope you are enjoying the weekend
Xx

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Hi Hingle,

I so understand where you are coming from.
I always believed the big win would come along and save the day.
It did come along but I want sure when to stop ,
So I lost a little ,
Tried to win it back
Lost some more
Tried to win it back
Ended up with nothing
.

Like you I have often had big wins – because I gambled big stakes .
Like you I always lost the lot .

I am
Now gamble free and yes I will be paying debts for a lot of years (I set up repayment plans with all my creditors ) but for the first time in years I have money to do things I want to do.

The big win is the myth that keeps us in action.
When we can let go of our losses and realise they are never coming back -because if we were capable of keeping them we would not be in this mess – then we can start to build a future that is free from all this shame , worry and pain.

We will not get rich quick – but we will be comfortable and live a life that’s easier .

Good luck

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Take the body and the mind will follow .

Exercise is the key to good health and many of us have become so attached to our electronic devices we forget this
.great post Kin

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Thank you Micky and Nick

Today I complete week 10(I think – getting harder to keep *****).
The urges while still pretty constant are weak – more like passing thoughts .
I have hosted a meal this week and you know my house isn’t as bad as I thought – it makes a huge difference when you are not searching for bargains to cook with . It lifts everyone to get together and enjoy each other’s company.

I still have some major anxieties in my life – I think they will be resolved in the next few months – but cannot stop worrying – thankfully I don’t have to add gambling to those worries.
Financially things are improving a little- still not out of the woods and won’t be for years – but am able to enjoy buying some non-essentials.
I also feel I am making better choices with money in general – I at last , respect money.

This site and the people who support me have been a lifeline for me . 2018 continues to be a gamble free year .

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Excuse typos – would not allow edit !

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Hi Nick I have the  will-power  of a newt and  I am gamble free currently thanks to betfilter on my phone . It is quite complicated to set up – because you have to block every site that can possibly allow internet access . For example after I installed it I discovered I could gamble on my Pinterest app. (Will power of newt does not apply to finding a way to gamble ). Nick , I could not rmanage without my smartphone – I need access to emails , to viber , to Facebook etc . My social life , family life and work life depends on these . I have betfilter – is my phone as good as it was ? No! Is it still functional as an iPhone – yes ! Have I gambled this year – No! Have I tried – yes four hours sometimes but could not get past the filter. The planned gambling may have contributed to your relapse -thisnis a journey however , and you have learned from this . No amount of lecturing could have taught you this lesson- with this addiction it seems that some lessons we just have to learn through experience – (that’s how it has been for me anyway ). Cash always works for me too as I do not visit casinos – . You are very honest with yourself Nick – you are self aware – and I have no doubt that you will beat this addiction . Well done on your honest post . Keep posting !

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Hi Lizbeth
Hope you got through the urges -just not worth it !

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Micky ,
Totally agree – it’s the little things that are important- even knowing you can get things when you want to . We have deprived ourselves for too long –
Onwards and upwards

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Hi Iwon

I know how it makes us feel when we gamble.
I know he horrible counting of money in our heads , the thinking about what the money could have bought , the reluctance to completely embrace beer gambling again, the debts building up and mind that’s can hardly decide between urges and regret .
This is so hard –
Give your self credit for both all the times you didn’t gamble, for your genuine and real efforts to stop and of course for your honesty – it is difficult to say I gambled again..

I realised myself that when I had gamble free time and I slipped , I wasn’t starting all over again – I was going forward with the lessons I had learned and each time I was a little stronger… and so it is with you .
You are not starting again you have just learned another lesson along the way.

Well done on coming here and writing with such honesty –
You help us all by doing so .

Keep strong .

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Hi Micky ,
Thank you for your post on my thread.
Can I ask what is DDD?

Yes I think about the homeless a lot .
I feel one of the biggest judgments I will face when my life is over will be “you just spent £600 on slot machines – do you know how many families that could have kept alive in the Third world ? Instead you spent it on a completely selfish pursuit , bring stress and lack to your own family and pain and shame to yourself . Can you justify this ?”

I guess it’s never to late to do things differently .

Keep strong Micky !

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Thank you Micky .
My kid now has the most expensive trainers in the shop (which were reduced to half price but still really expensive lol).
I keep thinking I have lost the plot but I wanted him to remember something that wasn’t bargain basement !

I feel kinda shocked at myself – that money would have kept me gambling for at least twenty minutes – and I would have thought I had cheap night – yet I keep thinking about handing over all that cash today – my thinking is stinking – but my kid looks great!

Good shoes had been a thing of the past in my house – no more !
Onwards and upwards !

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Hi Kin, I hope you are keeping well. If you laid a little of that bill could you maybe negotiate the rest and perhap stops the fee? Sometimes talking to people really helps . $75 is a stiff penalty .

I hope all is good with you . It is great that you have work and can live fairly well.
Keep smiling Kin

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Thank you Allies mum.
I so admire you going back to study – there are so many access courses nowadays that you may not need A-level- there are so many routes into uni – make sure you get some career advice !

Tonight I was ironing hubby’s shirts ( I must be getting soft ) and I thought he needs some new ones . I then thought I have to get my son some clothes . I then thought I need some clothes . I then thought what about my kitchen ?

I then remembered that if I had gambled last night, I would have spent hundreds – so tomorrow it’s new gear for everyone- And the kitchen will just have to wait another month.

I also made a substantial payment ( for me ) to one of my debts . I am trying to pay a little extra to improve my credit score . I had this idea of clearing my credit card (which I just got a new card for ) and just spending on it so that it helps my credit rating – you might start to see where the crazy urges came from last night – I am unfit to have a credit card .

Anyway enough waffle – time to sleep !

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