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Monica, your poor sister! How absolutely terrible that she should be made homeless. Forget MPs – it’s time to shame these shameless people in front of the whole country – get the media involved! That was most kind of you to give her money especially when you have so little yourself.

Life stinks sometimes . Money is power and money is freedom…and it reminds me of how we threw ours away .
How mixed up life seems.

I hope you feel ok despite these worries .

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I have just done the strangest thing

There was someone on here I thought was a friend .

I thought perhaps they had taken sides in a recent ongoings here and I have been quite hurt by their decision (which was not hinted at but not openly expressed ) to ignore me .

I know the people I have had differences with are essentially good people coming from a good place and I know they would never encourage side taking – now that I feel less hurt and emotional I can accept that misunderstandings occur and that some friendships are just best ended – even online ones . It may not be anyone’s fault – just things change, people change and the old relationship does not work any more . It’s time to move on.

So the strange thing I did is I went back and checked old threads and you know what ?
This person wasn’t really a friend to me at all – the friendship wasn’t really returned .
I remember spending over an hour once getting the information for a post to lift this person when things were upsetting them.
That’s me – I tend to do things for others and often it is not appreciated – well maybe that’s not true – it is appreciated at the time. but it doesn’t make them value me any more.

Anyway , this person is not getting another second of my headspace – I haven’t lost a friend. – friends don’t take sides against you – I have only gained a little insight into others and a little insight into me!

And I truth – I don’t need a “friend” like that anyway !

I need the Monica’s, Lisbeths and Lauras of this world !

People who know we will not always agree but can live with that . People who understand that there will be times things which are said upset us – whether it’s just our interpretation or awkwardly worded .
I remember when I was much newer here I thought it was helpful to challenge – but eventually I realised when we are down we do not need further challenges .

Life is for living – people who don’t want us are not worth our head space

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Greenwich time zone Sarah – that’s uk !
I enjoy reading your posts – very thought provoking !
Keep posting and it would be lovely to meet you in chat

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Hi Lizbeth ,
Well done on not gambling – those urges can be so strong .
I think it is very cathartic to get rid of possessions and even better when we can get some cash for them.
Long term friendships are the best – I still have some of my best friends from primary school , and although we don’t live close to each other or even stay in touch much , when we meet the years just fall away . I hope you have a lovely time with your friend .
It makes me think about all the friends who have come and gone on here since I joine d this site – I am unsure exactly how long ago that is but it is the best part of a decade ago. I hope they have all gone on to better times .

Lisbeth , when you look back over your journey , you have come such a long way ! I always admire your motivation to get up and do stuff in the garden and your motivation to be actively involved with your grandchildren
.
Life is good Lisbeth – and you deserve it.

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Come
Back to group ?

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Hi Monica
I have been looking up colour therapy and don’t quite understand it – I think it is shining different coloured lights on different parts of the body .
Recently I have taken more of an interest in this kind of stuff – I have been thinking that Christians always assume that this is not from God but in the bible it clearly tells us that God made light. I am rethinking and I feel that God might just as easily have intended us to use this light to help others as not .

Colour therapy I feel is very real – excuse my simplistic view here but who isn’t uplifted by the bright yellow light of summer ? How many of us feel blue when the duller winter sunlight is filtered through the clouds .

I’m not sure why you are not still intending doing the colour therapy – is it for religious reasons, or does it no longer light your fire .
You talk about being reborn and think for differently – I am starting to understand that many Christians pick and chose from the bible – some parts are the absolute word of God and some parts are their interpretation based on their gift of wisdom (or something like that ).

Colour therapy is one I could definitely buy into –
Look at how the lighting in a room can change the mood and in turn change how we feel..k

Remember as you read this I have no idea how colour therapy actually works in practice , but I do know how colour and light make me feel .

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Hi Monica ,
You said it – you are in a much better situation than you have been for a long time . Can you make a conscious decision to give yourself the weekend off (which is so much easier said than done ) and just enjoy the sense of having a bit of money – go to a coffee shop with a book and chill. ? You deserve a break from it all. Having said that I know how difficult it is to switch off from worries.

Monica I cannot stand when people who play the “I have it worse than you ” game . You are not the same – none of us are. This addiction has damaged more than our bank balance . Your friend has been dragging you down for a while. We are all adults and do not need to be told how to live our lives or how we should be – so well done on your assertiveness and ability to make that decision to end the friendship.
I have worries at the moment – the usual mummy ones and the difficulty in coming to terms with being a “has been ” in work. It hurts , it invades my mind a lot and it is making me a tad bitter as I watch social grouping take priority over ability and experience – but it is what it is . I keep telling myself I am so lucky to have a well paid job and I try to see the bright side.
Now my situation is nowhere nearly as bad as yours is/ has been but never once did you fail to understand or offer support over my issues . Your friend has not afforded you that support . We can find enough people in life to drag us down- (not so long ago I had horrible experiences on this site !!). None of us need that kind of support .

My advice (and it is only advice ) is take use whatever it takes to get by nicely without putting in too many hours- as for the debts – stuff them! (Easiest way around them!)
Your friend ( ex- friend ) is so wrong – we all have transferable skills and you have so many !
The right job will come along . The last job maybe was sent along to help you consider whether you want to work full time again.
You deserve the very best life has to offer !
Xx

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Hi Sara and Monica ,
I have to point out that I am struggling- a lot of days !
Sometimes I try to gamble but can’t because if barriers .
I still every few weeks try !
I have discovered nothing except that I am completely hopeless at beating this , so I have to make it impossible for this to beat me !

The supplement is 5htp.
I took it as part of a general supplement .
Google it an see what u think

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Thank you Laura and Monica .

There has been a huge change in my life – I cannot explain except to say that the compulsive eating slob who has taken residence on the sofa for most of the past decade is gone and been replaced by a motivated ” doer” who can take a piece of chocolate and enjoy it without scoffing half the shop.

So what has changed ? I have valued myself enough to buy myself a really expensive happy supplement -and although it made me very nauseous at first, I suddenly realised that I was off the sofa and turning my garden which could have starred in an episode of “hoarder next door” into a “beautiful tranquil space”- ok that’s maybe an exaggeration but I have achieved so much and am so motivated – it’s just not me ! Maybe I have been lacking b vitamins or something for years – I don’t know but I love this feeling of being like a normal person!
I guess if I hadn’t prioritised gambling I could always have had good supplements and my home and life would have been different.

Anyway – onwards and upwards!!

I

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Thank you Laura and Monica .

There has been a huge change in my life – I cannot explain except to say that the compulsive eating slob who has taken residence on the sofa for most of the past decade is gone and been replaced by a motivated ” doer” who can take a piece of chocolate and enjoy it without scoffing half the shop.

So what has changed ? I have valued myself enough to buy myself a really expensive happy supplement -and although it made me very nauseous at first, I suddenly realised that I was off the sofa and turning my garden which could have starred in an episode of “hoarder next door” into a “beautiful tranquil space”- ok that’s maybe an exaggeration but I have achieved so much and am so motivated – it’s just not me ! Maybe I have been lacking b vitamins or something for years – I don’t know but I love this feeling of being like a normal person!
I guess if I hadn’t prioritised gambling I could always have had good supplements and my home and life would have been different.

Anyway – onwards and upwards!!

I

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Sorry Monica – wrote that in a hurry on my broken phone – excuse it as the edit function no longer works in the site (on phone anyway )!

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Monica , life is too short to be miserable. He job and the travel
Wa s clearly making you ill and he fact you felt like an outsider shows it wasn’t right for you .
You will have a good pay check coming which will help .
Part time is a great idea- you can have good health and an income.

The great things about agency work is that you can use it on your cv and it is expected to be temporary .
I personally felt that the lady who said about your coat was extremely rude and unwelcoming .
People often use the concept of “assertiveness” to cover up bullying behaviours . I read an article on his once.

A few years ago I took extra temporary work – it was horrendous and I hated every minute because one person decided they were put out by my presence there. (I was a little too good for their liking !).
Eventually they did something which revealed their behaviour , and miraculously got warned about their behaviour !

I do remember however that it was a horrible time in my life and no job is worth it !

Keep strong – and your son is right about when we can control gambling – the problem is we are addicted so that will be …. never !!
Xx

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Great post Laura .
It is so good that your credit rating is now good enough to get a new car – that must feel really good. Once day I hope to be there too.
You sound in good spirits so I hope that means you are feeling lots better.
It’s so good to hear from u !
Talk soon xx

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Sou só eu ou muitas funções não estão funcionando desde o novo site? No momento, não consigo iniciar um novo tópico, usar o botão excluir ou editar no meu telefone? Sou apenas eu ?

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Is it just me or are lots of functions not working since the new site ?
I currently cannot start a new topic, use the delete button or edit on my phone?
Is it just me ?

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