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Thank you Micky
I will look that up .

Last night I stayed up until 6am watching tv- so now I have just woken and it is afternoon- what a bad choice to make .
Once again I find myself drifting rather than actively making choices .i really need to develop awareness in all areas of my life – I woke up feeling guilty that I had wasted so much of the day.
I need to take control of so many areas of my life !

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Hi Micky – that’s series sounds good -I will try find it.
I guess a lot of the time we feel stuck in life .- mostly stuck in the messes we have created .
Hope all is good with you
Xx

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Thank you Sara and Monica
I think when hubby is off work (like during the hols ) the house is just not big enough and I don’t want to do anything ! Today was good because he was working ! Lol.
I met a friend and we went for some really unhealthy fried chicken which was as delicious as it was unhealthy !
It was nice to catch up .
I also made a delicious soup earlier.

Monica – I feel I no longer have goals – I feel my working life is just filling time from now on – I feel the best of my working life is over – it is strange but when I stop to look around I’m not sure I have much outside it .

Monic. I think cosmetic surgery is great if it increases our confidence – and well being- I dream about it too ! And I would love to spend a month in a spa !

Not much else to report !
Ever present urges still there !

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Edit *Making that bank deposit

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Hi DG,
Well done on recognising that you have a problem and on seeking help . It is really hard to surrender your money and it is something I have never really fully embraced – it is also interesting to note that I am on GT for almost a decade and still struggle .
I have been gamble free for there months .
If I had handed over control all those years ago who knows what I could have achieved?
Sometimes the urge creep up on me ! Sometimes willpower isn’t enough or isn’t strong enough .

Well done on your gamble free time and on Laing that bank deposit

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Pa Happy birthday to your mum!

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Hi Monica
I’m so sorry to hear about your pain- it sounds horrible .think back to what you ate and maybe write a food diary – I always think roast beef is really difficult to digest and I have trouble with it . It may be the cheese or something completely different . Nuts make me very very ill .
It might be something you haven’t considered although I guess at this stage you have considered everything .

I hope u feel better tomorrow -and I hope you get your money sorted –
Xx

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Hi Kin ,

It human to be tempted and it’s human to sometimes give into those temptations . I feel you judge yourself harshly – perhaps because you have more self awareness than many people .

You have also resisted temptation for a huge amount of time and u deserve to give yourself credit for that . It may be baby steps – but it was you Kin who took each of those baby steps and pushed himself to take the next step .

I too am amazed that a book written so long ago can be so relevant today – it also reminds me that if we were already perfect God would not have had to send his only son to make success a huge sacrifice .

I’m not sure why we get urges sometimes – some people are very good at recognising their triggers – and I guess this would make it easier it avoid them

You have done amazingly well Kin and your thread inspires many .

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Thank you Sara, Monica and Micky for your posts .

Today I want to write about something that god n in my head . Despite not gambling I still think all the time about a windfall.
It is still the idea of the big win but it will come from somewhere else . I wonder could I have paid too much tax for my entire working life and perhaps a letter will land on my doorstep refunding it all .
Lots of similar scenarios circulate in my mind .
In truth I am lazy and I lack motivation- I could quite happily spend my entire life in bed !

If I had that windfall what would change for me? I’m not sure – would i order expensive take-away from bed

I always want the easy way through life- I need to lose so much weight but instead of getting up and moving I lie on the sofa eating chocolate and googling gastric band operations ! (They cost 4000-6000 by the way lol).

I think about going on holiday this year and instead of imagining great times by the beach and pool , I think about the effort in having to walk everywhere without my car.

Everything just seems like too much effort !
Need to force myself to move !

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Hi Laura
Hoping all is going well with you and that you are sticking to those speed limits !
Xx

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Hi Rainman
I am sorry to read that you gambled after being gamble free for so long . It might help to see this as a lesson along the way – a reminder that you need tighter barriers perhaps ?

As Lizbeth has said you have not lost your gamble free time – you have proved to yourself that you can do this – you still have 18 months gamble free time behind you – now with a few slips but if sounds like you are right back on the band wagon .

You can do this Rainman- you know that! . You also know from the past that you need to put the loss behind you and chalk it up to experience – how many times have we all lost a grand changing a 100?
You will do this and remind yourself that our have done exceedingly well in fighting this horrible and difficult addiction

Keep strong Rainman. .

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Hi Monica
This is take two for this post – first one disappeared !

There is something called “dry eye syndrome” and it sounds very like what you have – you can get free eye drops on NHS for it . Here’s a link – see what you think .
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/dry-eyes/

Work is a necessary evil – I guess we have all backed ourselves into a corner and we all need to work our way out of it . It’s not the nicest reason to go to work but needs must- i so wish we could all put the clock back but we can’t . I find myself thinking could we do something like Sarah does- could you get a really good contract for three or four months and survive for the rest of the year on it ? You do seem to be good at managing your money .

Monica you have done brilliantly to achieve so much gamble free time – you still have that drive to succeed and it will ensure that you will get that great job you need .

Have a lovely day
Xx

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Hi Jaykay
A really well done on your gamble free time – it is so nice to read success stories and so encouraging .
Can I ask how you have filled your gamble free time as I find myself often bored ?

It seems like only yesterday that Your name first appeared on the forums and look how much gamble free time you have accumulated .

Thank you for sharing
Xx

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Hi IDK,
I don’t have any understanding of the gambling you do but I do know that addiction stinks- it take over our thoughts and our time leaving is with little room for anything else .
Well done On seeking help.

Is there a blocker for this type of gambling ? Can u destroy credit cards or close accounts? Any barriers you can out in place to make it difficult to gamble will help to give you thinking time .

Well done on recognising that you have a problem and coming here and seeking help .
Try to find nice things to do instead of gambling .

I hope this helps and I hope you keep posting .

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Maverick
So sorry to read about your wife .
You are so right – when a loved one is ill everything else pales into insignificance . It so good you are not gambling and are able to give her all the support she needs – I hope your wife makes a full and speedy recovery .

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