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Thank you everyone for your replies . Money is important for happiness but we don’t need millions I guess!
I am back to work today after Spring break and I guess I have to go because I need the money !
I am not allowing negative thinking to creep in this morning.
I have had a reasonable amount of sleep (5hours ) before I woke up and instead of fighting to get back to sleep I have embraced the morning and decided to enjoy the feeling of being awake and relaxing in bed . That is one of my new gifts to myself – a calm start to every morning by waking up early !

Life is good – I am privileged to have a well paid job .i woke to my “new” bedroom furniture – I have a healthy family and I am healthy . The birds are singing outside my window and everything is ok in my world !
I need to ***** my blessings and start practicing gratitude again ! I am ok !

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Hi Lisbeth
I think maybe we need to refind ourselves many times in our life . I have always felt so privileged to do the work I do- not many people work their vocation every day if their lives – but recently there has been some shift in my thinking – I no longer want to do this work, it doesn’t bring the fulfilment it once did and I feel that emptiness – that lacking a sense of purpose .

Perhaps selling your house is a step too far but perhaps not !
Try doing this – close your eyes and remember a time you felt complete happiness and contentment – it could be recently or decades ago . Now stay in the moment and take in the sights , smells and sounds .what were you doing , who were you doing it with ? This might help you find what you would really like to do or at least identity what you might like to do as a hobby.

I came across a quote by Oprah today

“do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do”
Of course Lizbeth perhaps you are doing just enough and being just enough but with our self esteem issues we cannot see that ?

I hope you feel a lot more positive !

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Hi Johnny
I just read your previous post to Sara and it is possibly the most motivating post I have ever read . It’s amazing how 16 months has turned your life around completely . It gives me hope – well done Johnny and thank you for sharing .

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Well done Alliesmum . 36 days is a fabulous achievement .
Keep strong xx

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Kin this is a great description of gambling – 

i have fed the cat fat for too long and now I am annoyed that the skinny cat is so skinny and I am impatient for it to put on weight. 

This sleeping cat has has awoken and doesnt like how it’s world changed while it slumbered .

i love this as I can picture the cats so clearly . 

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I have discovered the real secret !
Wine and food with friends.
Getting dressed up and applying tan!

Problem
Is it all costs money .

Money is the secret to happiness – I am happy tonight – had an expensive meal and wine – and then some more wine ! Will struggle financially this month cos of unexpected expenses and will have to once again dip into the new kitchen fund !
One step forwards two backwards !

Money is happiness – we have been deceived all along !

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Monica – I think maybe the universe sent me a sign that I am to hang around longer lol. Cant really write about it here but after I posted something happened which screamed at me that God is looking out for me .

I guess I should ***** my blessings- but as we are talking about being real – they just seem less than everyone else’s !

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Thanks Sara , Lily and Paul.
Kinda another day wasted .
Heading out for a meal tonight with a friend I haven’t seen in quite a while
.looking forward to some nice food I don’t have to cook .
Can’t seem to get motivated today .
Really need visit to hair dresser but l have to fix Roots at home as didn’t get up in time .

Everything seems too much effort today . I need a detox !

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OMG, we are so on the same page it is scary .
Today I was thinking if I got an illness would I take the treatment as would to really matter if I’m here for another year or 40? People will grieve a bit and move on .
Why bother ?

I also feel so low in energy too – I think it’s my vast weight – why do I eat all day and get fatter while others run to the gym? I am beyond lazy and even washing and dressing is now an effort .

I guess I still have work (which I hate – my much loved vocation has become a noose around my neck ).

So I guess this isn’t a very uplifting reply .”lol.

Onwards and upwards

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Hi Raynor

I so hate the humdrum of every day life .
If you work hard your whole life you might own a house at the end of it – like what good is that ? Who cares when your life is over and you have been enslaved for ever paying for it . On the other hand I guess I am forced to pay my mortgage every month so some day I will have a nest egg- it will probably be taken by the government to pay for my care home !

Yes I too crave excitement. I want to be free to live on my own and I too would love Ito he my own boss.
However , I tend to be poorly motivated and I guess I would end up dying of starvation .

Raynor I guess these are the characteristics which make us want to gamble . We want excitement and freedom and ironically these are the very things gambling takes from us.

Hope you are having a great day !

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Yes Monica we are so in sync.
Maybe we both respond to that sunshine which appeared today . I also am clearing junk – lots of it !

It is great that you could help that guy with work – perhaps it will be repaid someday . I hope they pay you extra after among you wait so long !

It’s good that the anti-spasm medicine is helping . Perhaps his so the solution – can youtake it long term ?

I am tired now and I’m sure you are but I am going to force myself to stay up and force my body back into a normal routine… unless of course I fall asleep!

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So yesterday I ended up doing quite a bit – I sorted the junk room and put up a bed in there – I seem to be a little motivated – my “new” furniture arrived and it is amazing – I got rid of some old dated and shabby furniture. My house will get sorted – not over night but over months . It feels like I am doing very little but every half hour counts .
I am reminded today of Kin and his baby steps – I feel like the work I am doing in my house and garden is such baby steps – yet today I was able to sit out in a newly cleared part of the garden and enjoy that first blast of sunshine .

I find myself reluctant to get rid of things like old books – then I remind myself that I will not be poor again and if I need to repurchase one of the many books I am letting go I will have the money to do so. I need a clutter free space for my sanity !

I organised to go out for a meal with a friend I haven’t seen in a few years – she was delighted – we are going into the city and going to go somewhere nice – I will ignore my husband’s snide comments about me having a night out – he has plenty of nights out – and enjoy it – I have an clothes I can wear so that cuts down on stress . I really need to get some summer clothes.

Today even though I didn’t get to sleep until six this morning (routine not good ) I forced myself to get out of bed at ten – it is amazing how much the early morning sunshine lifts our spirits. I think that is going to be something I force myself to do daily – get up earlier – I tend to like my bed too much !

I am seeing snippets of what can be – I keep remembering Kin’s baby steps – when I take enough of them I will have come a long way .

Just realised I am into another gamble free month- still think about gambling a lot but thinking is better than doing .

Onwards and upwards .

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Monica I used to love fruit and now get hives every time I eat them !
Hope u are feeling much better !

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Well done DG

the first days are the hardest !

Keep strong

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Hi Lily
Firstly well done on going to counselling- it takes courage to open up – and the fact that you are open with your husband and best friend will be of enormous help to you.

It sounds like your counsellor doesn’t have experience of gambling addiction- I do think it is useful to compare addictions from a medical or research point of view- however the consequences of smoking addiction rapidly reduce after stopping. Gambling addiction can take years or decades to finally fix all the financial problems – there is such huge difference in the aftermath of these addictions I feel it unhelpful for a counsellor to compare . Also unless she is practicing what she preaches I’m not sure how she can help you with your addiction! Surely she has all the tools to stop !

I think Johnny has given you some sound advice – – perhaps if you see the counsellor as just helping you to rebuild you. I’m not sure where you live but gam care can advice you of suitable counsellors
.well done on your journey so far

You said it Lily
Onwards and upward s!

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