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Hi Kathryn,
It’s good to read that your niece’s illness sounds very treatable. Look after yourself during this stressful time .
Xx

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Hi staycg

Well done on everything you have been doing .
I had the same difficulty getting into groups recently . Try scrolling down to see all groups and going in through there .

Keep strong – you are doing amazingly well.

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I just downloaded gamban and to Test it was working on my phone I tried to get into three gambling sites I have used in the past – first two were blocked – third I got on no problem .

Feeling disappointed yet again !

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Hi Lizbeth
Due to my own recent gambling I have not been as regular in posting and have just caught up with your thread.

I am so sorry to read that you have been having such a horrible time .

If you were to extend the car loan for perhaps another two years would that lower the payments enough to help you get by ?
Would your daughter consider getting a mortgage and buying the property she is in? You could then gift both your daughters a large amount of money and still have enough to live debt free and stress free . Just think you could travel and do so many wonderful things without the constant worry.

This may seem inconceivable right now but your daughter is a grown woman who will cope with the responsibility , you could sell it to her at a reduced price rather than gifting her money – if the creditors become aggressive you could lose it anyway. You deserve a bit of peace in life – I pay a large mortgage and even in the darkest days I have never missed a payment . Your daughter would also own a property and that would give her freedom to move if she wished or even encourage her to move up the property ladder . It would give her more ownership and she could invest as much or as little as she wishes in her home . It is a win- win situation !

I think it was Kathryn who mentioned a vision board – I feel that’s a really great idea because it helps us focus on what we really want to have and to do, instead of drifting and acting on impulse .
I did a vision board once but it was in the early stages (and unaware stage ) of my gambling addiction – and I assumed everything was coming from a big win. I am going to do a new one – actually I think I will do a vision book! We could do ours together and compare our progress and encourage each other.

The reason I believe a vision board would be good for you is that I feel you put everyone in your life before your own needs – and it might good to focus on you and your needs .

Lisbeth, we do land ourselves in horrible situations with gambling and never seem to learn – go without money and ban from that casino you mentioned – close every door .
I have laura on my case about setting up my barriers again and it is helping in that I am hurriedly trying to get things in place before I meet her in group next !(lol). I did try to open new gambling accounts again last night but I was banned – I realise there will always be another time if I don’t have every barrier tight.

About groups- I feel you would get a lot from the open groups – I don’t think I have ever met you in chat but I would really like to . I think chatting would help you see things clearer – when we are stressed things go Around in our heads and become overwhelming . It is also kinda a free hour of meeting with friends without having to pay for drinks or coffee !

I think I better stop there- just Lizbeth bear in mind we have been in bad situations before and we always get through them – keep strong xx

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Hi Monica
I wish I could advise you – 100 grand is so little in the great scheme of the world and such a huge amount when we are the people owing it .

I think if I were you I would ring the credit cards and get them moved to a debt repayment agency where U pay what you can afford – keep repayments small and just let the balances come down over time – then you can write them off your over all debt .
– I have just received a statement from one which I have been paying a tenner a month to for around six years and I only owe £90 on it now . I have cleared quite a few This way – For example I have one i pay 100 a month to – it stops the letters , the phone calls and the stress. They will never harass you for more than you can pay – I have even had companies trying to stop me paying because they felt I couldn’t afford it ( that’s the tenner one).

That will mean you can focus on the taxes – but leave that for another day . It will mean if you get good pay you can make a few substantial payments towards them quite quickly.

The 12 hour days are hard- perhaps you might consider doing a course which you could study in the train – I know u love education. How about a language so when you take that four month cruise , you will be able to practice it?

Monica there is a way round this – start with the things you can do and then drag the others out .

I hope this is helpful !

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Hi Stay

I think maybe you weren’t logged into the site so you couldn’t join group.
Don’t worry about today – it’s done!

Now plan tomorrow – where did you gamble today and what steps can you take right now to stop it happening tomorrow ?
How you absolutely make it impossible to gamble no matter how strong the urge to do so is ?

Xx

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Aw Kathryn, I have just read you last two posts.

The first was so positive and full of plans and then I read the second and it was a reminder to me that we just never know what is around the corner.

Someone was looking out for your son in law and hubby during that crash – thank God they were both unhurt .

What terrible news for your niece and your whole family.
Life never lets us get too comfortable- it always throws something horrible to worry us .

I will pray for your niece and her treatment.
-such devastating news.

Keep strong Kathryn- and it is good you are not distracted by gambling and are able to be present for your sister and niece .

Hugs xx

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Hi staycg
This addiction takes us down very quickly as you have found out . I have managed different amounts of gamble free time and it is only when I have strong barriers in place .
This means things like a gambling blocker on internet devices, and no access to bank cards .
I find when my barriers slip , so do I !
Recently I changed phone and found myself gambling before I could put he blocker on.

You can stop and you can repair the financial damage .
Perhaps you would find it helpful to attend some of the groups here on a Monday and Thursday night.

Well done on taking the first step towards recovery and well done on your gamble free day – the early days are not easy .
Xx

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Hi Jackdandy
Well done on your gamble free days

I really like your thread and how you present your story – it is not wordy but yet you convey so much.

You are right though- you deserve so much more than the horrible life gambling gives us .

Keep strong

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Johnny
Great post !
There is no such thing as controlled gambling I guess when we are desperate enough to need this site .
I posted last year about some research which said some people could return to controlled gambling, and I thought about it but alas I am not one of this people.
I had a small relapse – one which I was able to get into check quite quickly but it seems to have really cemented in my brain that I cannot ever gamble just a little .

I guess if we could do controlled gambling we would never have found ourselves messed up enough to need this site .

I agree that being here is really helpful and the encouragement we receive from others helps too.
We know when we have messed up and to be able to come here and have people encourage me to forgive myself is invaluable.

I guess shopaholism is another addiction – whoever Said “everything in moderation” has the right idea .

Well done on making the right choices!

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I hope it goes well Nick .
You are making great effort and progress towards beating this and remember you deserve to be free from his horrible addiction. Let us know how you get on .

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Hi Kathryn
I missed you in group earlier .

Firstly could you paint your old tv unit ?
Or spray it with a high gloss spray ?
Maybe I have been watching too many tv show. I watch them obsessively as my house falls down around me.

I hope you get that tax bill right down – every bit helps .
I am also trying to sell a few bits online – but alas nothing of any real value – I need a major miracle right now !

Was the taxman helpful when you told him of your plight – could that work again because we all know it takes years to get over the financial damage caused by gambling ?

Sending you good wishes
Enjoy those grandkids
Xx

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Hi Laura .
When you mention morning coffee I always think of P too- I hope she returns here soon.

I hope your fall didn’t do any damage to your back- recovery from surgery is hard enough.

It good to see you writing on your own thread – maybe we will catch up in chat later – I have guests staying which makes it difficult to plan anything .

Xx

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Hi Monica
I kinda got mean with myself and wouldn’t never spend the money on the Wellwoman – interestingly there is NAC in them which is proven to reduce gambling urges – lesson learned ! I let go almost all of the helpful things over the past month or so .

That’s so good you could help your daughter out- it feels so good when you can do things like this .

I love shopping in m and s – I feel because there’s is so little waste it works out quite reasonable when catering For a small number . It’s another thing I can’t do this weekend!

Patience is a great virtue Monica -I am glad life is on the up – I love having nice clothes for work- as you describe -something comfortable which also makes you look well dressed .

You are doing great !

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Hi Bettie
I am so glad you are back posting . I changed my name at everyone’s insistence from “Sad” and I’m kinda glad I did – so you may or may not remember that.

I hope that the news is good with your daughter – it does sound like it will be .

I agree with Vera – it’s easy to say accept when you are not overwhelmed with pain and worry about your kids. You have been unbelievably strong in the face of such worries. I know people advise taking time out for ourselves but unfortunately our minds and our worries come with us on our time out .

We can’t make decisions for our kids when they get older – we can just be there supporting them, enjoying the good times with them and helping pick up the pieces after the bad times.

You are a great mum and gran- I am thinking though that perhaps you could find another outlet now that GA is gone – maybe a course, class or club so you get to connect with others and feels less lonely . Perhaps you could even start GA up again?

It is so nice seeing you back posting – keep strong xx

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