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Hi henno
Well done on starting a thread- it kinda means it can write here when you feel the urge to gamble – it might distract you from a while and remove that automatic pilot thing.

Yes there is a bright future for you -we just need to finally kick this habit .

Keep strong

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Hi Monica
I am blown away by Kin’s beautiful words .
I don’t know what a radio frequency facial is but I want one !
Urges have nowhere to go when we have taken action to protect ourselves .
I have got my phone locked down at last – finding my thread so helpful now.
Thank you for a wonderful and beautiful “cracked pot”.
Xx

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Hi Laura
Thank you for your post .
You are right – the effects of gambling are just not worth it.

I have locked down my phone at last – I discovered that I don’t need anyone to set a code – I just need to keep putting in the wrong code on restrictions and eventually I will be locked out for a long time – every now and then I need to update this – it a barrier – not foolproof – but locking down my phone has been the most helpful barriers in the past.
Is rod my current barriers have been set by putting in the wrong codes and getting locked out – this is so good as it’s fairly instant and when I get a new phone again I won’t have to down load and sign up for stuff .

I am seriously considering residential treatment – what’s stopping me ? Firstly – what do I tell work ? Do I pretend to be sick (well I guess my mind is lol)?
What do I tell family ? I’m not ready for a big confession (and never will be – or maybe I will when I have something good to share )
Is there any point in going when I need to build such a web of lies to get there ?
Would it really help? I found speaking in GA horrendous – would I be the same in group therapy? I think maybe I’m a kinda closed person .
I’m not on benefits So how do I pay?

I want to go and give myself a real chance at recovery but it seems such a huge step!

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Hi Lisbeth
Do you write down your times – can U claw back that hour- maybe fifteen minutes here and there?

You are too valuable to work for free!
You seem to like working despite the hiccups.
Another job sounds ideal but could you become overwhelmed? Remember paying off at a slower rate is still getting you there .

Hope your daughter and grand daughter recover soon from their injuries .
Xx

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Great news Laura – it’s a good reminder to us all that a moment (or two) of madness does not have to be a full blown relapse. Thank you for sharing with us. Xx

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Monica
I think it’s so important for people who are “making it” to keep writing on here – we never know who we will inspire. You inspire me – a year ago could you have imagined talking about helping your son to buy a house ?

I’m sorry to read about your friend – the options feel treating cancer are not very nice. I hope she finds a treatment which will work for her.

I hope the meeting went well regardless – it strikes me as very positive that your boss recognised to forget is unlike you .

Hope you have a lovely weekend xx

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Thank you everyone for the really lovely posts. I appreciate each of you taking the time to write to me.
I feel so much happier today . I had a lovely night out with Friends last night .

I have only had one gambling thought – to do the lottery -because I still think I will win it – so I am making a conscious decision not to do it (which is actually proving really hard). I never really ***** the lottery as gambling – it’s only a few quid, but giving up the lottery is really giving up “the dream”.

I will have to work until retirement age – this is a new realisation for me. I always somewhere believed a miracle would happen – and I would be living a great life with lots of money.
The thing is this will happen when I stop gambling. It will happen really quickly.
My salary has risen considerably during the past decade but my lifestyle has deteriorated..
I might not be able to retire but I might be able to go part-time if I wish .
I am starting to realise that gambling in any form is not the solution .
I have no idea why it had taken me so long to realise this – the easy fix I dreamt of has broken so much .

Feeling blessed today

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Hi Nick
Well done on your gambling free time- it’s not easy but you doing it . Keep strong .

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Hi Kin
Thank you for your post on my thread .
Vera’s suggestion is a great one -you write so beautifully- I always feel your writing is inspired by God- that you are sometimes his scribe.

I am thinking Vera’s suggestion would be good for others too- I absolutely hated having my name called out and feeling forced to speak at GA. Perhaps if I had something written I wouldn’t dread the speaking bit so much .

Keep strong Kin- you are a good person and deserve a good life .

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Sometimes a new perspective is very helpful.
Today I woke up knowing things had to change- no I woke up knowing I had to change things.
I am not sure what exactly CW said in chat last night but as we messaged I could feel some thoughts deep inside me shift.
I then read Craig’s thread this morning and again I felt strongly that’s it’s time to take control of my life . I look at Monica and how she has turned her life around and I think why not me ?

I have said many times that feeling put down is a trigger for me – I go straight from feeling hurt to the escape – the escape offers a fantasy that when I get the big win I will show them. In fact I have often got big wins but I have never shown anybody anything because it has always went right back. Yesterday I felt really put down -yesterday I gambled .

Day 1 – I will not gamble today .

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Hi Kin , thank you for your post on my thread.
I agree we need to change on the inside- giving up gambling isn’t enough.
I guess we are all find it easier to judge than to forgive. We are all on our own journey and each of us is a product of where we came from.
We can all be better people – removing addictions from our lives gives us space to work on ourselves.
Well done on your gamble free time akin.

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Hi Craig,
Well done on your gamble free time. I like how you check in every day – it seems to really help you stay focused.
I have just read your entire thread and notice how your positivity and your love for life has grown.
I also notice how you have replaced all the good we intend doing once we get the big win ( well that is my fantasy ) with action, like you brought your family to volunteer.

You are making amazing progress – I have found reading your thread very inspirational . Sometimes when you have been struggling with this for as long as I have, you kinda somewhere deep inside have given up the idea of ever sustaining recovery.
Thank you for sharing – we never know how many others can be inspired by our progress and it is helpful to read threads such as yours.

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Omg, právě jste popsali můj vztah s mým pošťákem! Jaká báječná báseň Kathryn! Dokážu se identifikovat!

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Omg u have just described my relationship with my postman !
What a fabulous poem Kathryn ! I can so identify !

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Och, właśnie opisałeś mój związek z moim listonoszem! Co za wspaniały wiersz Kathryn! Mogę tak zidentyfikować !

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