[Hunter]

Yes I changed it so it would all (rather than just some) go into his account. But Ive always handled his account as well. I know how to get into even if he changed the passwords and what not ….. I’ve done it for gambling before 🙁

I’ve just always been responsible for making and managing the money. He takes care of the housework, our child, dinner, etc. I suppose maybe I am just not ready to give up that type of control. But I think having our of all money deposited into his account not mine is a good start! I wrote down every bill that is due and how much so he will be checking his account to make sure it’s done and hold me accountable.

A reward system is a great idea. I think I’ll reward myself a little after a full month of no gambling. Thank you!

[Hunter]

Thank you for the support! Yes the guilt regarding my young child is a HORRIBLE feeling! Good for you for taking all of those measures. I haven’t gambled since my post. The real test is when I get paid again. My husband and I did a budget together for my next pay check. After all the bills are paid there will still quite a bit of money left. He mentioned all the things we should do with it like start paying off credit card debt from YEARS ago (my credit is horrible), double the car payment, pay off student loans etc….but thinking about all of that and figuring out who I owe what and how much is just too stressful for me right now but I’m hoping I’ll be able to sort it all out sooner than later. Part of me just wants to spend it on me…I haven’t bought myself anything nice in the past 2 years because every extra dime I’ve had went to the casino. Is that selfish! I don’t know ! Saving money probably be the best idea but I’m honestly scared that if we build up a lump Sum of money, I will eventually just gamble it all a way somehow or some way. Either way, I’m trying to stay positive and proud of myself for being on here and taking in all the love and support .

[Hunter]

Thank you for the support ! Was exactly does “excluding”mean? I’ve read that in PA, all it does is prevent you from being able to collect on a jackpot if you win but they still let you in the casino. I honestly never want to go near that place again but if you really think it’s imprtant to do it and they would actually ban me, I shouldn’t probably do it youre right … I wish scratch off tickets had a system that could ban me too!

[Hunter]

Thank you, Tina. That’s amazing that you were able to bounce back after 18 years! I couldn’t imagine living like this for that long…you are one incredibly strong woman!

[Hunter]

thank you, Laura. You’re right, I definitely cannot trust myself. The only problem with keeping receipts is that I only keep them to know I Can return them if I have to. Like I told Kathryn, I had to return my child’s Christmas presents this week to get to work! That was an all time low. Thankfully he hasn’t noticed. Either way, thank you for the support and recognizing that reaching out, was my first step I guess. So thank you!

[Hunter]

Wow thank you for the support. Your encouraging words and confident statements really did make me feel a little better.

Since my original post a few days ago, I’ve made a few steps in the right direction. I ended up telling my husband about blowing my most recent paycheck and being flat broke. I explained my addiction was truly probably 10x worse than I’ve admitted in the past. I was so scared to tell him but I was SHOCKED when he reacted when nothing but support and love and saying we’d get through it all together, as a team. I think he is honestly just happy that I am being 100% honest now. We sat down and figured out a budget and decided that all of my paychecks will be deposited into his account Account for now. I will still be responsible for actually paying the bills but I do all of that online and he will monitor to make sure every bill is paid. I’ve never been into the online gambling thing so I thankfully have no worries there.

However, I did feel extremely sad and guilty on Monday because i ended up having to return a few Christmas presents that I bought for my son. I needed gas money to get to work. But at least I didn’t use the cash to gamble in hopes of making a little extra before next paycheck. I feel so ashamed that I am fortunate to be a top earner in my company yet I’m returning a 4 year olds toys to get myself to work.

That’s all for now but thank you again for the support!

[Author]

Posts