[helpless]

I have not decided:). The thing with us, is that we divorced a few years back. Although we always breakup and get back together, I don’t feel so sure that it will workout that way this time around. Nothing scares me more than the fear of losing him forever. I miss him so much, however, in his texts he told me I should be moving on and forget about any loose ends that we may have. I don’t know if I could do this. I want to be strong but I feel like I don’t know any better. I met him when I was 20yrs old am now 34 and can’t seem to move on. He is also 14yrs older than I am. I am afraid he won’t change.
I know it takes time but I am so impatient, all I want to do is be with him and make sure that he is okay. I am so confused, one minute I want to forget about him the next am worried that I could never move past this.

[helpless]

Unfortunately, I am in the states and at the time of the live chat, I am at work. I do however, I appreciate your follow up. I tried reaching out, maybe it was my desperation to hear from him and asked when we were going to resolve our pending issues. He ignored me. I pressed and a couple of days later he finally responded that there is nothing pending and I can do as I please with his belongings, the car and to of course forget about the money he owes me. It breaks my heart, but to an extent I can recognize that his mind is elsewhere. He cares more about the gambling then the fear of losing his relationship with me.
This is obviously very difficult for me to accept. I have tried to put myself first a little and trying to follow your advise. I am spending more time working out and my goal is to go to the movies this weekend. It’s something I always asked him to do but of course we would end up at a casino. I won’t lie it will be hard, I don’t have any friends he was been the only person I confided in and I stop having friendships along time ago.

Anyways, I will give that a try and report back:) thanks again Velvet for your support and encouragement.

[helpless]

Velvet,
First and foremost thank you for your response. Reading these shared experiences gives me strength.
To answer your questions he did move in with his mother; however, he still left behind half of his belongings. I also asked that he leave the car as I pay for it. I told him that the only way he could take it was if he put it under his name and made the payments for it. To this day he has not giving me an answer about the car nor has he made an effort to pick up his belongings. I don’t want to revert to the same cycle where he comes to me only after his exhausted all of his other options and tells me that if I want to save our relationship, I must help him financially. I am getting older and I want a family, he has put my dreams and desires off to the side as all he can only think about his gambling. As much as I want to help him, and feel bad for him, I need to look after myself.
This has been such a difficult thing for me to reconcile. I don’t know how to move on. He is all that I’ve known.
I do feel that I love him with all my heart but I also feel I have done so much for him that I have failed to take care of myself.
He just blaintely ignores me as if we had never had any type of relationship, I don’t understand.

[Author]

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