[HammyH]

Hi,
Thank you for your comments Velvet. I am actually feeling a lot better now. I have taken action as recommended to me from members of this group. I have changed all of my passwords and PIN numbers for my credit cards and bank card, I’ve hidden my cheque book and taken all of my valuable jewelery to my safety deposit box at the bank. My biggest concern right now is that I have no idea who my husband owes money to. In one of our fights he said he was so disappointed in his friends because when he went to borrow money from them some said no. As I am seeing friends and neighbours I find my stomach in knots because I don’t know if he owes them money or not. They would be too polite to mention it to me – like my Mom and Dad although they know definitely not to lend him money.

Things are calmer at home now because he has no money for gas so he’s just hanging out in the basement. Coming down from his last binge. He keeps threatening me that he can’t make any money if he can’t go to work but the reality is he only worked to have gambling money. He’s an independent contractor so any money he has made in the last couple of years went to his addiction.

i’m just trying to take things one day at a time.

[HammyH]

Thank you so much for figuring out the time zones for me. I live just South of Edmonton in the same time zone. I will come to the next group meeting on Tuesday.
Heather

[HammyH]

Thank you Velvet for your very thoughtful post. As I read it I had tears streaming down my face. I’m just looking for some understanding and a way out. I got much comfort for your words. In answer to your question, no my husband does not acknowledge he has a problem. He blames me for wanting too much from him. It seems everything comes back to being my fault. I just don’t know how much more I can take. I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders right now and I’m going a long with a smile on my face for my girls. I have started to have panic attacks and suffer from depression. I just don’t see an end to this stupid gambling cycle, I’m so tired.

I would love to join the F&F group however I live in Western Canada and need to figure out what time it is my time. Maybe next Tuesday.
Thank you for your reply.

[Author]

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