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Another day I can’t bealive I made it to day 13 it sounds great for me .

I am not doing much today it’s going to be duvet day .
Not much to say last night was ok no nightmares but lots of urge .

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Last night was really bad had really bad urges yet again so what I did I ask my mind how much would you of gambled if you had the means so my mind said around £100 at least . So what I did was I brought my self two dresses and a cellulite socks which I wanted to buy ages ago . I used my creditcard that cannot be used for gambling so I slept happily ever after .
I still have nightmares and they are worrying but at least I don’t wake up every Morning feeling defeated.
I wake up,every morning since I stopped gambling as if I have so much to look forward to.

I know my addiction is really bad and I am glad I passed everything to my boyfriend to handle . I feel like I have more sense of control of my life like this .

Weather is really bad today so I think it’s going to be a duvet day for me and my son but we shall see .

I realised I don’t think about money as much as I used to do and this makes allot of things easy I sorted a payment plan for my debts so now they just pay for them selves and I just enjoy being happy .

I think this is what happiness is letting go off things that is out of our control and just go along .

I am in so much happy mood this morning god knows why .

Hope everyone has a great gamble free day love you all xxx

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Hi nomore56 and fritz thank you for writing on my diary really like your ideas.

I been very ill yesterday and today so not been here . I am still going strong haven’t gambled at all. the urges is getting easier to manager. I seen so much gabling adverts but it doesn’t seem to bother me anymore .

But I did realise that the adverts have one thing in common and they all advertise about winning big but I know now that you can’t never win big so I just lough at them and dismiss them easily.

I got another very busy day today so it’s going to be great to keep my mind off things .
Hope everyone has a good day today . We are all in the same boat but trust me we will all come out on top and say no to gambling and not feed these casinos .

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Mornning all

Another day is here for me , I am very ill today got worst cold ever for the past 3 weeks doesn’t seem like it wants to go .
I am lot more aware about casino tricks and the words they use on tv adverts . It doesn’t bother me as much as it used to be I just see it as desperate casinos looking for people to gamble well that’s def not going to be me for sure.
Have a great day everyone xx

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I was thinking and just realised that . I been stalked by casinos because I get these emails just after my pay day and the text messages too comes after I get paid . I also caught few of them casinos looking at my credit file so they know everything about us and try to lure us in to gambling . They look at our financial situation and know they can make allot of money out of us .
I also got strong feeling these credit card companies and our bank account sells our personal information to them hence why I get these messages just after pay day .
My motto now is get rid off creditcards completely and debit card and not allow banks track down how we spend our money in order to advertise stuff to us. Look in to it I swear I am not making it up. It just clinked on when I was looking at my credit file which shows who done search on my name .

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From your last post I can see you are in more positive frame of mind . Keep it up
You have done so well and you are going to do even better .
I just hope your new thread will reflect on positive things you are going to do and think.

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Thank you for taking time to write on my diary I really appreciate all your views and I do take them on board.

I don’t just get emailed I get bloody text messages too . I am having surgery nextweek so hoping to be stronger frame of mind to open a new email account , I just have to inform lots of people so it does take time and effort.

I had my tester session on online counselling earlier and I just realised I am one messed up women , I don’t just have one problems I got too many to tackle .
I now know why my friend are fed up of hearing about my health problems .
Adam I can’t talk to anyone about my gambling problem as I know they won’t understand the only person who understands is my boyfriend .
You are saving up really well Adam keep doing this and you will soon have your house . The problem is you need to keep it up and don’t let gambling take over .
I know it’s easier said than done so I am not good person to give advice to anyone .
I just been reading allot on law of attraction and trying to think positive so positive circumstances come and find me .

It’s a hard messed up life and out fears are the things gets us in trouble in my opinion .
I know I will never gamble again and this is it , I have to think about my sons future and save up for him at least .

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Hi Harry

I am so sorry I had to leave as the door rang and my mum turned up she doesn’t know about me trying to stop again as she thought I stopped ages ago so I couldn’t stay .
Thank you for your advice earlier for the nightmares and I totally agree with all you have said .
I am so glad I found this forum and on the road to recovery and I am so looking forward to my counselling session tonight .

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Hi happy thank you for your comment I know exactly what you are saying.

I sorted out my debts they are paying themselves so I am trying to not worry about them because everytime I worry about them I relapse. But this time I am going to forget I have debt and enjoy each day as it comes.

I achived my objectives this week , got nails done , hair done , treated my self to some flip flops . These are the things I couldn’t afford due to gambling so it’s great .

I woke up this morning saying to my self why haven’t I have shoe addictin or bag addiction but I spose they are as bad as gambling addiction.
Any addictin is bad for us . I am scared of addictions seriously . Now days when I do something I realise I evaluate. It .

This gambling addictin has scared the hell out of me .

Last night I took some sleeping pills to stop me thinking so it worked . I am now getting ready to go and meet with a friend for cofee .

I got operation nextweek so my nerves are not in good state .

Have a great day everyone and remember we are a winner because we stopped gambling . Xx

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I hope soon you will feel much better and embrace how far you come and how much you achieved so far whilst not gambling .
There is some great advice here for you and that book sounds great , I am going to try find the book .
I couldn’t go to the ga meeting as I just realised it’s Tuesday today when you replied to my thread . I was held captive at an Essex hairdresser they were doing a half price deal so I decided to use this offer and they kept me there for over 3 hrs my head hurts cus of pulling and continuous chemicals lol .
But I had a great day . I hope soon you will start having great days .
Please concentrate on your recovery you need to do this for your family and your self.
It’s hard as I am having really bad urges right now . I promise to go to the meeting nextweek going to put a timer on my phone. To remind me .
I hope all of you along with me will win this addiction .

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It’s evening again ,mi was ok last night but tonight I got very bad urges , cannot stop thinking about slot machines . I so want to play but I know I shouldn’t , I can’t anyway as have no means to access money online .

My online counselling session starts tomorrow afternoon I really cannot wait I so need this desperately .

I just feel so weak right now , I might try and sleep it off .

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No urges last night which was great . Got paid and paid all my bills got enough money to last me till next month .
I would of had lot more money had I not gamble so it’s a bit upsetting but I don’t like looking back so I am not going to beat my self .

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I realised than since I been staying positive about my situation
Lots of opportunities are coming my way , my credit card company decided to half my monthly interest saving me 8 percent a month . This made me so happy another positive stuff to keep me going in order form me to find the road to recovery.

I will not gamble end of that story now .
Any casino owners reading this just so you know you cannot fool me anymore or take my hard earned cash , I have woken up

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Fear and worry will only make it worst trust me tried that . I been battling for 6 years .
I came to where are I am all on my own started working since 16 got a very well paid job at 16 working with airplanes this motivated me to live study and just work .
I worked my way up to where I am now never claimed a penny of the state always been proud when I look back on what I have achieved I say to my self I am not letting the devil casino to take it all cus I worked for it and it mine.
It hit me so much this time because I am having to sell a inheritance to pay off my debt and it brokers my heart .
This has been the turning point for me .
But I am looking at the future and hoping to learn from this mistake .
I cannot be hard on my self everyday as I need to be mentally strong to fight the casino and not let them win .
Being mentally strong & positive motivations is what will get us through to the other side .
I will never win if I carry on gambling
I already won because I did stop

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Don’t be hard on your self things happen in life there is always light at the end of that talent .
Have you read about law of attraction ? Read on it it’s very interesting .
I am in over 40k debt we all in the same boat but we need to keep going , I do bealive there something bigger for us all in the future we just have to bealive in this .
One day we are all going to look back ok this and say this made me to get to where I am now .

Hope I am making sense . That roast dinner you cooked sounds lovely haven’t had one in months might pop to carvery this Sunday

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