[goingtoenjoymylife]

Hello,

Thank-you for your response.
Yes, I know that I have the ability to stop. I’ve lost about 20% of my entire net worth this year and that’s largely due to gambling.
My game of choice was poker. I consider myself to be an ok player (above average) at the lower stakes.
I would play tournaments. Most recently I accumulated about 4 hundred total between March 1 and 6. Most of which I’d sent back to my bank account.
Then however after a minor loss I tried to quickly recoup it. That didn’t turn out right and I tried to recoup that, playing higher limits than I should have.

In about an hour I’d lost all of my winnings from 6 days and and additional 400 dollars or so.
If I’d gone to sleep last Sunday night and simply appreciated what I had, it’s possible I would still be playing and would not be on this forum.

In any event, as a result of this recent gambling spree I decided to completely close my poker account and ban myself from the service.
I’d never done this before but felt it was something I should do to prevent myself from trying to play.

While I don’t mind poker, ultimately the game is boring – there’s a lot of waiting around. I have no ambitions to be a professional player.
I would only play because I felt a need to generate some income.. and as I said due to boredom – as a way to fill my time.

I haven’t played now since Sunday night and don’t feel any ill effects. Financially, while I’d like to be better, I am also not in a terrible spot.

I am generally optimistic about my future.
Gambling has had a negative effect on my life but despite this I try to remain an optimistic person. What choice do we have after all? We choose happiness or we can accept depression. I’ve dealt with depression and it’s unpleasant. So I choose happiness!

Finally I will add that I also felt guilty while enjoying the luxuries of western society and watching on television the effects of Putin’s war in Ukraine.

I made a small donation to the Ukrainian Red Cross after banning myself from the poker site. It’s interesting to reflect on my actions: I fully supported the Ukrainians in my heart.. yet it was only after a significant financial loss to myself I decided to assist them – albeit in a small way.

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