[frankie06]

Thank you both so much for replying i was also chatting to a professional on the gamblers annonymous website for some advice.
I just feel really sick and numb at the minute i dont know if i can carry on living where i am as the bills are a lot and i work part time.
I know its the right thing but i think he will turn it on me and tell me its my fault

[frankie06]

Hi thanks for your reply, i told him i would be in charge of his finances so the bills petrol and food were paid for. I told him if he doesn’t let me control his money then we will be over basically. I’m glad i did this but this isn’t the issue now. It’s him aling for money all the time and begging for £10 to put online to gamble. He says if u do this i wont ask again for anything. And when hes paid he said he wont ask for any money from it.
The reason i let him have the money that is left over is because we would get into a massive fight and he woulc say i dominate his money and dictate it and then in the end i give it him because i don’t want the stress and aggrivation to show for my 3 year old, it is showing to him because he will shout stop stop when we argue which at the minute is every day…because he has mo money till friday so hes asking me all the time.
Feeling down and he threatens me when i dont give him the money. I’m slowly realising i dont want to live with someone who drags me down and detroys our relationship.
He only says he will get help when he has lost £100’s of his money.

[frankie06]

Thanks for your reply Lee, it helps me realise i’m not alone and other people have experienced this awful addiction other than my boyfriend.
I know he thinks me and our son is his World and he told me when he admitted to his addiction. No matter what he says nad how much he hurts me or threatens to leave he would never leave us. So it would have to be me making that decision if things dont change and he needs a kick up the ass to realise what he could lose. I think that is the only way things will change for the better….
I’ve applied for him to get help filling the gordon moody application form online. I’ve added his email so i dont know if he will ignore the email or seek help, again i think if we broke up or i kicked him out that would only be the option but i dont think ive got the courage to do that. But theres only so much begging for money and pestering me to add money on his card to bet online that i can mentally take having to bring up our three year old son as well.
Thanks again

[frankie06]

I am in a similar situation as you, ive been with my boyfriend 7 years last may. He constantly watches slot machines on his phone. He has tried killing himself in the past three times that i am aware of and i was there.
We have a son together and lived together 5 ish years, arent married though and contemplating having a second child or getting married…i cry and laugh every day the moods i go through is ridiculous.
How did you manage to get your husband to get help with the GMA? How do i go about doing it or does it have to be the gambler and how would he apply?
Hope you see this message
Thanks

[frankie06]

Hi i can relate to your problem, i too live with a compulsive gambler and it took a year for me to be with him and fall in love with him before he told me his addiction. By that time it was too late and i’d stay with him regardless of how bad his problem was. Really naive of me i guess but thats what love does it blinds u.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 7 years now and we both love eah other. I gave him an ultimatum though which u might find helpful in your finance situation. He was gambling his wages literally 10 minutes of it going in his bank and when we moved in to a place i told him your going to give me your debit card and i will be in control of the rent and bill money etc. If you dont want to do that i can’t live with you and we can’t be together. He knew inside he couldnt be responsible for the bills due to his gambling problem. I also set up the online banking app with his bank coz i had access to his debit card and i was living at his address at home at the time after we had our son i lived with his mum and brother. So i could open his post and get the online banking sorted so i have direct access to his wage and put bill money aside etc. But with the rest oft he money left i had no chhoice but to keep some back for petrol, fags and other expenditures throughout the month otherwise id be left paying everything.
It has got easier for me in the last 3 years of our relationship and our son has brought us together. Unfortunately he hasnt seeked help and i think it will take a massive shock to the system until he does. He has admitted he has a really bad gambling problem which is a big step.
I hope this helped for you and that it shows yout not alone.
Take care

[frankie06]

Hi thanks for replying.
The information about his wage. I do take more to cover petrol and his cigarettes but i make out its all for bills because if he knew it was spare cash for his cigarettes and petrol then he would manipulate me for the money and he wouldnt stop begging me for it.
Like today he asked to borrow £30 off his mum and asked me to put £20 on his card which is for gambling online and said i can get the money back from his mum when i go over there. I put up a fight and said its not okay to gamble online and i dont want you gambling in the house then he would stop asking but then eventually he comes again pestering me for the £20 on his card. He uses his card details and he doesnt have mine on there i wouldnt let him. But after crying and arguements in front of my child i put the £20 on. I feel close to kicking him out but i don’t think i’m strong enough. I don’t know how to stop this awful stuff from happening all the time and ends with me crying non stop. I just want it to stop and i want to be happy.

[frankie06]

Hi thank you so much for your reply.
He is actively gambling and even watches youtube in the evening of people gambling on slot machines and roulette machines, i wish there were more persuasive ways of hetting gamblers to seek help.
I think unless i throw him out or something awful happens then he wont change. I pray he will wake up one morning and ask himself why he does it .
I save money now and dont let him know about it just so me and my son have a stable future.
I dont know how things will get better. His moods are always up and down….i hate living on a rollercoaster. Only time will tell

[frankie06]

Hi Logic55
Thank you for replying to my post.
Regarding finances and my partner’s wage. I have his internet banking app set up on my phone so i can access the funds as soon as he is paid and he doesn’t know his id number or password. This is fine and i have done this for the last 3 years or so. He is fine with this and i also told him if i can’t have access he can move out back to his mother’s.
Once i’ve taken the bill money and whatever he owes to people then he is free to do what he wants with the rest. Usually always gets gambeld hundreds of pounds from his monthly wage, which gets me down because we could be saving for a holiday or a new car or whatever. It frustrates me too because then he will depend on me to buy his fags and petrol for the car.
Last night we had a big argument as i agreed to lend him £40 till Friday and he demanded me put £10 on my card at midnight because he “wanted to play 20p bets on roulette until i fall asleep” well i just blew up. He didnt ask once when i said no he asked over and over and i wanted to sleep because i had work this morning. So after i swore at him and said im not living like this he called me horrible names and said i always dictate his money and said hes going but only went outside for a cigarette and came back to bed and asked again by this time i was in bed shaking from all the shouting and just gave in and put it on there. I cant even speak to him now im so angry i dont think we will last long. I want more kids but its not fair to bring them into this…..
Sorry for long story feel really crap.

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