[frankie06]

He asked for another £20 i suggested going out for a chinese and he blamed me for wanting to spend money all the time when we havent got it. But its ok if he has his fags and petrol paid for. Relationships are supposed to be give and take nut hes just taking and not asking what id like to do. Hes demanded his internet banking now saying ive no rigjt havin control over his finances and he said the relationship is dead.
Drive me and my son to go for a walk in the sun and hes pissed off at me for not smiling or been happy and for having a long face all the time talking to me like shit.
I was walking away from them and crying theough my sunglasses, the argument started off the internet banking and now because i suggested doing something or going out because we never do anything. I feel useless and numb and really tempted to just buy a bottle of wine to numb it out

[frankie06]

Hello,
Thank you for your comment.
We had a nice few days and were quite close to each other and then this morning he asked to lend £40 for fags and petrol. He said he’ll pay me back friday. So i replied to him yes ok as long as i get it back friday as i’d helped pay £20 towards something else the week before and didn’t get that back because he hadn’t been paid yet from his monthly wage. He replied with are you giving it to me yes or no? He didnt explain about friday and how he would be able to pay me back. He said find then dont bother and i also want my internet banking details back so i can change them. Saying they are his and he will transfer the bill money to my bank himself online. He said as well it isnt my money to have….. when it goes to bills so how am i taking any for myself??
I told him he cannot be trusted with money and i need to be in charge of finances so that the bills are paid… in the past he agreed with me because he had gambled all his wages and i was left to pay all the bills. Should i let him have the details because he will just have them reset and sent out in the post anyway….
I don’t know what to do anymore. Our son is at his nans tonight i was hoping we could go out together for food or drinks but obviously the addiction doesnt care about what i would like.

[frankie06]

Yes im focusing on me and my son. His anger is always visible due to his gambling problem and brings me down.
He hasn’t appologised for how he speaks to me or acts and swears and shouts at our son. I’m on the verge of depression i think. I don’t have family near by to visit, just his family. Feel low most of the time because he is down all the time.
Currently hoping to change my career and study a course where i can earn a decent living.
Just really cofused whats going on with my life. I wanted more kids as well but i dont think i want any with him

[frankie06]

Thanks for replying i replied at the bottom to the last comment and meant to reply to everyone.
Thanks
Frankie

[frankie06]

Thank you Logic,
My partner is off work today and was hoping to do something as a family, but his mood has changed…. yesterday was a good day, he cooked us all a chicken curry and it was lovely for him to interact with us rather than not speak and look at his phone constantly. Back to today, i am at the park with my son now and spending time with him and going to see his nana and speak to her about it. I just left the house because i’m sick of arguing and he asked for £20 and i said what for to gamble coz u havent anything left. He didnt say anything.
Please can you tell me how to protect myself from his ups and downs and what helps???
I really don’t want to break up with him but i think only time will tell though.
Thanks for everyones support.
Frankie

[frankie06]

Leading on from the last message about £20 that could have gone to me or his mum for what he owes us. Im taking more on top of bill money next month and saying the bills were more thats why im taking more coz im sick of been the pissing backbone and breadwinner when im part time 16 hours a week n hes full time n does all his wage after bills hav gone online. Im so upset please dont judge me about taking him bk i kno maybe its a bad decision but i dont think i could b without him and vice versa

[frankie06]

Thanks Logic for asking about me.
I’m doing okay. Only problem is i love my boyfriend and i took him back after two days. I was in a mess cryingf hysterically thinking its the end. But when i messaged him he was fine and saying i made my choice of kicking him out and making out he had done nothing wrong. I was the one appologising not him and now he is back living with me and my son.
He hasn’t said he will get help and to make matters worse he got paid the day after i kicked him out and he said he had only £28 when in fact he was paid £175. To add to this he withdrew £10 probably for fags and the rest he gambled online…£20 £30 60 at one time.
I secretly opened his post to remake his internet passwords and he has gambled nearly £300 in two weeks online.
I am upstairs in bed and he is downstairs.
Im fed up with the lies when i confronted him about lying about the amount of money he had been paid he said “see thats why i dont like u having my bank stuff u have no right looking at it so back off!!”
He had borrowed money off his mum to do the mot when he could have used the money he was paid with but he gambled that lied to me and didnt even chuck me or his mother £20

[frankie06]

Hi all, hes reset his internet banking details and hes having them sent in the post. Should i ask to have them because i need to transfer to my bank for bills and its usually £500 month i take from his account and its easier to do that because if he takes out of a cash machine the most he can give me is £300 because thats the withdrawal limit… and he cant be trusted with lots of cash on his card…. shall i ask for his card too or just take the new details and he can keep the card for whatever is left?

[frankie06]

He asked to come back the morning after i kicked him out and i never replied as i was working. He came over today to see Nate my son and he said he isnt coming back. Wen he stayed we didnt talk because i thort he was still angry at me for what i had done. I rang him saying dont u love me what about our family and our relationship for 7 years please come back and he isnt coming back. Do u think hes just saying it coz hes angry or that he isnt coming back.

[frankie06]

He asked to come back the morning after i kicked him out and i never replied as i was working. He came over today to see Nate my son and he said he isnt coming back. Wen he stayed we didnt talk because i thort he was still angry at me for what i had done. I rang him saying dont u love me what about our family and our relationship for 7 years please come back and he isnt coming back. Do u think hes just saying it coz hes angry or that he isnt coming back.

[frankie06]

Thank you lily x

[frankie06]

Thank you velvet,
I can’t find the 21 questions to download or print?
Its too late now hes not in the house now but i could still try and print it and show him. He went to a few ga meetings years ago but didnt benefit from them and kept going in the bookies as soon as he had money….
I’m just really anxious now. He has got paid tonight and im just waiting for all the evil messages he will send me saying how its my fault he lost all his money and then a few days later appologising for what he said and that he didnt mean it.

[frankie06]

Thank you i will definately be on the chat group. It’s killing me inside because i do want us to be a family and him come home but he will think its fine to call me all those names and do it again. What if he turns nasty and wont forgive me or want to be with me at all. Then i’ll be a single mum to our boy and i think im going through depression i dont want to leave the house or meet anyone.

[frankie06]

Omg i cant believe you did it for so long 15 years! Thanks for replying hes already messaged me to come back and saying he doesnt wana gamble his money tonight coz he gets paid at 10.30pm approximately. I know thats just his way of trying to come back and start all over again.
What is ur advice to me when hes asking to ocme back. I miss him but i dont want to be treated like shit anymore calling me names and saying he doesnt want me to dictate his money.
Thank you for so much support on here

[frankie06]

Thanks velvet,
No i dont have any real support here i stayed in wales due to me starting a relationship with my bf and came here to study originally. 10 years ago i have family in england and scotland so i only really have his mum flr support and my best friend who lives near by.
Im really lost now and feel numb. Hes already messaged me on social media and all i saw without opening the message was please clo. What do i do i need advice. He gets paid his monthly wage tomorrow wont be giving me anything for july for the two weeks hes been living in the house…… he will no doubt blow it all.
Please reply back

[Author]

Posts