Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
morning Lizbeth,
I’ve read your more recent posts and so many things jump to mind. And I fear sounding preachy which isn’t my intent as I have no right to preach to anyone! I can feel the kind-hearted person you are jumping from your thread. You just want to have supportive healthy relationships with your family. When it seems no one else in your family wants to “work” on repairing relationships I can feel your pain. I’m happy that your mother is wanting to spend time with you and it’s great that you are working on limits and boundaries with her so that you can spend time together. I remember hearing at a GA meeting something to the effect of “as a CG I need to lower my expectations”. Now that seems kind of sad on the face of it. But I can see when it is applied to this situation (and others in my own life) it may lessen a person’s sadness at not having things the way they see them or want them. If one lowers their expectation of family members and the kind of relationship they are capable of supporting, well that is a little sad too, but maybe not as sad as always being disappointed. Especially as we can only control the effort we put into things. I hope you have a merry holiday season. Ever think of volunteering with an organization that helps the less fortunate? It may help keep you in the Christmas spirit and out of gambling trouble! You are doing amazing Liz and we are lucky to have you here in this community. Take care of yourself Liz! Friends can be a family too. Hope you surround yourself in “new” family as your journey continues.Laura
I’m so pleased to you FG. Things are definitely heading in the right direction :). Awesome that your hubby is there for you. And that together you will overcome this. You’ve come a long way. Have a great weekend!
I love I can’t suggestion of turning a negative into a positive!
I think being a survivor is a great big precursor to addiction for a lot of us. Gambling for me anyway fills a lot of the holes created by being a survivor. But in a false way. And as soon as the reels stop spinning 🙁 all that’s left is a big hole and lots of financial carnage.
I too fear telling my husband about my serious relapse. He told me 6 years ago that if I put another dollar in a slot machine he’d leave me.
I hope when I get to the end of your thread you are in a better place.
If I had to put how I have been feeling into words, they would look very much like this post. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I hope you are in a better place. I haven’t made it to the end of your thread yet :). _Laura
hi Mich, sounds like you are making the next right choice. Usually we have made life so overwhelming ( by adding to the already overwhelming factors in our life) that it comes down to just trying to make the next right choice. One step at a time. You have taken quite a few, the debit card being the latest. Finding a good therapist that will put the focus on you sounds like another good step. It is not uncommon for the strong care taker type personality to succumb to gambling addiction. I would say that describes me as well. A few others here I know also. I think part of it is that no one is taking care of us the way we take care of them. I’m glad to hear that your husband is being so supportive and was able to step in and take over the finances. You can do this! Just keep focusing on the next right choice for you and your recovery. All the best, Laura
I have not posted in a long time. Too long! I can only imagine what you are going through. I will send a prayer your way
((( Kathryn ))). Take care,
LauraRecovery definitely is a work in progress. I think it’s harder to set new bounderies in old relationships. People have a hard time respecting the new lines we draw to protect ourselves. But I do think it is essential to our recovery to do this. They will adjust for the most part. And if not we then have a choice as to how much time we spend with that person. Much harder to do when our deepest emotions are entwined in the decision. Good to see you here posting and working things out. Something I probably should have kept up!! Have a great day.
LauraHappy New Year to all the members of this site, old and new, and to the staff and volunteers who work tirelessly to make it the place of support and healing that it is! As a CG in recovery I too look forward to the new year. A new year to say thanks for all the good things in my life. I treasure my family, my friends and good times, thanks to recovery. Happy New Year!
Welcome Bodeni to the site. This site was a life line for me when I first stopped gambling. Those first days of truly acknowledging that you have a problem and that you need help to stop are very painful. We often have that moment when the money/credit runs out and we have to face what we’ve done. So glad you have come here for support. One of the first things you can do to make it easier to stop is give up your access to cash/credit. If you don’t have money you can’t buy the tickets. Money is a trigger really. As soon as you have available money/credit, your mind will automatically want to go get tickets. No money = no gambling. Do you have access to a gamblers anonymous meeting and/or some counselling with a reputable gambling addictions counsellor? Those both helped me. There are many tools you can use to help you stop. I hope you get a chance to go back and read some of the threads or posts of other people. That may help as well. You are not alone in this addiction. It affects so many. But there is hope. _ Laura
lying or hiding things from our partners, family, and closest friends. It would be a rare CG that would tell their partner about every time they gambled and about how much they lost. So when our partners find out how truly bad we are and how much we have been lying/hiding it really hurts. Much like we have been cheating on them I would suppose. I guess what I’m trying to say is that his feelings are legitimate. But you are here, having found a tremendous place of insight, healing and help! So glad that you have found this place! It was a life line for me when I was drowning in my addiction and destroying all the really mattered to me. I was just twisted up in my addiction I didn’t really see it. I have been gamble free for 5 years and I’m here to say it is possible. To get this monster out of your life. To go days without thinking about it. And then mostly just a weak thought to be pushed away. Your husband will hopefully come around when he sees you making the necessary changes in your life to stop gambling. When he sees you staying home or going to a class instead of gambling, when he sees you working on this addiction, GA or counselling, those are some of the things that will help him to see you are really serious about changing. Those things take time. One day at a time you can make the changes you need to. What can you do today to grow your recovery? Take care, Laura
Good morning P, having a coffee, trying to catch up a bit. I worry too when I don’t see your posting. ((( P ))) I hope that you are doing ok, you and your loved ones. Thinking of you. Laura
ten days gone in a blink! Thankfully the urges have subsided. I look at them now like a stress meter. It’s been four and a half years since my last best. Lots of ups and downs in my life in that time. If the urges kick in and start to escalate it’s like saying the stress monitor is amping up, beepbeepbeepbeep… and I look at what’s going on, what’s causing it. For me it’s feeling disrespected by my partner, feeling the stresses of my disabilities, and the sadness and depression that comes with that sometimes. So the last ten days have been fairly calm as far as no life shattering epiphanies! My partner is on best behaviour and we will see if he has done any growing of his own. I’m looking forward to a long weekend of puttering and some time spent in the out of doors. Winter is trying hard to hang on it seems but the birds know spring is here. Take care everyone. ODAAT!