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Glad you are watching out for us Vera! I am apparently oblivious!
Hope all went well Monica and the dreaded procedure has passed without much notice. Your financial choices are between a rock and a hard place and I guess you’ll make a decision when you have decided. Unfortunately we don’t always get away from this addiction unscathed. I don’t envy you your choices. So unfair when we realize the extent to which we’ve hurt ourselves. Take care of your self Monica.
LauraA compulsive gambler never wins. We would pay anything for the buzz of the bet. And sooner or later the money is all gone.
Please don’t do anything terrible like trying another attempt! Your daughter would only feel worse. You are sick right now. Sick with the gambling disease. And like any other illness you need treatment and help.
I’m not familiar with the UK system. Please call emergency if you think you will harm yourself again. Please see your doctor to see about arranging addictions and mental health help.
We can get better. There is hope for a better life without gambling.
please take care,
LauraTerrible how this addiction makes us feel. I did things i wouldn’t have dreamed of. Make this your rock bottom Lilo. Read other people’s threads on this site, join the chats, talk to the help desk when they are open. Is there GA meetings in your area? Helplines? Free counseling? As far as your financial situation, I don’t have an answer for you. I’ve gone and borrowed money to fix my problems only to gamble that money too! Maybe your friend can help by holding money for you. I can tell you that you are not alone with this problem. And things can be turned around. We don’t have to feel like ending it all. We can feel like living again.
take care,
LauraHey 3Racer,
just had a read of most of your thread. Good to be in a place where you are starting to get traction in your recovery. Your post about the walk in the woods shows us just how much time we waste thinking about gambling and all of the consequences that it caused, not just the time we spend actually doing the deed! Counseling helped me redefine myself. Process old feelings. Helped the clouds to part and the sun to shine. I hope you get as much out of it too! Well done, stay strong!
LauraNo one knows YOUR story IDI and shouldn’t automatically assume that all problems belong to the CG. I call myself passive agressive. Because every time I would be mad at my F&F or resentful of his behaviour instead of address it with him (he would just twist it around) I would turn those feelings inward at myself. I try to interrupt the thinking. If I am have urges to gamble why? Is it an unresolved issue that I am struggling with? Then I try and address it instead of turning it inward. We know we want change and are ready to. It is up to them to adjust to the better versions of ourselves. We can only control ourselves. Keep up the great work, and yes this recovery business is work, a lot of self work.
No meetings showing at all! Hubby will be home soon and we spend a couple hours watching shows together so i likely won’t be around for next meeting. I might catch the late one.6 WEEKS is an amazing accomplishment!
take care,
LauraI was 34 when i started gambling. It only took me gambling 5 years to completely change who I was and bring myself to the depths of despair and hell. This is a powerful addiction. I had almost 6 years gamble free but it still called me back. I got complacent or too busy for maintaining myself in recovery. I am back and more determined to live a gamble free life. Immerse yourself in recovery. Meetings, reading, posting, follow up counselling. It is hard but it is worth it in the end! I will not go down that road again! I hope you hang in there!
Laura
How are things going Marta? Hope you are still with us! If not, I hope you find the courage to come back and post.
LauraGood to read your posts Kin. We just need to do the next RIGHT thing as they say in GA.
Your journey has been troubled but you are here to do the right thing not the next feel good thing. Just be careful you are not punishing yourself, by depriving yourself as that may just trigger more self indulgence.
So many things are beyond our control, how others react and behave for example, all we can do is work on our own behaviours and reactions.
god bless,
LauraHi Tyguy and welcome to the forum. It takes a lot of courage to fess up but I think you have done the right thing. Starting off your marriage with secrets would likely weigh you down. Hopefully she understands and forgives you but no matter what you have to stop gambling for you ! Keep using supports to help you with this addiction. Laura
still want to chat?
I will be at http://www.sfcghub.com/ for a little while. The gamblers chatroom.
LauraIt’s great when the universe seems to cooperate lol. Change leads to change leads to change.
Sometimes we don’t make boundaries in the life we are living now. Small boundary changes can cause ripple effects. Standing up for ones self builds esteem. I can’t remember what we were discussing today but I found myself having to forcefully set a boundary with hubby. Take it or leave it. Sometimes I go back to what i would call my care taking and submissive ways but it doesn’t take much and I reinforce my boundaries.
I will find joy in my life. Cooperation and compromise shouldn’t always be on my part. We can be different and still support each other.
I think we have made progress most days! Now if I could get a little bit of Florence Nightingale that would help with disability bit.
Keep on going IDI, Day 39 is awesome!
Laura
It often seems this world of ours is getting harder and colder. Everyone on benefits is lazy and just doesn’t want to work hard a lot of people think.
They are talking about creating a living wage benefit here that would raise people’s standard of living, no matter the reason they fall below. There are lots of things we could talk about, the world is definitely in a mess! But don’t let the state of the system pull you down.It was generous of you to share with the homeless man when you have next to nothing yourself. There are those that are wealthy in riches that wouldn’t do that. No matter what gambling has taken from you it hasn’t taken your sense of compassion or kindness. I’m so happy your money went where it should and you treated yourself to your gourmet cheese. Hopefully the next internet payment will sort itself out. Whether from a little loan from one of your sons maybe? Or something else might come along.
I know in my heart you are not going to stay down Monica. Like the phoenix rising from the ashes you will shine.
Do the best you can to take care of you! #1 priority is to feel better. Build up your strength.
I’m sure we put off an energy when we are down and out that people pick up on. Whether its because of how we feel or act not sure or if it just shows in the wear and tear on our face. If your coach sees an improvement already Monica something must be shifting.
We put ourselves in a tough spot with our gambling but baby steps, it can be turned around.
Enjoy the last of the fall weather.
take care,
Laura