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It is always our choice I guess IDI. Although most of the time I felt like I couldn’t help myself! It always seemed easier to keep going than to stop again. Although I did with the help of not being able to drive myself there!
I hope your shopping trip was successful and that you are not feeling stressed over the holiday. Having money for basics and the extras over the holidays must make a difference. I’m in group but have an awful headache so I think I’m going to go lay in the dark. May catch you later. Do you have a full day tomorrow or out early due to the holiday?
talk soon! LauraCongratulations on your perseverance. I remember feeling like this site was a life line and I had been drowning. Without finding it I don’t know how different my journey might have been. Maybe I would have gambled longer without the help I received. And when I unfortunately chose to return to gambling and needed a place to get support, this place was still here for me. I hope your Christmas holidays are uneventful! That they pass quickly but that you also enjoy the little moments that make life worth while. Take care Mark. So good to read your post.
Laura
Good morning Chris. Where you able to get your sites shut down? It’s great that you are talking about it with your wife and that she is supportive. I’m sure she has been aware of your gambling and your moods. As much as we try not to I think our losses and resulting financial issues cause moods that impact everyone around us. If yo u think there will still be temptation even with sites closed I would suggest that you allow your wife to either monitor spending or take care of finances with you so that she would be aware of any gambling. This was something I did so that I wouldn’t be tempted by access to money. It really helped with urges. Keep reading and posting. And have a merrier Christmas.
Laura
Good morning IDI,
I hope you choose not to. We know where choosing to has led us.
I too am a professional working woman (or was until my back injuries and problems led to a lot of time off work). I’m a mom, wife, homemaker, daughter, sister, friend. You wouldn’t have thought being all of those things would have left time let alone head space for gambling, but when i couldn’t hack all of the responsibility for different reasons (illness, surgery, lack of support etc) I found relief in gambling. A little bit of social interaction without the responsibility of it. During this very busy time that is most often more stressful on moms to make it special I hope you are finding ways to recharge your batteries.
Keep working on those boundaries. I think it is always a work in progress. There will always be demanding friends and bosses in this world but you have sounded very pleased about changes you made to these relationships.
Have a good rest of the day. Just on second cup of coffee here! Catching up. It’s been a busy week.
Laura
I’m glad you are fed Monica. I was meaning help with electric and food, but you have said you won’t use those sources of help. I totally agree that you need a job to come along. I’d just like to make sure you aren’t a skeleton by the time it comes along. And I don’t think it helps with your moods. You are stuck waiting my friend until this universe decides to cough up some goodness your way. Proper food and rest are needed to sustain you. It’s unlikely a big purse of money will fall from the sky before Christmas to allow you to shop. Love your family, the true light in the darkness, and allow them to sustain you through these tough times. Being together is the true meaning of Christmas. The rest is as you say, artificial and materialistic. You are a survivor Monica. Lets hope you don’t have to wait much longer.
Laura
Glad you are starting to feel better Liz. Nothing like knocking you down right before Christmas. It’s good that your daughter is going to take charge of supper. The money worries are the worst. I repeatedly lost money that would have made life bearable. It’s a shock when the “fun” is over and there is nothing left. After Christmas you can tighten your belt and look at some possibilities to bring payments down and your income up. You’ve stopped the bleeding. There isn’t any more money going out. With the ban in place you won’t go back. You gave yourself the best Christmas gift. Rest up. Laura
Drago mi je da se počinješ osjećati bolje Liz. Ništa kao da vas sruši neposredno prije Božića. Dobro je što će vaša kći preuzeti večeru. Novčane brige su najgore. Više puta sam gubio novac koji bi život učinio podnošljivim. Šok je kad „zabava“ završi i više ništa ne ostane. Nakon Božića možete stegnuti remen i pogledati neke mogućnosti za smanjenje plaćanja i povećanje prihoda. Zaustavili ste krvarenje. Nema više novca koji izlazi. Kad je zabrana na snazi, nećete se vratiti. Dali ste sebi najbolji božićni dar. Odmori se. Laura
I’m sorry that there is no room left for dreams at the moment. You must really feel deserted. You are right. A lot of people don’t know what to do when someone is in such a state. Because where does one begin? If I was there a care package would definitely be in order. I don’t pretend to know the meaning of this universe or why some have it so much harder than others. There are some sources of help but you are too proud or don’t feel you are deserving enough to accept it? I don’t like to hear of you not eating well. It truly bothers me. This addiction takes so much. I’m so so sorry to hear the pain and exhaustion that gambling has brought to your life. You deserve so much more Monica. I can only hope and pray that this nightmare comes to an end soon for you. Hugs from across the pond. Laura
just missed you!
Well done on taking two important steps in tackling this addiction.
Limiting access! Close those sites, ban from those that let you do it. Depending on where you are from you make get different advice on how best to shut down your access to online gambling. Blockers i think will work anywhere.
Finding a support system! All of us here are going through are own battle and recovery and support each other along the way.
Keep reading and posting.
LauraBest choice of all IDI. Choose you!
I couldn’t change all my patterns and behaviours all at once. But I just kept checking in with myself if my actions and boundaries were sufficient or if I was sliding back into old people pleasing ways that left me open to being walked on. Left me open to old feelings of being taken for granted or used. I have come a long way from where I was 8 years ago! You have made a lot of changes and progress yourself. Whether at GA, on this forum, or in other recovery “venue”, when it came to advice and tools, I kept the best and ditched the rest! Have a great day
Beautiful lovely Monica. I’m sorry you are having such a low time. Wishing I could send you a big care package. How does your family think you are eating? Are you keeping things from them?
So to keep spirits up, tell me about where you are going to take your next vacation after you’ve got your next job of course. Even if it isn’t as grand as some you’ve taken you will owe it to yourself to carve a little bit of money off for a spa weekend or even a spa day. A reward for making it through this tough time. I know it must be so depressing. Despair I would dare say. But please don’t give up. There has to be brighter times ahead. It just needs to hurry up and get here already. Call someone who loves you and remember that they would do anything for you. You don’t have to ask them if you don’t want to. Just knowing that they would must be a little comfort. Take care Monica. It’s middle of the night for me and I’m heading back to bed. ~L