[finding_laura]

Hey Jonny, good to see you are still gamble free in the new year. Keep it up 🙂 Laura

[finding_laura]

you around Monica?

[finding_laura]

Been meaning to stop by for a while 3Racer but things just keep popping up! Little things and family but I was focused and able to deal with it all for the most part. But anyway!

How are things going? Reading anything good at the moment? I am hoping to start reading again when I go away down south for a couple weeks. It will be good to get out of the cold. -30 celcius here where i am. Freezing. Too cold for getting out and attempting a walk. My lab is almost 14 so we are about the same speed and we both don’t like the cold. Are you are able to get out with your puppy dog?

I hope your Christmas went well. Thank you for your post a week back. It was really good to hear from you 🙂 How’s the battle been going with urges? The gang at work still talk a lot of sports and wagers? Let us know how you are doing. Can’t having you on page 3 now 🙂 Take care 3racer! Laura

[finding_laura]

Good morning Alliesmum

I’m glad you are finding support both here and on the GA site. Our moods can really fluctuate over the first few months, and even longer actually, as our brains chemistry tries to reset itself to normal. It may be a new normal but the mood swings most definitely do settle. It all takes time. And the only way to earn that time is a day at a time. We just have to focus on today and making the most of today in a gamble free way.

It’s hard to forgive ourselves sometimes for the damage we have caused. But your little ones won’t remember, or barely will if you stop now. You will build new gamble free and present memories with them. Gambling doesn’t just steal things it steals time. And not just the time we are gambling, but the time we are thinking about the damage and where to get more money! I try and get joy from what many would consider mundane daily things. There are so many who would give anything to have exactly what we do.

so links!

recent research:

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/01/170103101751.htm

here is the link for the site with online GA as well as other multi group meetings. Discalimer!! I have not used the site nor attended a meeting yet. I am just in the process of starting to look into myself. The friend that gave me the link said meeting are well run but unsupervised general chat on the site can be a bit colourful to say the least.

https://www.intherooms.com/

Another link I found that had loads of information is from the Arizona Council on Compulsive Gambling. They have a lot of very specific info on types of gamblers, the reasons why we gamble etc. http://www.azccg.org/

Lots of reading if you want it 🙂

Have a great day! If it can’t be great (let’s face they aren’t all great) let it be gamble free.

Laura

[finding_laura]

that you did Kathryn! put a little smile on my face that is. Unfortunately men in tight pants don’t interest me much either lol lol 50 hour work weeks and a cleaning job on top, ugh. Ok, lets turn that around. Awesome that you had two weeks Christmas holidays and great you have a job to go back to. Start dreaming about where you may go next holiday. Sky’s the limit! ok well it seems like it is lol. Love right back at you Kathryn. Have a good week.

Up early this morning to try and have a coffee in peace! I go to the doc’s office a little later this morning to hopefully get clearance to fly.

sometimes life is a struggle but what is the alternative?

have a good gamble free day everyone

[finding_laura]

Hi Hunter and welcome to the forum.

The damage we do to ourselves with gambling is horrendous. Kathryn has given you some great advice. I would definitely give over finances to someone else. We can’t trust ourselves when we get this bad. Not at first for sure! Or do the finances together and keep receipts for everything. Accountability helped me a lot. It’s crazy what we will do to ourselves all for the price of admission into the gambling hell. I hope you do find it in yourself to make a change. Reaching out is often the first step. Take care,
Laura

[finding_laura]

Dearest Monica,

I’ve missed you too but understand sometimes feeling unable or not wanting to chat. When I am stuck in a bad time with my back I feel like I’m always a constant complaining record to my loved ones and friends. I get sick of hearing myself sometimes with the same sad stories. People who understand can provide a distraction. We can find humour wherever possible. What about going out to a comedy with your son? One thing I haven’t heard you mention (and maybe I’ve missed it) is a girlfriend. Do you have a friend that you could go out with even to a coffee shop? Someone who is upbeat and would just be good to have a laugh with? Gambling made me isolate and withdraw from friendships. Your current poverty state may be having that same affect as well. I hope you can just find a way for human connection and a laugh. Ever happen at your GA meeting? We used to have a few. And cake with every one year milestone. It wasn’t all sadness and grief. Sorry Mon, rambling!

How to recover energy…. Well, I am on a few very basic supplements that when we are low on them they tend to affect our energy at the most basic level. One is vitamin D. The other is Magnesium Glycinate. Also, because I tend to take a lot of antibiotics I am on a probiotic which can also help with gut issues. Would a family member be able to provide you with the funds for some of these basics from a natural foods store? I found the magnesium really improves my energy levels and I notice when I’m not taking it within a few days. Trying to get yourself into a more proper sleep rythym may help as well. Sleeping through most of the daylight and being up all night probably has an affect as well.

I’ve been trying to get this post out since yesterday! I hope you are doing ok Monica. Your stomach issue sounds on the nastier side. Don’t let it go too long without intervention. Thinking of you.

Laura

[finding_laura]

I’m having a couple of days where aggravations keep popping up and I feel like I’ve been dealing with everybody else in my family’s issues! But that is family. In my case I’m very lucky that I get a lot of support from the women in my family. So when mom is having a rare bad day I shouldn’t really complain at all. Nothing I want to go into here but just meant I haven’t been around here much since Friday night. And I like to support others.

My Friday night was fine. I’ve been having some bad back days so honestly I would have cancelled if it hadn’t been so long since I’ve last seen her. We just went somewhere near by and had a drink. Really nice visit and I was home by 9:30. I was out last night but just for a couple hours to see friends. They ended up having an unplanned social gathering as several more stopped by. I couldn’t stay and I sooo wanted to. But my back just wouldn’t take it. So home I came to pout. Took a pain killer and lathered on the pain rub and to bed with my heating pad to watch tv. I’m going to have to save for one of those fancy adjustable beds!

Anyway, sorry to those I have missed and would like to have posted to. Stay strong everyone.

Laura

[finding_laura]

Great to meet you Alliesmum today in chat! You have already taken on board some of the most helpful suggestions and applied them. Self banning and giving over control of finances can help a lot with urges, not to mention the self damage it saves us from. As you keep working on your recovery, so important for yourself and your young family, hopefully you will find the urges to gamble lessening and will be excited by your progress made and the possibilities not gambling can bring to our life. Well done on all your steps so far! There is no need to be perfect here in our recovery. Most of us are striving for progress with our recovery. The journey often isn’t straight and can be bumpy by times but we just try and help each other through it.

Welcome to the forum. I will do my best to post some promised links over the next day or so. Take care,
Laura

[finding_laura]

Hi EJ, welcome to the forum. It is good that you have recognized all of this already. It sounds like you’ve done a lot of soul searching about the problem, what may of caused it in the beginning, and how it is now a problem in it’s own right.

Once we cross the invisible line and become a compulsive gambler, someone who has a hard time stopping, and bets uncontrollably, causing all sorts of damage, we cannot go back to being casual gamblers for fun. It just doesn’t seem to be something that reverses. For me the only option was to completely stop. And to find joy in every day things.

Perhaps you could talk to the helpline here. They may have some suggestions on counseling for your past traumatic experiences.

I think you are saying all the right things EJ. Just remember, when we get urges or crave the gambling our commons sense just seems to go out the window. It’s good especially in the beginning to put things in place that prevent you from gambling your own money. Any way to tie up your money? Start a special savings account that requires two signatures to get the money, yours and your girlfriends maybe? Then you can transfer funds out of your account you can access. Just some thoughts. I’m sure others here will have ideas as well.

Keep reading and posting. It can truly help.

Laura

[finding_laura]

Happy New Year Paul! I hope you are enjoying your new car. I love to see your name pop up on GT. Thanks for sharing your story to help others. Wishing you much happiness.

Laura

[finding_laura]

Hi IDI, hope first day back hasn’t been too torturous!

you are right. Windfall’s don’t have to come from gambling. And if we are out of control when they come we spend them all gambling. I know at some point in my future, hopefully not for a long long time, I will inherit some money. Not crazy money, but enough to give me a decent old age. I don’t want to be the crazy old lady gambler sitting at the slot in her diaper! And not because i’d need one. There is no shame in that.

Travel is what I want to do some day. When my sons settle into their own lives and leave the nest I’d like to start saving to travel. And that should be in the next year or two. hopefully lol

I like that, is that from the bible?

I think I’ll treat myself to some extra spending money on my trip. I’m going south for a couple weeks. Only two weeks until my trip 🙂

If I have power I’ll be around 10pm group. Just a few minutes late as usual.

take care xo

[finding_laura]

Cold and flu season seems to be worse this year already. I hope you all soon feel better.

Being broke and dealing with creditors IS a very humbling experience. Throughout my life I’ve had personal experiences with poverty living. Some my own and some friends over the years. Before my gambling days and once I had a decent job secured I helped as much as I could, just as my family had helped me. It feels good to be in that position again. Makes a person realize what stress day to day life is for a lot of people. Here it’s because we gambled. For some it is just their circumstance. 4 months can be a long time in some ways Liz but you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Keep your eye on that and say no to any urges.

Rest up!
Laura

[finding_laura]

Thankyou all for your posts. You are all really very kind! Bad mood has passed.

I’m over my fall for the most part. Got a lovely big bruise and couldn’t hardly move my arm for a few days. Physical therapist treated my big bruise with a laser yesterday and it felt much better fairly quickly.

Still some friction between hubby and I. I have to take care of me by doing less. And I refuse to live in a pig stye. So he can either clean after he cooks or eat a sandwich! Or get his sons on board to do dishes after supper! I just feel like I need simple right now. Kathryn our fellas always were like twins!

So I received a little windfall. Unexpected adjustment to my previous disability amount that went back a ways. I still don’t trust that it is mine! So saving most of it for now. There is hope people. Gambling did not pop into my mind when i found out it is supposed to be mine. Instead I thought instantly of how I could pay off my credit card and help my son with tuition. I sent an old work mate who is really struggling money to put heating fuel in the tank. Big storm coming and we’ve had frigid temps here. Should get her through a few weeks anyway. Very expensive to heat here. It made me feel good to do it for her. People shouldn’t be struggling not to freeze! And a child in the house as well.

So today I’m just home. The business taxes still need to be finished. The bulk of them left to do. But i have made progress sorting out my clothes and my bedroom. Hoping to do some catching up here as well. Take care my friends. Its a new day. Lets make it a gamble free one.

Laura

[finding_laura]

Very lovely post Johnny!

During my time here at GT which goes back to 2007, I have had opportunity to meet a lot of people who paid a heavy price to this addiction. It never ceases to amaze me how people who can be down and hurting will reach out to lift another up. Thanks for your contributions Johnny. Thanks to all who are here supporting. Laura

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