[finding_laura]

Too funny Kathryn, I hope the pancakes taste ok! I’m the worst cook. Mostly I think because i get distracted. But the cooking skills are barely there, nothing ever seems to turn out as it should. 3 ingredients is about what i can handle! I’m planning a very lazy day today! I slept for almost 14 hours last night , i should be well rested! Have a good week in work. You are doing amazing Kathryn! thanks for the post xo

[finding_laura]

Thanks for both your posts today IDI. I had a very busy day for me yesterday and over extended myself. So today was a short trip to the city in the morning with my sister, home in the early afternoon to prepare supper and then I conked. Just woke up now but am going back to bed. I’m glad it isn’t going to impact your recovery, that is what is important! Maybe we will catch up tomorrow some time. I can honestly say I have made some very very meaningful connections here. It does give a place to belong and a core group of supporters who will always be routing for your recovery. Where you should be able to share no matter what. This recovery business takes time effort and support. I know you can do this! Perhaps I should post this on your thread,but i wanted to reply first. I’ll read your response on your thread tomorrow with a fresh mind and maybe after a coffee or two 🙂 Good night

[finding_laura]

Hey 3racer, hoping everything is ok with you. Haven’t seen or heard from you in a while. Take care and pop us a post when you can. Laura

[finding_laura]

thank you Kin for your reminder that this is an addiction and as an ex addict, a recovering addict there is nothing wrong with having life issues , it will all be in how I handle them. Thank you for the powerful quotes and its true. I’ve read similar things as well. Will I sit down to the rhythmic zone? No I refuse to have that first bet. Going out to friends for a couple drinks. I napped all afternoon as was exhausted from the days tasks. One day at a time right now. Just one day.

[finding_laura]

I am working through relationship issues. I would have thought after three decades we would have this figured out by now. But the key word is we. I had some very serious words for my husband yesterday and I know he heard what I said, listened and processed, and is making efforts at the moment. This is in addition to a few of these conversations recently. I am going to be completely laid up with surgery. I won’t be made feel useless and a burden.

I’m saying this here because in the past this has been a huge trigger for me. As soon as physically capable of sitting I would find a slot machine for a few hours.

I will speak my truth and either his behaviour changes or mine will. And I’ll be d@mned if I’m going to escape again.

Laura

[finding_laura]

So good when we can see a light and know there is a way out of the tunnel 🙂

Gambling was an escape for me, a release, a way to handle the pressure of my life and my personal situation. I’m a very strong person but everyone needs support.

I just remembered a link that I had found helpful when I was in early days of recovery. Worth reading again myself. More and more they are finding out that our brain behaves the same as someone with a drug addiction. These apply to us as well.

https://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm

Stay strong, you can do this!

Laura

[finding_laura]

That’s not a coward, that’s giving you both time to get used to the idea and for him to find a place. You’ve been quite kind and generous over the years (and speaking as a totally outward view looking in) you owe this man absolutely nothing. So you are doing the right normal thing.

I’m glad something feels better love cause you are due some victories. Keep thinking that. I’m due victories. I am due blessings.

And you have taken a bunch of steps forward. Hard to do when feeling so ill. You are getting through. Some day you will get through all this and you will be amazed looking back.

I hope the doc orders you some tests asap. Between the doggie who probably hasn’t seen a vet in a while and maybe some of your travels could be a possibility? Good to be checked thoroughly for those odd sort of things.

You are up earlier today? Hope you have a good day.

Laura xo

[finding_laura]

P.S.

I’m glad you took your own advice and “stopped digging”!

I also like Geordie’s advice. No relapse is inevitable. My first bet is always a choice. I remind myself of that every time a thought pops into my head. I have a choice. Once that first bet is placed I don’t honestly know where I would end up.

take care Kin

[finding_laura]

I hear you Kin! Short memory!

Why would we want to go back to that dark hellish place of full blown gambling and all of it’s terrible consequences?

It is a artificial sense of excitement this sense of “winning” and the possibility of it. Was does it do? For our physical and spiritual being? It usually deprives by stealing all the focus and resources that should be devoted to our self and not one little addictive part of our brain that is running the show.

Your journal and thoughts help me greatly Kin to see how to put recovery into practice.

I’m sorry for your lapse but you know where this will take you and I’m glad you are back here. Have a gamble free day.

Laura

[finding_laura]

Morning Liz!
It’s been a little bit since I was able to catch up with you. I’m glad you are finally feeling better. That was a long haul!

They have some beautiful electric and propane fireplaces now. Definitely something to put on the wish list for the future. Nice to feel like a future without gambling and it’s consequences is a real possibility. One saved for, earned and enjoyed. You have made so many changes in the past month. Making all sorts of connections yourself. You are an example to your daughters. And to your mother. She may never change but don’t doubt the fact that there are changes in you that may spark some slight awareness in her before her death.

I’m really proud of you Liz! Which may not really mean anything as after all I’m kinda a strange sort of pen pal! But I hope you are really proud of yourself too. Sometimes it takes a long time to figure out what to change or how but you have found your groove!

Have a good day Liz. You’ve made sure it will be gamble free. Laura

[finding_laura]

Sorry If I upset you Monica. I guess I don’t understand the set up there. Councils are not involved in taxes here unless you own. There is no tax on rentals here. Exempt. I thought they may be attached to the home like our taxes are here, and that would complicate matters for your son taking over.

Here you can receive that label on a temporary basis while going through a major breakdown even and perhaps especially if it is related to an addiction. And who would know that label? Health info should be private, unless your proposed employers ask for a copy of your health report there? I have a friend who was deemed to be non functioning for two years due to the crash after hitting bottom and the subsequent fallout. It was only a thought to perhaps ease things until you feel well enough to work. I agree, a job is a great way to move on. But are you ready? Are you physically able to work right now?

I hope the anxiety has settled now that it is a new day. I can only try to imagine how you feel. It would be nice if you could get a hand up instead of more bureaucracy!

Wish i was there to help you through this.

Laura

[finding_laura]

This addiction most definitely is terribly destructive. I thought my world was ending for the longest time. Quite often self inflicted results driving me there.

Great that they are postponing? prison proceedings. Does the impairment have to be a permanent one? What if people are dealing with long term health condition but are expected to recovery? Is there no tax exemption for them? Gambling addiction and the resulting depression, suicidal feelings and terrible anxiety are only the beginning. Physical problems manifest from this as well. Treatment and recovery could take a year. It’s a shame if you can’t apply for a temporary exemption 🙁

If your son moves in to your home will all of this change? Will you be selling him the home and moving to your daughters? Or r you two going to be roommates? I feel I am missing something. Don’t go into details here if you feel it’s too specific. I know you have talked about it before but my memory plays short with me!

Unfortunately I have to run at the moment. Will see if i can check into group shortly.

Any chance you are relaxing and having a glass of wine or a bubble bath? It was a tough day and you earned it.

Laura

[finding_laura]

Bravo!!

You are doing the right things Allie’s mum! When we are sick and tired of being sick and tired from gambling and are prepared to do whatever it takes to beat this, we succeed. It takes a lot to make us give up control of our finances and give up the means to access our addiction. It means you are ready to see it end I think. It will never be just a game for us. Great that you are putting barriers in place to help in a weak moment. No money = no gamble! Way to kick the addiction to the curb. 🙂 Have an awesome evening.

Laura

[finding_laura]

Good morning Tina, or evening for you. Freezing my butt off here 🙂 It’s been around minus 30 C.

I would say no man in this world is perfect! He’s sticking with you in the way he knows how I would guess. If he’s always been a free spirit it would be hard to tie his wings! Maybe you’ll be able to meet up with him at some point for a bit of time together while he is away.

The creditors seeing you not be able to pay is likely not a bad thing. It tends to make them a little more agreeable to accepting an arrangement. As some money is better than no money! Or at least that seems to be the way it is here.

Keep enjoying the weather. Sounds like a good time of year to take up a hobby. When we remove gambling from our lives we have to figure out how to fill the hole or void left behind.

Keep using your resources here and with your counselor. I’m so glad that you found this place of recovery 🙂 Sleep easy Tina.

Laura

[finding_laura]

Thinking of you. Hoping things go as well as they can. They are right to all be concerned about you and not before time!! Dealing with the financial crap and all the administrative hoops is soul sucking. But one thing at a time. When it gets to much try and just put one foot in front of the other. One next little hurdle or to do. You will get through this. You will come out the other side. You are fighting for you now and deserve all the help in the world. Big hugsss Monica. Like the phoenix from the ashes. xo

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