[finding_laura]

Thanks for the post IDI! Been a busy week. I will be in chat in five minutes, just grabbing a coffee!

[finding_laura]

Wow that weekend blew by. Sunday night and not nearly ready for work tomorrow. Time to throw in a load of laundry and take care of a few things. I worry about the new members not getting enough support. But I can’t post a lot right now. I hope they try the groups or use the support line. ODAAT, life is better without gambling in it. Laura

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ok all caught up! Love the ex’s girlfriend complimenting you! I’m happy to know you look good on the outside (an outward sign that things are better inward)! Love your son’s comments about his mom. Also great to hear you are doing good inside out. What an amazing difference a year has made. Yes work is tough but at least you can handle it! Your wits have come back and you’ve made it through the crisis and come a long way out the other side. The days have added up to something beautiful. Enjoy the perks of having your son move in. So proud of you Monica. You make me want to be really strong. Thanks for the inspiration. Keep doing what you are doing. xo Laura

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Good evening Kin, I had posted a couple comments above as I caught up on your thread. I guess if fasting is about learning control and not about deprivation then I could understand it being a good thing. Do you meditate? I’ve often thought I should be putting effort into that but honestly haven’t given it a good try. Food is one of my weaknesses. Especially sweets of any kind. I’d like to say I struggle with it but these days I just let myself have what I want. Not a good result. I don’t have answers but I am here to offer support. And to say don’t throw in the towel. You have come so far. Please rest and find inspiration during your Sunday.

take care,
Laura

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I miss them posting too 🙁  I miss being able to post more often also.  But part of recovery is realizing I am resposible for ensuring I take care of me.  I’ve gone back to work several hours a week and continue to rehab.  Thankfully I have a best friend who is also a recovery friend.  She helps support me in person. Really proud of you and your growth.

Laura

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I wanted to comment on a few of your posts but honestly enjoy reading them and the lessons you pass on.  But here I’ll stop to say that is a very healthy thought for a person with addictive behaviours.  It is good to share with your family and others but if you don’t take care of your own recovery and sanity you will be of no use to anyone!  Glad you made it through the weekend last weekend.  Laura

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overwhelming! Wow when you put it like that I’m overwhelmed for you. I think it starts by living and doing the best you can in the moment. Taking things one baby step at a time. Looking at life with the glass half full. I try and remind myself there are so many people who would trade with me and live my life so I’d better start appreciating and enjoying it. For me I realized that I was always looking for something external to make me happy or feel good. Instead of appreciating who I was or what I had. I can’t change the past, as much as I’d like to. I can only go forward being as true to me as I possibly can. Only so many years left to live in this life so I want to make them good ones and it is up to me to do that. Sometimes we have to sit with our feelings and seems you are doing that. But don’t forget to pick yourself up and move on in a positive way. I have total faith that you can do this. I’m hoping to be in group this evening as I had a long sleep in and no plans for tonight. Hopefully we can connect this weekend. Take care xo

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made it through another week. Nothing new or exciting to report.

Blew a few hundred on Thursday which nearly made me sick. Good news it was on sensible things like a new pot and pans for baking. Some Christmas shopping as well! And groceries. I felt a little ill at how much I’d spent but then I reminded myself it was on life and not gambling.

Getting over this cold still. It will be a quiet weekend of house chores and getting ready for the work week ahead. I slept in today so feels like half my Saturday is gone. Chat is quiet, no one around this morning. I was late as I’d slept in. Hope to catch a group or two over the weekend. Stay strong everyone. No matter what, it is worse with gambling. ODAAT.
Laura

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Hey Kathryn,

sorry about your aunt, my condolences. Enjoy your family members no matter the opportunity.

So you see I’ve made it back to your thread already! Keep the good times rolling Katy girl!

Yes I thought we had both quit smoking around similar times. I have over 8 years in now, having quit a half year after stopping gambling. All the things we learn in recovery about triggers and HALT causing cravings that all transfers to other habits. As you said you have the tools you need 🙂

I’m very proud of you Kathryn. You’ve really grown as a person these past 9 years. You are like the phoenix who has spread their wings and is soaring.

Have a good night xo
Laura

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Good morning, you are quite welcome IDI, that’s what recovery friends are for.

Always good to get a post K. My last post seemed a bit depressing but I think I was just trying to pound into my head that gambling isn’t going to fix anything, it never did in the past! So why would it now? I had a little slip few weeks maybe even a month ago now. No need to go back to the madness.

I too try to stay positive mostly. Being grumpy doesn’t fix anything! There are difinitely positives from my past experience. As you say, making many friends in recovery, here and in my GA group. I have a lot more empathy for those with addiction having walked a mile in their shoes so to speak. I appreciate family, friends, relationships and time together so much more. I also learned a lot about myself and what my expectations were of life and my partner. So not all bad! Of course I’ve been climbing out of the hole I dug gambling for a long time now. I’d like to think I’m out of it, I just stumble round the edges a bit stupidly!

Easy day for me today I think unless I feel up to pushing myself a bit later. It’s a holiday and i’ve got a lovely cold. Had to cancel plans this weekend. Pray for my health please, I need all the help I can get. Take care everyone,
Laura

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glad to hear it. no matter what, gambling only makes things worse. Who needs that? Not me, not you, no one. ODAAT nin will turn into? I’m already trying to think of your clever slogan for December. Keep up the effort.

Hopefully your daughter will someday have a change of heart. I don’t know if it is because of your past gambling that she doesn’t speak to you, and none of my business really. Just keeping working on yourself and hopefully someday there will be a change of heart. All you can be is ready.

Thanks for your support Nick! have a great gamble free week.
Laura

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OMG Kathryn,

I caught up on a months worth of your posts. I’m totally exhausted reading them! This comes from someone who get’s exhausted getting out of bed lol Keep living the adventure Kathryn. I’m jealous of all the glorious camping trips yet to come as your summer is just really getting started. But only in the way that one friend is happy to see another getting on so well.

It’s disappointing when our partner’s don’t step up to their responsibilities and allow their habits or self interest to get in the way. But I guess we had our moments like that too when self absorbed in our addiction. We probably weren’t stellar parents all the time to put it mildly. Doesn’t mean it can’t be maddening watching someone do it to our baby. I hope he has come around and taken him out for a drive.

Keep going with the quit smoking! Why did I think you had already done that? You can do this. You have all the tools. And just think of that ap balance paying for your next big trip.

Thanks for checking in on me. Things are a bit tough since returning to work a while back. But I’m still here fighting the good fight.

Have an awesome week.
Laura

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hey, I’m running late as always. Just signed into group

[finding_laura]

waking up with morning coffee. Hope to do group in a few minutes. My body is not wanting to go along with the plan to feel better! Aching all over. Challenging times. Rehabilitation, threats of income being taken away, delayed payments from my disability insurance. My past gambling sure didn’t help me. I should be sitting on a nest egg, my home paid off, small car loan. So don’t know why I thought gambling would be the answer. It’s been a few weeks or longer. I’d have to check my bank statement. Funny how ashamed it makes me feel to see those withdrawals in a neat little line on my account. But at the time I’m taking it out it is nothing. I need to stay strong. I can’t give up on everything. One day at a time.

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Good to see you started a thread Henno! One day at a time. Keep putting barriers between you and your next bet. I like Marke’s idea, write down all the reasons why you don’t want to gamble. Imagine if you had “won” the 20,000 how good you would have felt. Well it feels even better when you watch it grow. We all have that capacity in us as we’ve wasted so much. And for what? Gambling isolates us from others. The true goal in life is to have relationships that matter. Thanks for your support Henno! I’m rooting for you! Have a great day off.
Laura

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