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Great posts IDI. When I think of our comments, about your dream kitchen not being the glossy magazine spread you dreamed of, but perhaps a more modest renovation now and another later, it reminded me of something I heard in GA. To the effect of lowering expectations can help with our happiness. Those weren’t the exact words (hey it’s been a while!) but something to that effect. If we always have extremely high and maybe sometimes unrealistic expectations it will leave us feeling unfulfilled. And yet on the flipside of that coin, we have to be careful not to thinks so little of ourselves and our goals and dreams that we never reach for anything or allow others to walk all over us. I think you know what I mean 🙂
It was great catching up. I’m so happy to see you doing well and that you have found some relief from the urges finally.
I think get proper sleep at night is a good thing, as well as cutting back a bit on posting if you have a heavier than usual workload. These are healthy things when you think about it. And we are trying to become mentally and emotionally healthy people who don’t gamble. Just make sure you get your support and stay connected. I’ve been down that road!
keep it up IDI. Progress not perfection. Onward and upward. so very very proud of you.
Laura
It was very nice meeting you in chat! You have made great progress in a short time. Keep your funds tied up so you can’t use them to gamble and keep working on treating yourself to me time. Take care, Laura
I am in chat now 🙂
Hi Liz, glad to see that you are doing well. It’s hard to realize the damage we’ve done but you are working hard at getting things squared away. I hope you have a big RV picture on that poster board. Just think of the adventures you will have once out of this debt. Little treats and mini adventures along the way will help keep your spirits up and you won’t feel so deprived. Do you have someone that likes to go hiking with you? Maybe check into volunteering at the seniors centre like you were thinking. Give you a chance to check it out and you might meet some people with similar interests. Lots of young seniors at my local seniors club. They have more energy and fun. Try not to be too hard on yourself Liz. You miss your hubby and gambling helped to fill the void and numb the hurt. But we can’t do it forever. Reality sets in unfortunately when the money and credit runs out. You are doing really well at taking steps to be accountable. Deep breathes. The days will pass as you pay things down. Before you know it you will be buying that RV. Look at me! First new car ever! Take care,
LauraHi IDI, hope everything is ok? Are you busy having fun I hope? That is always a good reason for not posting for a couple of days. You must be 4 months or over now Idi. You have done really well. What a massive change. Sending good vibes.
LauraHope you get some answers Monica. I can understand how you feel a life line of any sorts can only help. Any kind of healing! I can understand your reluctance to use anti depressants with the list of side affects things come with. I fought it for a lot of years even after being severely debilitated in my mid twenties for a period of time. But now I just accept it. But yes, I would research anything they want to prescribe. No weight gain with this one for me but I know of one that caused a friend to gain a lot. Hopefully there will be no need if you can find something more to your tolerance. I’m sorry you’ve missed the sunshine! Is spring starting to make it’s appearance there? Not much of a sign here, other than the robins have returned and there is more bird song. Have a good evening. Be good to your self.
LauraIt’s good to be aware and have a plan! I hope you get out and enjoy some time with friends or family. Getting that money where it needs to go will be a relief. Self care is always good. We need to really weigh what we are doing. We’d blow thousands in an evening but not leave ourselves enough for a hair cut. Been there! Now I try and treat myself to the things that make me feel good where ever possible. I deserve it 🙂 So do you. Have a good night.
LauraHey Exhausted,
how are you today? I am worried that you may feel you can’t do anything to change your predicament. I thought of suicide often near the end of my severe struggle with gambling several years ago. I had a life insurance policy and thought I could fake an accident. It was the only worth I felt I had to my family. I’m glad I listened to the little voice that told me that wasn’t true. I hope you realize that it wouldn’t be the answer. Have you been in touch with your doctor recently? Does your school have a student advisory department that could provide you with some advice, financial or otherwise? Do you have a close family member or friend that you can trust and confide in? Please don’t go through this alone. I’m sorry you struggle with a will to live and chronic depression. Please don’t give up on finding an answer. One little step at a time.
LauraDefinitely not worth it! Glad you turned over the finances. Hope you find the support you need here if you get an itch that is wanting to be scratched! I wish I would have admitted my problem sooner than I did but glad that i did when i did. Look for something to fill your time with. take care,
LauraHi Unlucky, welcome to the forum. I know how you feel. I really do. Hugssss. It’s so hard to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Zoning out at the casino gives us a break from our concerns and responsibilities. But for someone like us, who has become addicted to the fix we get when we slide the money into the machine and see it light up with credits to play, it creates worse chaos than that we are trying to escape. It’s hard to realize we are spending money our family could use for things like dental care, extras in the cupboard, or a family night.
As a nurse you must understand addiction and trying to make yourself feel better using outside stimulus like gambling or eating. You are just being human and trying to soothe your hurting. “evidence indicates that gambling activates the brain’s reward system in much the same way that a drug does.” This article from which I’ve quoted explains how gambling addiction is similar to drug addiction.
http://www.brainfacts.org/diseases-and-disorders/addiction/2015/gambling-addiction-and-the-brainAnd as such, we go through withdrawal. Which is also talked about in the previous article but here is another article that puts in plain and to the point. https://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm
It can be so hard to put the breaks on this. Think of the comps and your little secret cash stash as the drug required by an addict. You need to access it by putting it in a machine. And then the feel good chemicals flood your body. And your fix is complete until you run out of money or comps. Then the cycle of craving starts again.
When I first stopped gambling I couldn’t handle cash for a little while. I literally had a five dollar bill for a snack at work each day. I knew I would be too weak to walk around with my drug in my pocket. Before long I’d be looking for a machine to use it. But it was a starting point.
I wish you luck in perhaps banning from that casino. One step at a time. You can make a change and save yourself. Take care,
LauraMeet you in group? Not sure what language.
Laura
Hi Lily,
glad to see you didn’t give in to temptation. You played the tape til the end and knew you would walk out of there empty handed, missing time from work, filled with all sorts of negative emotions. When we get that tempted feeling we have to remember how it always ends! Welcome to the forum Lily.