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It is never too late to open our eyes and start living our life with true meaning. We can still fulfill our purpose.
Laura
good morning Jay. I’ve always been the helper. So accepting help of any sort always feels unnatural to me. I’m sure we all have a day like that we can remember. When things are going good in recovery we don’t spend a lot of time necessarily on “recovery stuff” like counseling or we ease off with our GA meetings. Having a memory we can pull out, hold up to the light, and remember where we don’t every want to go again, is a good reminder! Life just keeps getting better. Sometimes there will be some pretty awful stuff. But not gambling allows us to better handle those times. Keep up the awesome work.
LauraBig Hugs Monica. I’m sure it must feel peculiar. My partner and I have been together almost 30 years. We’ve had a lot of ups and downs over those years. And there are times where I’ve been a hairs breadth away from separation. It is a hard thing to do. But you guys know it’s right for you and are acting like grown ups! I’m hope that tummy settles down for you because this job sounds sort of peaceful or maybe even boring like lol Maybe just what the doctor ordered. Low stress higher pay! Deep breaths. Maybe look for a bland sort of diet while you are doing the herbs. Ask the Chinese Doctor. Omg Monica, just read back to see if was doctor or healer and seen that I missed post re your daughter. I will definitely say prayers. You must be very worried. Probably another reason your poor stomach is kicking up. Please take care of your self. Stay strong in your recovery. xo
Hi Anonymous one. Welcome to the forum. I wish there was a magic wand I could wave or a secret solution that would allow you to get all your money back. I never won big either. And almost always went home empty handed. I always felt that I was owed. Even though I knew that wasn’t how it worked. The machines weren’t Karmic. In fact plain as day the they were advertised by the government body running them as a losing proposition for the player. Especially the more you played. Didn’t stop me 🙁 I realize none of what I have said has made you feel any better. I can tell you that I survived. In my case I went for credit counselling and was told that i didn’t make enough money to pay all my bills even with a financial arrangement. They were right. In my instance a family member secured a low interest mortgage that consolidated all my debt and allowed me to keep my home and survive until I could pay things off. They don’t recommend a bailout. But in my case I knew I never ever wanted to have to admit to my parents I had risked putting my entire family out of our hom again.. Some members here have managed to work out payment plans with their different debtors. You call and tell them how it is and offer them what you can pay. What country or area are you in? It helps to know a bit more. There is also bankruptcy. What about attending a Gamblers Anonymous meeting? Some groups will hold a financial crisis meeting and help you brainstorm ideas for your situation? Please know that you are not alone in this. That things can and will get better. If you were in a tragic car accident and had all sorts of wounds the first thing they would have to do is stop the bleeding. That is what you need to do. Stop the bleeding of cash from your life into a slot machine. You say you are done and I hope you truly mean it for your own sake. What are you doing different or what is different that will stop you from making a bet again? I will pray that keep up the strength in your fight. Keep posting. Take care, Laura
What a really awesome post to read Johnny B. I am so happy to hear that it has finally clicked for you. That is not to say that there will never be days you could again. But retraining your brain is definitely helping. It’s like we were hardwired in a loop for so long. But when we figure out how to rewire it it’s amazing. Gambling and it’s after affects, and it’s pre affects too for that matter, sucks up so much of our time, energy and life! Not just the money.
Keep as many safe guards in place as you can. Keep in touch with the inner addiction. It will always be there. I say BRAVO Johnny B 🙂 Grab hold of this new happy life with your wife with both hands. And keep on enjoying the true meaning of life.
Laura xoSo great to read about your garden and how you plan to spend your “saved time and money”. I honestly think when we are addicted we are a bit like the hamster on a wheel. Our brains just go in circles. Gamble, lose, think about how to get more money to gamble, gamble, win, gamble, gamble, gamble, lose. Once we get some gamble free time in where we are sincerely working our recovery I think the hamster finally gets off the wheel and starts to think about better things! Enjoy your relaxation time together. Having a haven to come home to where a person is loved and supported can be a great springboard for life. I absolutely love flowers and used to have beds full of them. Now I have downsized but I still will do up several gorgeous planters for my huge deck. I have large but cheap plastic pots I refill every year. A few bags of Miracle Gro and a variety of cheap but colourful annuals and I’ll have colour all summer. I love this time of year as things are greening up here. I adore the wildlife that frollicks in my back yard. Rabbits, foxes, woodpeckers, finches and chickadees. Life is good. No room for gambling! Have a great night xo
So well done JayKay! So you run every night and prepare all your own meals. Do you like to cook or do you find it a chore? Perhaps if my family was open to trying some new food ideas I would enjoy cooking more. But who knows, maybe I’ll see if I can find a recipe site for picky eaters, lol. It might inspire me! Life is good for me too with no gambling on the agenda. Keep posting. It gives so much hope.
Laura
Wow Liz, I can understand how that must be very stressful. You are concerned about your grandaughter, the little innocent she is. Maybe listening calmly without judgement helps her to think it through on her own. That way she doesn’t go into defense mode. Defending her half baked thoughts. And the last thing you want is her getting her back up and digging her heels in over some half baked thoughts 🙂 It’s a tough life sometimes when you are a sensitive person aware of every little vibe and nuanace. Keep up the meditation. It is on my to do list if this life ever slows down. But good things! Laura
Thinking of you on your first day at a new job. You are one tough cookie Monica. No matter how far down this illness/addiction drags us, we can rebuild a new life. We can never recover what we have lost, but, we can learn to start a new healthier more in touch way of life. We deserve to feel connected to our inner self and to build a life that is satisfying to that person. All the best Monica! Catch up over the weekend. xo Laura
What you have done, telling your partner takes a lot of courage. I’m glad your partner is going to take over the finances. You will still feel like gambling likely over the next little while. But now you will be unable to. If you think you will be tempted to borrow money from your friend again to gamble with I would tell her that you can no longer borrow money. I”m sure you can come up with a good reason. Like maybe you are giving husband your money to pay your your bills for you as you have a hard time budgeting and you won’t be able to pay her back if she lends you more. Stay strong Flit. You are not alone in this. Now any thoughts about what you will do to fill your time or destress?
Laura
OMG Sherrie, just reading this now. How are you doing? did you delete a bunch of posts? How is the RA? has it settled down? Has hubby found a job and taken some pressure off of you? I remember when the UK people had to leave. Politics and money was all that was about. It was awful. This site hasn’t been the same since. But, it still is a place to connect with others with the same addiction. I am so sorry I missed this thread and did not respond sooner ((( Sherrie))) I hope things have improved. I have to run, head full of dye and time to rinse! take care,
LauraHey LisaAnn, just checking in as well to see how things are going. Hope to hear from your real soon. You can do this.
Laura
Hope you are having a great weekend Liz. Wild fires must be scary but you are staying calm and centered. Really proud of you. Debts are getting paid, your are giving yourself and your home some tlc and you are working through your anxiety without gambling. I’m sure we often used it to distract ourselves from feelings. But not this time. Enjoy the new journal. Your garden sounds absolutely lovely. take care, Laura