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Our steps, our choices, lead us down a path. Next good step, next right choice and the path will define itself. They will add up to a good rest of your life. We can’t change the past but we can take steps to make sure our future isn’t the same. My prayers are with you. Laura
H Kalpesh, I’m sorry to hear of your recent experience. Some people say that when we gamble without being able to stop it is an illness. Some say it is an addiction. Either way it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that you try and find some support to help you stop. It just keeps getting bigger and worse. No matter how terrible you feel now, you will feel even worse if you convince yourself to go back and you lose even more. Even if by some miracle you win a little, we fool ourselves into thinking we don’t really have a problem and you will likely go back and lose it all and more. I have been there many times. The only way I could win at gambling was to not gamble at all. Because I couldn’t stay away and would gamble back any wins. Right now you are very upset about the money. It is likely driving you a little crazy and you keep reliving things over. I’ve read someone give the advice to think of it as a tragic event that has happened. Like a car accident or big medical bill. Sometimes bad things happen. People must accept the loss and move on. But I would do what you can to prevent gambling in the future. I’m not sure what country you are from. In the UK people are able to sign up for an online service to ban from the online casinos. Do you have an option like that? Save your self from making the same mistake again. You still have your life and hopefully the employment to earn more money. We can’t believe it once it’s all gone. If you need to talk to someone the chat line here is a big help. Daytime hours – UK. Take care,
LauraLaura
It was very dangerous for me too. Tempted back to it for too long. Risked it all again, the important things. That is a very thought evoking story. Thanks for sharing here where we can learn with you. I hope you win this recent tussle with your self! You can be a CG in recovery again.
LauraMother nature is a healing balm to my soul. I love the beach and ocean. My favorite form of healing and connecting with my higher power. Especially on a day when it is empty of people. Only the waves crashing and the gulls crying. We have been given a feast for our eyes. It is up to us to enjoy it.
LauraHi Liz,
for sure it doesn’t take long to incur. And at the time it at least sorta felt like fun. Repaying takes a while, and is no fun at all so that probably doesn’t make it go any faster. I try to stay in the moment, in the day. Like you I am thankful I have roof over my head ( a pretty good one), I have food in the cupboard, my health needs are taking care of, i’m mobile and my family is healthy and taken care of. Deep breaths Liz. I often think it’s our empathetic natures that make us as anxious as we are. We are always tuned listening outward for others needs. Time we tune into ourselves too. Take care Liz. You ARE doing this as we speak. Recovery.Well done both of you on this big milestone!! So good to connect in chat IDI.
Just reading your post regarding moving home. That would be a big change for sure. I can only tell you that when I go home I have some family that haven’t gotten together since the last time I was home. My coming seems to draw them together because I ask to see them!
Just sharing, my addictions counselor had advised me not to make a big change in my life (such as marital status, big move etc) for a year if possible. Exceptions to the rul of course but I think it’s because of all of the moods swings and realizations we go through as we deal with our addiction.
You will get where you want to go. It may just take a little time. You are still raising your family which is an expense! I am just gaining new financial options as my fledglings either start helping pay their way or will be getting shoved out of the nest lol
Have a great week! Hopefully touch base. Laura xo
Good to connect! Have a good week. One day at a time we can do this.
Laura xoHi Liz, I have been spending the week catching up after coming home from a trip. I actually read back quite a bit further on your thread. I wish you great success with your jewelry business. Always fun to have things to look forward to. It will help keep your mind and hands busy doing something you enjoy. things really seem to be going great. Such a short time such a big change. Blessings Liz! Have a great evening.
LauraEnjoy those new shoes! Taking care of ourselves is a great accomplishment. Have a great week Monica.
Hey Daniel, wondering how things are going for you these days. Are you still here reading? Would love to have an update. Praying your recovery is going well. Take care of yourself.
LauraWow Monica. I hadn’t read your post of yesterday before we chatted in group today. Transformational and soul whispering. You are an inspiration who is showing the younger generations how to heal.
I’m glad you have your GA friend to connect with. It is good to have someone to understand and support you for you. I personally don’t find the term CG offensive, it just means a person who gambles compulsively. Which I did. I think we fill the term with all sorts of associations ourselves. But for those who don’t want to call themselves CG, I always liked I have instead of I am. I have a gambling addiction. I have a problem with gambling compulsively. Instead of being a noun. I agree with IDI. As long as you are getting support from it. I was good at selectively interpreting the readings and putting a feminine perspective on it. Or looking at it from the perspective of a people pleasing passive aggressive personality instead of the seemingly macho self centered CG in the GA literature.
So I wish you a blissfully peaceful week. Of course with loads of work satisfaction. Hope the electricity is back on soon! Enjoy creating your new personal space. Try and create a restful haven for yourself.
One step at a time, one day at a time, we can create a new future. We only need make the next right choice.
Have a great evening xo
LauraCrazy brain doesn’t like barriers! Glad you perservered. Hopefully they get some bugs worked out or some better support. Sorry I missed you in chat this afternoon. Had a good chat with Monica. Talk soon. Laura
some of us I believe have minds that lend themselves well to discipline and structure and rules. Others I think have minds that lend themselves well to compulsion and addiction and indulgence. A harder cross to bear in today’s world I fear where there is such abundance we can truly overdose ourselves. It is a hard thing for one to control on their own. You do want to change your behavior. You have made many changes over the past ten years. Sometimes we fall down. But if you pick yourself up and try once again to practice a rounded and less self indulgent life you will find it feels more natural each time. Because you have practiced it before.
I am sorry for the pain and disappointment you feel. I know you can find some balance in your life. Not strict regimens but guidelines. Not written in stone diets but healthy natural foods. You were born with the mind you have. Don’t try making it fit into a mold. Find ways that work with the way it works. I hope you can make some peace with yourself Kin. You can do this. Laurawhen you are a compulsive gambler and losing as we always do we do feel like zeroes. And it can get worse than that. It is always a good time to stop but landing the new job is a great incentive. Not a year from now or two or three. Instead of betting more and wasting all you can gain from it. You will likely find you rebound pretty quickly with a steady and good income.
Try and plan ahead what you will do to help build natural feel good chemicals. Walking in nature, squash, tennis, jogging or some physical activity. Find some new hobbies to keep you busy and occupied and feeling fulfilled.
It is about making some good life changes and choices. So happy for you. Well done on excluding! Hope you keep coming back for support.
take care,
Laura