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Good morning Monica! Not sure where the days are going. Checking in. I guess IT will be the end of an era for you. But you are ending it on good terms. I imagine in some ways it will be freeing. Hope work is going well for you this week. I’ve had some not so good news and won’t be available for a week or so after today. Life keeps marching on. But at least I’m in shape to deal with it. Catch up with you next week some time hopefully. Take care xo
Hi Nick and welcome to the forum. perhaps if you tell us a bit about yourself without reavealing anything about your identity would be helpful. Read lots of other threads and posts. Even if you go back through older ones you will find stories you relate to and advice etc that people were given. The most basic piece of advice is to stop the financial bleeding. It’s seems most of us have a hard time stopping ourselves until we have absolutely nothing left. So we need to protect any savings, credit or income we have left from our addiction. Maybe you can ban yourself, maybe you have someone else look after your money and give you an allowance for now, maybe you cut up credit cards, or perhaps you can install a software blocker if you gamble online. Getting support is also beneficial. Go to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting, seek out counseling, talk to someone here on the help line or post your thoughts and feelings. These are some of the things that may help. Take care,
Laura
Hello Leeds Lad and thanks for sharing your story. Wins for a problem gambler are like crack to a crack addict. Satisfies briefly but the hunger for more wins drives us back. It’s the feeling of that win. And over time it takes more to get that feeling. We risk more and usually lose more to try and get it. Installing a blocker helps but it sounds like you know how to get around that based on your post. Hopefully the national gambling exclusion functions properly, it’s a new system I believe. You can lock up savings in investments, ask someone you trust to help you with them, or move them to an account you can’t access easily with a bank card. Get rid of credit cards, close the accounts and cut them up. I guess how drastic you want to get depends on how badly you want to make sure you don’t gamble again. It’s good to know you have a problem early. I knew fairly quickly. But I still wanted to be able to gamble. I wanted to figure out how to do it without causing myself damage. After making a lot of attempts to control I had caused so much damage. I hope you make a go of your recovery. GA may not be for everyone. Try and find some hobbies or clubs or something positive to do to fill your time and thoughts. And if you find it difficult perhaps a few counseling sessions with an addictions counselor to talk things over will help. Take care, Laura
Dear Gino. It breaks my heart reading your story. I have read it many times and I have lived it. The only thing worse than dealing with this addiction is trying to deal with it alone. Having those you thought were friends and a partner drift away is hurtful. I know this may be hard to believe right now but even though you have broken your mother’s heart there can come a day where you make her prouder than ever. Right now you need to get support. GA can be a good place to get that. The army seems to be one place where they still hold your mental health against you. Awful. Any way you can access a doctor privately away from the military? You should have a right to confidential support. This can be dealt with. The first thing I would say to you is to stop the financial bleeding. You will continue to do more of the same and it can get worse. You can take on debts as well. And it continues to spiral from there. If you have any savings left at all can you entrust them to someone? I know that is hard seeing as not many have given you reason to trust 🙁 Move it to a savings account where you have to go in to a bank to get it out. Maybe add your mom’s name to that account so that two of you have to go together. Putting barriers in place helped me gain my sanity while I dealt with the mess I made and the mess that was me. I have to head off to an appointment but wanted to say you are not alone in this. Talk with someone on the help line here. They are great to talk to when dealing with the intense feelings. Welcome to the forum. Please be kind to yourself. Laura
Hey Johnny, I think boring old status quo when it comes to not gambling is good but I totally undestand. I drifted away from GT after several clean years because I just didn’t feel like I fit anymore. But that hurt me in the long run as I relapsed after 5 and a half years of clean time. I think we need to maintain some type of support, most of us anyway. So I guess now I have decided I am here for me. To remind myself everyday. Working on a year clean and gambling is the furthest thing from my mind these days! Have a good gamble free day Johnny. Laura
I’m not sure Liz. Do you know how long it’s been roughly since you gambled? There are certain times that can trigger urges. Milestones of sorts. I know for certain 3 months is one. I’m going to have to see if I can find the exact dates again. 3 weeks, maybe 6 weeks, 9 weeks, 3 months 6 months 9 months 1 year from recollection. It must give you even more respect for your younger daughter and all she has gone though and continues to face. It’s really to bad you couldn’t pick up some supplies as it may have given you a pleasant distraction from your urges. If things are that tight how would you even manage if you gambled again? I guess we need to really remind ourselves when the urges come. The urges will pass quickly hopefully but the damage giving in could cause could last a lifetime. Your beautiful home would possibly be at risk. I know you know these things but that is what can be good about GA. You can pick up the phone and on the other end is someone who will talk you out of it. So I’m hoping a post is the next best thing. Hang in there Liz. This too shall pass.
LauraBeing a child of the 80’s I am a big fan of the music. It is filled with so many good memories for me. I too started creating some music play lists but other more urgent things came up and pushed it aside. I am looking forward to a day where I can say there, all obligations taken care of and only time for me! Selfish I guess and they say be careful what you wish for. I hope the music helps Kin. Rebalancing our brain takes a lot of patience and self love.
LauraI’m glad to hear it Liz. Seems you are in a good place. My mother has been having some health issues of late and I’m starting to get a little worried about her. She has always been my rock. It’s hard to see the people we love getting older. Have a good night.
LauraGlad you are still with us.
This addiction will continue to take all that you give. It doesn’t have a soul or a conscience. Only once you stop the bleeding of cash can you even start to turn this thing around. And you have stopped it. I hope you have your money locked up tight. If you get an urge, well, you can’t put it into action if you don’t have any money.
Hang tight CornishLass. One day at a time.
LauraRelapsing after a long abstinence is heart breaking. The fact that your father is ill may have placed a lot of pressure on your recovery. Have you been attending GA meetings and or attending counseling? What were you doing to support your recovery and yourself during that time. Don’t give up. You can do it again. That is the important thing. The heirloom can’t be returned but you didn’t murder anyone. It was an unfortunate effect of the addiction. I hope we hear from you. Laura
Welcome to the forum Cornish Lass. It was good to meet you in chat last evening and i hope you find this to be a safe honest place for your to work on your recovery. When you are sick and tired of being sick and tired there is another way. Monica gave you lots of great suggestions and I’m so happy to read that you have some blocks in place. You aren’t the first one here to have alcohol issues wrapped up with your gambling problem. I could see how drinking makes it easier to gamble and to forget the aftermath of it all. One habit enabling the other. Facing the two together may be your way of dealing with these co-mingled addictions. I do understand what you say about it somehow being more acceptable to be an alcoholic. People now understand the concept that alcoholics have some sort of susceptibility. But most people think you should be able to stop your self from feeding money into a machine. What they don’t realize is our brains are making their own feel good chemicals every time we win. There have been fortunes spent on research and development and these games are made as addictive as possible. This is a real addiction. Gambling addicts are more likely to commit suicide because of their shame and guilt at losing it all. But I figure knowledge is power. And here we learn and support one another. Keep posting. You CAN do this.
Laura
Glad to read that life is good right now. Well done Liz on get through the urges. Pay day itself could easily be a trigger but you made it through! Accomplished a lot when you think about it. Enjoy the movies! I’m glad your mom is behaving for the moment. I’m sure your property is looking lovely. Take care