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Hey again Cornish Lass. It was good to see you in group. Look into that information Monica was telling you about, Gamstop. It seems to be helpful to those in the U.K. As I mentioned, here is a link to some information about female gamblers specifically http://www.azccg.org/Female_Gamblers.html and also a link re escape gamblers http://www.azccg.org/Escape_Gambler.html. Almost all female gamblers are escape gamblers. I hope this information helps. Poke around on the website I got this from as there is more info regarding escape gambling. Have a good Sunday.
LauraHi Liz! I just got back from an unexpected trip due to death in the family. Thanks to years of gamble free time I was able to afford it. You are definitely worth fighting for and so is your gamble free future. If you keep gambling what would you have to sell next? Your beloved home? Keep fighting through those tough days Liz. The good days are worth it. And there will be more of them. Try not to let other’s negativity get to you. Distance yourself when you can and when you can’t remember that it is their problem. I’m so happy to hear there is someone in your corner. Enjoy your quiet day. Laura
Hey Nick, not sure if it was hijacked or sometimes a new user to the forum doesn’t realize how to create their own and tag on to someone else’s journal by mistake.
Sorry I haven’t been around to post, had a death in the family and was traveling. I am grateful that I have rebuilt my life. I had the finances to go and attend and be there to support people I really love.
Making a list of priorities sounds like a great idea. I’ve noticed a lot of gamblers use gambling as a pressure release, sometimes a reward for ourselves for being there for others. The problem is when we have developed an addiction to it we can no longer use this as it will destroy us. Take care of yourself as you say. As we have been artificially increasing the feel good chemicals in our brain and now we take that away it can cause depression. Walking, jogging, hiking, spending time in nature, playing social sports, all can help increase these chemicals naturally. I hope you can find ways to add these things into your life. Glad to see you are still progressing in your recovery. Take care, Laura
Hi Flit, so glad to hear that something has finally clicked for you! Sorry so late in responding, I was away from home and due to circumstances was away from this site for a week.
That was when my recovery finally started. When something clicked and I realized I didn’t want to be the person wasting their life away gambling. I would dream of winning money so I could gamble all day without consequences. I finally realized that wasn’t who I wanted to be. Someone who’s whole life was wasted gambling and even just thinking all the time about gambling. I had to confess to my partner and put blocks in place. He would stay or he would go but either way I had to get help for my problem. That was 9 years ago. We are still together. I did unfortunately get complacent after 5 and a half years clean and returned to gambling. Nothing had changed. I still lost all my money I had access to. Thankfully I involved my hubby in the finances again and I reconnected with this site. I am nearly a year clean again. You can do this. Your life can be filled with much better things. It can have meaning. Keep posting! You give hope to others and at the same time you need continued support. There will be good days and bad. Mood swings in the beginning are to be expected. But you will get through them. Glad to read your updates. Take care,
LauraSounds like a good day invested in your recovery. Connecting with your old GA group, learning more about how to support your own recovery from speakers and others there to share there stories. We really need those days focused on our self and our recovery. I hope you have found a new GA group closer to you. We so much need the support from people who understand what we are going through. Keep it up! Have a good weekend. Laura
Sorry about the relapse Cornish Lass but glad you have come back here to post about it. They call this addiction progressive. It keeps getting worse and worse. I’ve done the same. Gone back after stopping for a while and it was like I was uncontrollable! I couldn’t feed it in fast enough! It’s like our brain is trying to make up for that lost time and some! It takes time to deal with urges and to allow our brain chemistry to return to normal. We also have to find a different way to deal with the situations that make us want to gamble.
I really am glad you are here. It means you want to try and wrestle this from your life. It takes too much from us and our family. Maybe it is time to tie up all of your finances. I know it can feel like we are a bit like children in the beginning having someone give us an allowance (and it should be small and daily if required) but we are really protecting our self and giving our self the breathing room we need to work on the addiction. And that is what it is. An addiction. Huggsss Lass. You can turn this around. You can have a good gamble free life. I’m living proof. Keep in touch. Post as much as you need. This is your journal. take care,
LauraHi Michael and welcome to the forum. Is there someone in your personal life that you would trust to help you with your finances? In the beginning asking us to have uncontrolled access to money is like asking a crack addict to carry around a bag of crack. It would be so difficult to just abstain. I had someone control my finances and only give me a small allowance for the first little while. Then, because it became difficult to manage a household that way I had my accountant family member monitor my bank account. I provided them with original receipts (so I couldn’t return items without it showing on the receipts I gave them). I had hit rock bottom and my shame kept me gambling free in the beginning. But I knew that it would pass eventually. This gave me a layer of protection, an extra barrier to make sure I protected my money from me!
I’m happy to see that your employer treated you as you likely advocate for addicts to be treated. With fairness and respect. With an opportunity to correct the problem and treat the illness. Addicts of all types come from all walks of life. When the illness is treated they become mostly empathetic productive members of society. And after all, they are usually our mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, other relatives or friends. We should give the same kindness and love to our self as we would to another who is struggling. Keep tackling this addiction from all sides. You are taking many positive steps. You CAN have a gamble free life once again. Take care, LauraCongratulations Monica and I’m so proud of your 300 plus days. I hope you are too as you earned each and every day. You are a strong woman and I have no doubt you will get through things with the Revenue Service.
Gambling addiction is treated as a mental illness. I know someone who had all late penalties and interest waived due to medical illness. That helped greatly reduce their debt. That was with our revenue service here. Then they were allowed to set up a manageable repayment plat that would not act as an irritant to the medical condition. Maybe something similar there?
Regardless, you will get through this the same way you have gotten through the last 305 days. One day at a time. One task at a time. One choice at a time. Well done Monica. Those of us in recovery are really the lucky ones. Good to catch up. Laura
Поздравляю Монику, и я так горжусь твоими 300 с лишним днями. Я надеюсь, что вы тоже так же зарабатываете каждый день. Вы сильная женщина, и я не сомневаюсь, что вы справитесь с Налоговой службой. Игорная зависимость рассматривается как психическое заболевание. Я знаю человека, с которого были отменены все штрафы и проценты за просрочку из-за болезни. Это помогло значительно сократить их долг. Это было с нашей службой доходов здесь. Затем им разрешили создать управляемую платежную систему, которая не будет раздражать их состояние здоровья. Может там что-то подобное? В любом случае, вы пройдете через это так же, как и за последние 305 дней. Один день за раз. По одной задаче за раз. Один выбор за раз. Молодец, Моника. Те из нас, кто выздоравливает, действительно счастливчики. Хорошо, чтобы наверстать упущенное. Лаура
Another member here, Johnny with all the numbers I do believe, mentioned thinking of it like a bad accident. Where it costs you money and your are just glad you got out with your life. I think of it as an expensive lesson. I was in total shock when I hit my financial rock bottom. Had mortgaged my home to the maximum, had several large high interest loans that would take years and years to pay off, and maxed out credit cards. Winter was coming and I had no heating fuel and we were barely feeding ourselves. And I had been hiding the whole mess from my partner. I was suicidal. You wonder how you got there.
How did I forget the money? It took a lot of effort but I knew it wasn’t coming back. And I could either find things to enjoy in each day or I could go crazy. It is so hard to let go but you have to or it will drive you there too. We get there chasing our losses and thinking somehow we will win and if we do we will stop and hold on to it. A pipe dream for a compulsive gambler. Breath. You will be ok. Keep working on it. Laura
Wonderful to see you update and that you are still gamble free. Glad to hear that refraining is getting easier. That must mean urges have been manageable? Sometimes rogue urges will still come out of no where but they should get fewer and further in between. It’s important to fill our time with healthier things and having a bit of a life is a positives step! Please don’t be a stranger 🙂 Gives me courage to know that you are doing ok. Onward and upwards Lisa Ann! Keep at it. Winning is not gambling.
LauraDo not give the addictions back their power. We are only powerless once we place that first bet. Enjoy the peace. And if the addiction tries to create doubts and cracks read your last post. There will be many more days like this. ODAAT. Laura