[finding_laura]

So wow, a really long time since I updated. Thank you all for the new year wishes. I hope it’s a gamble free New Year for all. I wish I had more time to post. Perhaps I’ll get a new bigger phone and do it more from the couch or bed. I wonder if my cheap tablet has a dictation function? That might work too. I haven’t gambled in the New Year. I had a couple slips in 2018. But think it was a lot to do with going back to work and driving again and not affirming in my mind that I was a non gambler. I’ve been doing pretty good since then. If the thought pops in my head I remind myself I don’t gamble and that it will just cause me more back pain. Wish I could say I was living a pain free life but the return to work has brought a level of pain with it. The question will be how much I can tolerate. I continue to go to physio and try and do the exercises given to me when possible. I am hoping that there will be enough progress at the end of the day to allow me to live somewhat pain free working a part time week. I hope all my GT friends are doing well. I miss you all. I will try and catch up some more before this weekend passes me by. Had a cleaning lady in again yesterday to help me do some deep cleaning and she also did my bathroom for me. My housed smelled wonderful when she left yesterday. It gave me such a lift. Today I just had to tidy up after breakfast and I didn’t have to spend the whole day doing as much as I could. I am going to have to schedule her regularly. When I was gambling I could never have considered such a thing. My new car is nearly a year old and a pleasure to drive. I wouldn’t have been able to make those payments if I was gambling. My bottom was October 28, 2009. I have not been perfect since then but have almost 7 years clean in there. I will remind myself that it is today that counts. Take care!
Laura

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let me know if you need a new random number for a bit longer yet.  Protect your trip!! Visualize the money is gone and then what?  Go to someone with a lame story because now you don’t have money for the trip?  Not challenging, trying to protect you from what could happen.  Only way I know how is this way.  xo you deserve a life with choices.

luv Laura

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Will post an update today, promise.

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Sorry IDI, I wish the chat room would make a noise when someone comes in. I was reading back about your bereavement and the flu. I’ve been sick with the flu too. Horrid. I missed a lot of time from work. I’m so sorry for your loss. It is hard to lose someone we love. I’ve been really struggling this past month. Not gambling but no time or energy other than work and necessary chores. Lots of rest with the flu. I need to get the cleaning lady in but I don’t want to make her sick! Keep counting the positive changes IDI. Laura xo

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I’m here was reading your thread!

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Hi Monica, I wish I could say I’ve been doing well but honestly health issues have been doing me in since before Christmas. . I’m just getting over my second bout with the flu in ten days or it just flared up again. Hoping to see better days ahead. I feel like I’m always playing catch up with life. But I am not gambling. I’m glad to read how well you are doing. As long as you can keep any repayments manageable and it lets you live an enjoyable life, that seems like a good balance. Really glad to read about your upcoming trip. You work hard and deserve it. You have earned it as a reward for all your efforts. You’ve got a lot of courage Monica and have faced a lot in this past year and a half. You have always reminded me of the story of the phoenix rising from the ashes. You are taking care of yourself in so many ways and feeling all the better for it. I am trying too but have all my men to contend with yet. I spent an hour today just straightening back out my kitchen. I need to get a cleaner in again but we have all had the flu and don’t want to pass it on. Do you ever pop by chat? I am going to try and do the 10pm London time group tonight. Take care of yourself Monica! xo

[finding_laura]

Congratulations on your gamble free time Monica. I’m glad to read that you are feeling a bit better physically these days although stress can translate into physical ailments when not dealt with. One step at a time. What can you do to help protect yourself from the stress of the debts? Anything? Gambling was a coping mechanism, not a great one of course, but it was. Now your games are helping you phase out from the stress. Again maybe not a good coping mechanism. What are some healthy beneficial coping mechanisms? Replacing the old and the bad with the new and the good. One little step at a time has gotten you this far. You are a strong woman Monica. I think we deserve to take a break from being the strong one all the time. Take care of you. xo Laura

[finding_laura]

It doesn’t just sound insane it is insane!!!!

Hi cmbasil and welcome to the forum. I know how you feel. I’ve been there. And continue to struggle. I’m glad to hear you are involved in GA and have some support and accountability. The line may have gone dead but the advice and support still helped you and gave you the back ground you needed. In the end it is up to us but we need to hear those sane voices regularly to realize gambling for a compulsive gambler IS insanity. I find keeping in touch here also helps me remember what it is I’m afraid of when it comes to gambling. The out of controlness, the aftermath. I’m glad you posted. Keep in touch with the forum.
Laura

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welcome Guiseppe,

hopefully you can take advantage of all the help you can get! Use both forums 🙂 You are young to be already knowing you have a problem. I applaud you trying to do something about it. So many suffer for years and years. You are learning early and that can help so much. I hope you have a gamble free day. A gamble free New Year. One day at a time life can be better without gambling.
Laura

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I will see if I can find out Monica re the game. I have a friend who is good with things like that. I hope your Christmas was lovely and peaceful. Hopefully a few Christmas treasures have found their way to you. My Christmas was lovely. Enjoying a relaxing boxing day and getting ready to start leftovers for supper with my sons. Take it easy and will look for you the 27th. Congratulations on your 16 months. No easy task. It was a daily commitment and sometimes i’m sure more often that that. Well done. xo Laura

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So happy your Christmas went well and you are finding strength while at home. That is a piece of the recovery puzzle you must figure out. How to say no the whole time you are home. You can do it. 36 days til Pay day. You can do anything for a day. xo Laura

[finding_laura]

Hi Angel,

developing a gambling addiction causes us to isolate ourselves from the people around us. We don’t want them to know what we are doing because deep down we know it doesn’t make sense and we are throwing our money away. No win is ever big enough and we keep putting it all back into gambling. Because we are addicted to the feeling of winning and not the money. So we always need more gambling.

Here is a place where you can take some time out. See what others are doing to try and break the cycle and learn to live without this addiction running the show. It makes us into people we are not. It can be so awful when you hit a bottom and around the holidays only seems to multiply it. But you can change things. Starting now. Read, post your thoughts, talk to the advisors during London, UK business hours, and check out the resource section for your area. We have all been where you are right now. A lot of us still are struggling. But many make a new gamble free life. Welcome to the forum.

take care,
Laura

[finding_laura]

your gifts sound lovely! Snob? no, I think sometimes we sabotage ourselves so much and deprive ourselves and our loved ones that when we get it right and can spend hard earned money on thoughtful things, well, that brings pleasure. I don’t want just a materialistic life. But having choices and make meaningful purchases is something we get from recovery. Valuing life is part of recovery. Hope you have a very merry Christmas! Sorry I missed you. Laura

[finding_laura]

sorry, slept in, there now!

[finding_laura]

Hi Monica, hope your week wasn’t too crazy hectic and busy. Drop a line when you have a chance. Just finished having a great chat with IDI. I’m going to try and be on the 2pm chat tomorrow, Sunday, if you happen to be able to catch it. I let IDI know as well. 3 days til Christmas, I can’t believe it. I hope you get some holiday time to relax. xo talk soon hopefully.
Laura

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