[finding_laura]

Hi Pocket, I hope you are still here reading. I know you had a few threads started at once in the beginning. How are you doing?

[finding_laura]

So good to see your update. Hope your method continues to work for you. Don’t forget to treat your self in other ways. We think nothing of blowing it gambling. A little balance helps us not feel deprived. Keep going! take care of your self. Laura

[finding_laura]

Dear Brandon, Thanks for the condolences. I was just grateful to be there for my family instead of sitting at the bottom of a pit I’d dug for myself.

I’m so happy that things are going so well for you. Having a partner who understand, supports and is there to spend time with and have adventures with is the real win. Your are both putting in the effort and thankfully that is making it much easier for you. Couldn’t have hoped for better for you 🙂
I found accountability helped me a lot with urges as it takes away some of the temptation. I know we have to be ready to take that step. It’s nice to go to bed at night with a clean conscience and a calmer mind.

Keep up the great work both of you! Have an amazing summer. Drop us a line to let us know how you are continuing to get on. ttfn Laura

[finding_laura]

thumbs up Nick! good to see your update. Keep at it. Laura

[finding_laura]

Thank you both! I was going to do the 11pm group but I was up early today and am done in I think. Did get a really good start on that paperwork. Canada Day here on Sunday and the weather is going to be hot for the weekend. Going to do a little celebrating! Did another chat group! Time for a rest.

[finding_laura]

I had missed your last posts since I came back. I had no idea you had changed jobs. What a big brave decision. Living life in a pressure cooker of a job that doesn’t provide you with any job satisfaction and only causes situations that pressure you. It sounds like you are making a healthy lifestyle choice. Others may admire the title and the benefits but if the job is killing you it isn’t worth it to impress others. I hope you don’t find the longer hours too wearing and that you find some peace with this change. I could totally understand how the change is appealing. Your words seem like a conversation with your soul: Living The Truth The Purpose of my Life moving ahead and why am I doing what I am doing Peace Joy Happiness Contentment Gratitude Recovery on the “war path” Beautiful. And Kathryn, I love your thought re the 5th stage being acceptance. You sound as though you have found acceptance that you cannot and should not gamble Kin! I hope you find all those states of being and qualities that help you be meaningful to you and your family. Love is also why we go on I think. Take care Kin

[finding_laura]

Did lots of posting the last few days. No one should feel alone with this addiction. Had a good chat. Got out and planted my flowers finally. Wore out. But a good wore out. Going for a hot epsom salt bath with I really don’t want on a hot evening. But will help after having a therapeutic massage today. Then hopefully a good night sleep. I have one more large bit of paperwork hanging over me. I’ve decided tomorrow is the day to get to work. Then I wan’t to live more of an everyday life instead of always being behind the 8 ball with deadlines that are way past due. Oh and I checked back over the thread and I’m back to one year of clean time as of a couple days ago. And it was a day like any other! A gamble free chaos free day. Laura

[finding_laura]

Good to connect. Good to share. Thanks for your ear and your kind thoughts. Never judgemental. Sleep tight. Have a good day in work xo

[finding_laura]

Smiling to myself. I’m hoping to spend a nice quiet winter doing puzzles after work. If I ever get all my paper work caught up. But no matter the road block I will find a way to reach my goal! So enjoy your nice quiet peaceful puzzle. Your brain is much better unplugged. Laura

[finding_laura]

Hi Optimism, just bumping you up to the top. Wondering how things are going with you! Keeping busy still? Sometimes the doldrums can set in. But hopefully as is summer time you are out and more active which helps. Take care, Laura

[finding_laura]

Good to see your post Lass. I’m rooting for you each and every day. I hope you don’t mind me saying here to Kathryn that I really liked the analogy she shared. Little things can make a big difference in how we think about this addiction of ours. It’s not a “hobby”. We have come far past that. But you can give it the heave ho from your life. take care, Laura

[finding_laura]

Thinking of you. Hope you are doing ok. Big hug. Deep breath. One day at a time. Laura

[finding_laura]

Hey Nick,

hope your week is going well. I’ve been thinking that we have been short on some masculine advice lately on this site. A lot of men tend to gamble on more adrenaline types of gambling like racing, sports, black jack and roulette. I know often in recovery they complain about a lack of excitement. So I just wanted to post a couple links I have often found very useful. I’m a bit of a researcher by nature and in my work. I’ve always felt when dealing with this addiction that knowledge is power. It gives us the insight into where we may run across pitfalls and insight into why we may be feeling the way we do. One of the links references a book. I have never purchased nor am I related to it in any way. Nor am I recommending at this time as I just don’t know. But the advice on the web page seems sensible and my government provided certified gambling addictions counselor said yes these symptoms apply to gambling addiction as well. And of course fee free to disregard! This is your recovery after all.

http://www.azccg.org/Male_Gamblers.html
http://www.azccg.org/Types_of_Gamblers.html

https://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm

[finding_laura]

Hi Harry and welcome to the forum. I think that is one of the big steps towards giving up this destructive addiction. Realizing that we have a problem and we can’t continue “just for fun”. Other’s may be able to gamble responsibly but for a compulsive gambler any little gamble usually leads us back to full blown chasing our losses. Having a “normal” life is quite possible. Having a better life is definitely possible. For many of us we had to get to a point of making some hard choices. In the beginning it can be difficult with lots of urges, or depending on how traumatic your realization is you sometimes face them later. In order to deal with urges and to help yourself get through a possible weak moment putting in place some accountability and barriers is usually very helpful. In the UK there is a new website that allows you to ban from all online gambling, not sure if that is where you are. I’m not so my familiarity with it ends there. But if in the UK I’m sure someone else will have some suggestions for you. An easy way to help is to have someone else control your finances. Having a small allowance for daily purchases while all other money earned goes into a family members bank account is helpful. I did that for a short period. Then when I felt I could handle money again I began keeeping receipts for all my purchases. My accountant mother had access to my bank accounts and audited me regularly for two years! But I asked for it. I wanted this crazy train ride to end. Over time gambling thoughts were less and less. Now I barely ever think of it unless here. And then it’s in a recovery context. Have you thought of trying a GA meeting? I attended meetings for 3 years or so regularly. It did help me to have that personal support. I also did addictions counseling for approximately 2 years. I guess if you really want to end this you throw whatever you can at it. Sorry for the long ramble! The short answers is YES you can beat this. Don’t give up, try try and try again.

Laura

[finding_laura]

Well Boo! Sorry I missed you! Group was quiet so I left 15 minutes early or so. Had a bed time snack. Yum lol. Now it’s more than halfway through next group and my back won’t allow it. Although I did peak and you hadn’t been in this group. Just came in to shut my PC down for the night. Good to see you posting Kathryn. Maybe your next day you are around home we’ll plan a chat date. Although you know I am never too far away. Hugsss girlfriend. Laura

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