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Hey Monica, I was booted as soon as you logged on but got back in. Thanks for your words of support, I’m glad I didn’t gamble too. It was little flitting thoughts that were banished with the help of my GT friends.
Enjoy your trip to your sisters. There is something that can be so special about that relationship. Hope you get to treat yourself!
I’m fighting not to go lay down and nap. Another day of sun sand and sea has knocked me out. Touch base when you return x0
Hi Liz, I find being financially tight a trigger for gambling thoughts. Many many times I gave in and made the problem worse. We need to keep reminding ourselves of the end result.
Activities like fishing are so good for the soul. Being in the surroundings of nature seems to help put problems in perspective.
I could hug your sister for getting you some supplies to get started. Another pastime for you as well and maybe a fund raiser.
I’m sorry I didn’t respond to your posts earlier, I’m in vacation mode and days spent in the sun knock me out! There is no such thing as too much posting. Sometimes it seems like there is more change, more thoughts, more realization that needs documenting. I’m glad that the GA meeting and counseling session seemed to help and that you are going to be able to continue going. Keep working on your recovery. It is worth every minute. Enjoy your evening.
LauraI was kicked out were you? I am logged back into group.
Hi Deceived, welcome to the forum. Kin is right! Stop digging the hole. No more borrowing. No more gambling and adding more debt. Sounds easy but oh so hard. Where are you gambling? Casinos? Can you ban from these places not to be allowed back in? Is there someone who you know and trust that would handle your money for a little while? Not having temptation can help a lot. I’m also wondering if there are any non profit credit counseling organizations where you are that could give you some advice on this situation. A consolidation, a repayment plan or possibly I’m wondering if bankruptcy is an option. A group like that would be better able to advise you. Then think over your options before you decide. The biggest thing you can do is admit you have a problem and start taking action to tackle it. Please let us know how you are doing. Take care,
LauraYou were cut off when I was going to say…. have faith….. you never know, maybe something longer term will come your way and you won’t need to be a best selling author. lol
I had three appointments last week which also ate up a lot of my GT time. I’m hoping to have a little more posting time this week as I think I’m appointment free. And maybe more chats too! Take care Monica, I really do think you are doing brilliant. xo
Hi Monica, so sorry I haven’t been around nearly as much. The summer is in full swing and when you live seaside you try and enjoy each and every minute of it. I wish I could tell you the anxiety will go away. Mine is always there, sometimes tucked away for a while but it will come back. I often think that comes from being a sensitive empathetic (perhaps slightly empathic?) person. And maybe when we aren’t running from our issues by gambling (or shopping) to cover them up it contributes to these feelings of anxiety. The alternative is not the answer of course. We have to figure out better ways to accept and deal with our feelings and emotions. So here are all the wins that I could read in your posts:
-family talking of healing and heritage (perhaps they have a strong positive example)
-family supporting one another
-you have enough savings to take care of yourself for many todays
-you are making progress around the house
-you are staying on top of your health
-you are still learning about yourself
-You are almost ONE YEAR gamble free!!!!!!!!!!I know life isn’t always positive and we are allowed to get down. Just don’t let the stinking thinking get hold and tell you that recovery has no benefits because I see a lot of them in you and your posts. Hope you’re feeling a little better and that you have found a little peace again.
take care!
Congratulations Granny! That sounds too old for you! I’m so happy for you Kathryn. Life is good. Being a nurse must also remind you of the fragility of human life. You are living yours to the fullest.
I’ve been either busy or tired this past while. Not a whole lot in between it seems. I need to do some reading and posting. Have a good week in work K. Laura
Hey BBB! So today is day 30! First off well done on getting to day 30. Did you have a plan for today? A way to keep yourself occupied? You still have your blocker in place for the online gambling so that should help this time as well. Read some posts on here to remind yourself why you aren’t going to gamble. You can do this. How are you feeling? What are you thinking? Are you watching the game screens in your mind? Change the channel to your empty bank account and how you feel after you have spent all your money gambling. Play the tape to the end as they say. Try not to fantasize about winning. It just feeds the addiction. Is there anything you can do to replace it. Even if it’s working on jigsaw puzzles. Something to occupy and distract. Give us an update. You can do this!
LauraHi Stephen, I’m glad to see you doing so well and am grateful the community has been supporting you. I’m still healing from a big surgery and sometimes when I am increasing activity and rehab exercises I can be wiped out for a while. So sorry I haven’t posted in a bit.
You are right when you say this will take time to sort out. We can’t undo the mess in a day. The anxiety and racing thoughts can be terrible and difficult. I just reminded myself that my loved ones wanted me to be with them and well. That gambling or suicide wasn’t an answer. And as I was reminded by the good people here all I needed to focus on was the next task, or the next right choice. One step at a time can be the beginning of an amazing journey. Deep breathing, meditation if possible, practicing self care, all these things can help with the anxiety. The bills can feel overwhelming. Focus on paying for the necessities. Roof over head, food on the table, petrol in the car for work. And of course quality time with your son can help ease the ill feelings. I’m sure he’s thrilled to kick around a ball or watch his favourite show with you. Take care and keep us posted.
LauraHi DM and welcome to the forum! So sorry in my late reply. I’ve been recovering from surgery and it seems every time I increase my activity level I end up needing a lot of sleep and miss keeping up with everyone’s posts.
This forum gave me an amazing amount of support, especially if you keep using it and people know you are going to stick around it gives them a chance to offer support. I also found GA helpful and attended meetings very regularly in the beginning. We don’t seem to think anything of the hours wasted traveling to or sitting in a casino. So a hour round trip and a hour or two meeting really is nothing compared to now likely.
I too was hiding the extent of my gambling and spending from my husband. I was very sick by the time I finally told him. I knew I had to. To save me! I had to stop or my life would be ruined whether he stayed or left. I was terrified and sick to my stomach all the time. I couldn’t sleep or eat. My anxiety and depression was getting unmanageable. Suicidal thoughts. He surprised me with his response. I thought he would leave for sure. But in the end he understood I had a problem. It would have been ideal for him to take over our finances but he just didn’t feel capable or have any interest! So I found a family member to do it. I needed financial accountability to someone. I didn’t want to have temptation or urges and access to money to gamble.
Please know you are not alone! The more you post the more you receive replies. Try and stick to one thread and keep adding your posts to it. That helps us keep track of you and how you are doing. In the beginning it is hard to think or do other things. Keep trying to find ways to distract from gambling. It takes time for our minds to get over this!
I managed 5 and a half years of gamble free time before I had a relapse. But I am back on the bandwagon and have another year without a bet. Life is good! Take care, LauraHi LostAll and welcome to the forum. Being a gambling addict is like falling down the side of a cliff or mountain. We may manage to grab a little hold here or there but we still continue the fall every time we go back and bet! Stopping this addiction when in full motion takes some drastic measures! Access to money keeps the addiction alive and in motion. Allowing us to fall further and further inflicting more damage. We need safety nets to stop the fall. If you are able to BAN yourself from the casinos you frequent, do it! Or give up access to your funds. Transfer money to an account that ties it up or to a person you can trust to look after it/hold it. If you go back to your parents tell them why. You do not want to start asking them for money under false pretenses. If they know you will want money for gambling they will be able to tell you NO. I know that can be terribly hard to do. I did it myself. When I decided I had had enough. I knew I had to outsmart my gambling self. I knew I had to protect me from my gambling self. I knew I had to keep my money from my gambling self. Something for you to think about. Perhaps you will be able to find some addictions counseling? That can also be a help. It gives you some tools to cope and some ideas as to why you are still there after all this destruction. Please update how you get along. Take care, Laura
Hi Gino, I’m hoping you have now started your rehab. This addiction makes us feel so hopeless. I’m hoping that through the rehab program that you too find HOPE again for your future. You have so much life left to live. So much beauty yet to behold. Let us know how you make out whenever you can. I’ll be praying for you Gino! May you walk out of the shadows and into the sunlight. Take care, Laura
Hi Jack, sorry for the late reply. Life has been busy and hectic and truly I wonder how I even semi managed any kind of life while i was gambling. How are you doing?
The main things that helped me stop gambling were: No access to money for a while and then when I did start having access my bank account was monitored by a family member and I gave her all receipts so I couldn’t be returning things for cash without it being marked on the receipt. NO credit card access. So that took care of money access. I also went for addictions counseling. Attended GA meetings regularly. Went for credit counseling. And I nearly lived on this site. Posting and doing groups. I also started to add in other activities to try and fill my time. Slowly relationships were rebuilt and after nearly losing them all I treasured my time with them. I hope you are still fighting the fight JP!
take care, LauraHi Monica, just checking in. Sorry I haven’t been in group all week. I was spending a lot of time out in the sun and being a little more active than usual and it just zonked me out. Thrilled that you were able to make those purchases. Nice new bedding must have felt and looked good. Little things. I’ll pray a new job comes your way soon. take care, Laura