[finding_laura]

Thanks IDI! I’m constantly chasing my tail these days. I’m still very tired but working on it with supplements. I’ve had one of those weeks full of medical dealings, paperwork and on top of it all I had a bad fall earlier in the week. I’m hoping I haven’t done any permanent damage. I have a lot to get accomplished this weekend. I don’t want to go into details but a lot of time sensitive things that will really affect my life if I don’t get them dealt with. My morning coffee is really hitting the spot. Makes me thing of my dear GT friend P. Miss her bursts of posts. Now to wake up a little. I’m writing this as I sip on my first coffee. Sorry I missed you in chat Vera. I’m hanging round til it’s over. Laura

[finding_laura]

slept late. making a coffee. in group in five minutes. sorry i missed you Vera!

[finding_laura]

just signed into group.

[finding_laura]

Hi Monica, I feel like I’m falling to bits at the moment. I had stopped taking my vitamin regimin just because I was tired of taking things all the time. But I started it again yesterday as the exhaustion is getting oppressive. Odd place for a hematoma?

Congratulations on the job. Quick start date! Is it close to home or an away job again? At least it is some income security for a little while longer. You’ll be able to help with your grand daughters uniform . I wonder if your sister is abusing your generosity. But if it is truly a limited income thing then lucky her that she has a generous and caring sister. You are a very kind person. But remember you need to take care of Monica too. Sometimes people will repeatedly use a “safety line” if it begins to feel like part of their income instead of yours. I guess it can be a case of setting boundaries in that instance.

I will come to group in a few minutes but not sure how long I can stay. Sorry I’ve not been around in your difficult time but oh so glad there was a help line for you to call. One year tomorrow. Such a big achievement. It hasn’t been easy but you’ve done. You’ve come back from the edge. And now it is YOUR chose to give your money to whom you like and for whatever purpose you like and not the governments.
Well done. Laura xo

[finding_laura]

Hi Critias and welcome to the forum.

I understand how painful a relapse can be. After 5 and a half years of gamble free time I started gambling again. I came to the conclusion that not maintaining some form of connection with my recovery resulted in my relapse. I was going through a rough period of time and because I was no longer going to GA, addictions counseling or using this site i didn’t deal with it in a productive way. It took me a while to come back to recovery. But I am back here connecting and am thankful to have over a year back in. Charles is right, reaching out to GA or perhaps some counseling may help. Posting here about how things are going can help maintain a recovery connection. I hope you slip back into your recovery ways. It is not quite so foreign the second time round.
take care,
Laura

[finding_laura]

Well darn IDI, I had to finish up something so checked out of group for ten minutes. I left a message in the group forum but I’m sure you didn’ see it 🙁 I think I checked back in one minute literally after you left. Caught up with Kathryn though so that was a nice surpise. I’m staying til group closes in 15 more minutes.

[finding_laura]

Sorry Monica, I haven’t been in chat since my last post. Seems I’ve lost several more days. I’ve just been completely exhausted and more family visiting. One of my absolute favorite aunts who hasn’t been here for a visit in 8 years. So another round of family visits and lunches and suppers! I’m thinking of bringing up my exhaustion to my doc as it is much deeper than usual and I can’t seem to shake it. Apologies to the GT gang. Once again I hope you are all doing ok. No gambling here! I had a very brief opportunity to gamble again and made the right decision. Accountability to my GT friends is a barrier for me. It makes me think. It makes me play the tape to the end. Thanks friends! Laura

[finding_laura]

Survived the company! Had a great time! Lots of time seaside. Great tan. Exhausted though! Need another good night of sleep to catch up. Thanks for the posts. I was also happy to see familiar names posting on the forum. Sorry I missed group tonight. lf I get second wind i will do some reading, posting and catch a later group as well maybe. Life is busy and full. Received letter in the mail. My taxes are being audited. Received letter in the mail, my drug coverage provider wants me to confirm I received said drugs. I swear, the universe is just making up more paperwork to send me because I was dwelling on what I already had to do! One step forward two steps back sometimes. Thinking of you all and hoping everyone is doing ok. Laura

[finding_laura]

“I was blind but now I see” is something that comes to mind reading your recent posts. You are gaining a lot of insight into your past behaviours and motivations.

Try not to take on too much at once. Allow your new habits and pace of life to solidify. Little changes.

Carefully and slowly – take time to enjoy the journey and not racing to some current destination in our minds eye.

Well done on all your progress. You have never given up for long.

Laura

[finding_laura]

I’ve had a couple of busy days! Took a break from the heat and sunshine to organize and clean in the air conditioning. Got a lot done but I’m a little stressed. I have family coming for a visit and other than the main part of the house there is still a lot to be done. Some of the to do’s are outdoor’s but it’s been too hot. I wish my partner saw more merit in keeping things up and looking nice. It makes me feel like I can’t keep up and a bit ashamed. But I have to remind myself I can only do what I can do. That’s probably where one of my desires to have money comes from. Would be nice to just hire people to take care of everything! But I never walked out with a big win. I never had money to put into anything. I always was taking everything out of my regular money and leaving myself in a mess. So back to reality!

I’ll be busy again today. Please take care everyone.

[finding_laura]

Love you Bettie! Good to see you posting. Liz and Vera have some great mother and grandmother perspective. Isaac is lucky to have so many people who love him and look out for him. Grandma has to look after herself too. Big hugggggg.
Laura

[finding_laura]

Hugggssss Vera thanks for your post. How are you holding up?

[finding_laura]

Hey Jack, glad to see you are still here and doing great. Keep adding in activities that make you feel good in different ways. Exercise, quality time with friends and family, meditation and anything that helps you feel better.

I am currently 48. I was 34 when I started gambling and i had two major periods of heavy gambling where I lost everything I owned and could borrow. I stopped gambling at 39. 9 years ago. I stopped for 5 and a half years. Then gambled sporadically for a while. I now have another year in without gambling and I never want to tempt it again.

One thing I would say to you is protect your savings. Put them into an account where you need to give notice to take money out or give it to someone you trust to take care of. Keep it up!
Laura

[finding_laura]

Hi Dm, so glad you found a GA meeting to go to and that it was welcoming. Opening the door for more accountability with your husband is a good step too. If you are handling cash at all I would ban from any casinos you may access in a weak moment. It’s all about supporting our recovery using many different tools and barriers, such as bans, having someone else take care of finances, GA meetings, counseling and journaling here. You are doing great! I’m vacationing right now so I’ve been lazy with posting. Sorry about that. Glad to see others have been around a bit! Take care, Laura

[finding_laura]

Hi BBB,
I’m thrilled you have made it past your dreaded month! Now what about two? or even another day. And then another day etc. Just keep putting it off and you will find yourself thinking of it less and less. New boots and clothes sound better. Not to mention paying bills on time feels much better.

Thank you for asking, I am currently enjoying the benefits of recovery and staying connected to my friends here. Because I don’t want to go back where I started. Becuase this addiction nearly took everything from me before and I won’t let it again.

We can throw a lot of opportunity away over time or we can benefit from it. Keep going. Can’t wait for the next update 🙂
Laura

[Author]

Posts