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Hi Karo,
still with us? have you thought about what you will fill the time with? Have you thought about how much worse this can get if you don’t take the bull by the horns? Your sister sounds like a very smart woman and a great source of support. What adventures can you plan together? Maybe when you realize yourself that you need to stop to save your sanity you will return to GA. It can be a great source of support as well. And don’t forget about the people here. Take care,
LauraHi Sherrie honey, this addiction feels like quick sand sometimes. Sucking us in again. Hugs. I know you are probably feeling in a difficult place. You are human. We return to our coping mechanism. It’s not a good one, it’s downright dangerous to our health. But that is what it is. I’m glad you reached out here. A better coping mechanism. And it sounds like you did it pretty quickly. If you are going through a rough patch, please post directly on my thread and I will support you however I can! Sometimes I am away for a day or two or three, right now due to lots of “stuff” going on that is important. But I am feeling a little bit more in control this last couple days. Please hang in there. You are worth the effort! Laura xo
Hey Dogged,
From your story you have been battling this a long time. I’m sure you’ve been told and maybe tried not having access to your money? I find barriers such as being banned from casinos or bookies, having a gambling blocker on your devices or not having access to funds lessen the urges from coming in the first place. Once urges have started and you have access to gambling it can be a hard battle.
Here is an article I came across for preventing them: https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/counsellor-articles/the-10-most-successful-ways-of-overcoming-gambling-urges
Staying connected with others dealing with this can help you find a path forward.
take care,
LauraHi Nicole and Welcome to the Forum 🙂 Most of us come here when we find our selves unable to stop!
Cutting up your cards can be a step or a piece of a plan to address gambling addiction. But by itself I’m afraid it won’t have much success. We usually plan around it or end up ordering a new card.
Beating this addiction takes a whole lot of commitment and support. As a student do you have access to counseling? I would say finding support is a big part of beating this. Accountability is another. Cutting up bank cards can be a start, but it is best to have someone handle your money for the first while. Monitoring your bank accounts even if not directly doling you out funds. What about a support group like gamblers anonymous or a church group? Continue to use this site’s supports. All of these things add up to help beat this addiction. As you say, we can’t stop! It takes drastic measures but it is worth the embarrassment of telling one or two TRUSTED persons that we need help. Please take care,
LauraHi Trish, welcome to the forum. You are definitely not the only one that seems to have problems with money disappearing after just one more bet. Sometimes I would mentally fight with myself as I added a little more money and as I placed each bet. I wasn’t really enjoying it due to knowing I was spending my grocery money or bill money. Unfortunately I kept getting worse and it wasn’t until I had borrowed every possible cent I could that I had the courage to ask someone to help me by taking care of my money for a while. I also started GA meetings and went for gambling addictions counseling. Do you have a partner or sibling that could help you with your money? Is there free counseling services where you are? Can you find a GA meeting near by? Drastic measures can be taken to end this cycle. I hope you continue to let us know how you are doing.
LauraIt was nice to catch up last night in chat and I am thrilled to bits for all your wonderful updates. Like you say, life can throw us up and downs but gambling makes things more hectic and extreme. Not a good mix! That’s my spin on it anyway! Please do keep in touch. You obviously touched a lot of us here. You were always a very sweet person. So glad for your gamble free time as well! Laura
For a compulsive gambler, one bet is too many and a thousand is never enough.
As Jappy says, we will never get out of the hole we are creating if we don’t first stop digging.
How are you planning on hiding the payments on that kind of debt from your parents?
Counseling may be helpful to address this. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which helps change thought processes can be a helpful part of that.
A support system such as gambler’s anonymous or church group can be helpful as well.
We didn’t chose to have this addiction. Most of us weren’t even aware such a thing existed.
As hard and difficult as it feels right now, you can have a better life, a gamble free life with the things in that make life truly meaningful. It takes courage to admit you have a problem and do the things necessary to deal with it. As much as people let on they don’t have problems most do. My mother often tells me how proud she is of me and that I took the bull by the horns and dealt with it. I was very low when I finally admitted my problem. But I did the things suggested to me here finally. And they made a world of difference.
Can you ban from the casino you frequent? Or are you in a location where this can’t happen.
Please don’t give up hope.
Laura
The question I would ask you is, deep down do you really want to stop gambling? Or do you just want to stop the negative fall out?
So many of us hit the same bottoms. I say bottoms because just when you think you have hit your lowest point, continuing to gamble just brings a new low point.
I tried stopping by myself so many times that I lost *****. And each time I started gambling again (after a few days, maybe a week, sometimes even months) I would sink lower than I had before.
I know the deep shame that comes from admitting this to people we love. We feel we should have been able to stop before now. And to lose respect feels terrible. I’m not saying to confess to all you know. But to have one person who loves you in your corner and helping with finances can be the best barrier to gambling.
There are other barriers you can put in place. I’m not sure where you are but can you ban from the online sites you use? Close ac*****s. Transfer money needed for long term bills to an ac***** you can’t access without a lot of notice. Cancel credit card ac*****s. Also, use supports, gamblers anonymous, counseling, this site.
Are you still in school? Can the university provide you with mental health services? Gambling addiction is considered a health issue in most western *****ries. What about emergency financial assistance from the University?
Please think long and hard about protecting yourself. This addiction has a way of making us forget our past mistakes and repeating them over and over with worsening consequences.
Well done on posting here. This addiction can be stopped. You can have a good life. Please don’t do anything rash.
take care of yourself.
LauraI like to be able to feel comfortable but look nice at work. I also need easy care pieces. I have so much stuff that is hang to dry right now. I never used to by clothes like that. ugh, too much effort and you can’t do a list minute load of laundry for work.
I’m so glad you are in a better place mentally Monica. All that matters is each day. You are in a place now where you can meet your daily needs and extras for your family.
After the year you have been through I would be probably be eating too much cake too! I would think I deserved a cake a day 🙂 So if it wasn’t for the health concerns I’d bet saying eat lots and lots of cake.
Well done Monica. Hope you are enjoying your Sunday. Have a good day in work. Hope you have some good reading or listening material for the travel in tomorrow.
Take care, get lots of rest and talk soon.
LauraDear Alice, I was thinking of you just a few days ago and sent a silent prayer to the universe that you were doing ok and that things had turned out well for you. You sound very upbeat in your post Alice and it sounds like things have changed for the better. So very glad to read your post this morning. Laura xo
Hey Liz,
sounds like you’ve been making it through a rough patch. The anxiety and depression can be hard to deal with and don’t forget you are likely going through withdrawal as well which just makes it worse (PAWS). Hope the AC is working when you get home and at least you will feel like you have your comfort in your own place. I wrote a note to all three ladies back in recovery on IDI’s thread. I have faith that you will all come out the other side of this. Enjoy your time with your grandson. Laura
Welcome Tonilouise,
This compulsion, addiction, illness, whatever you chose to call it will only get worse with time. If you can realize that you need to deal with this regardless of whether your relationship ends, that you need to deal with it for you, for your future no matter what that future holds, then it makes it easier to come to terms with where you are now. He is probably angry and feeling betrayed. He may still give you an opportunity to explain about your addiction. And perhaps if you show him that you are taking steps to seriously address it, such as gambler’s anonymous meetings, requesting counseling etc he will support you. But either way, you need address this for you, or as Shark says it will continue to rule your life going forward. There are many of us here that have recovered at all ages. We all wish we had done it earlier. Right now you do have time on your side but that can slip away if you don’t address this. Some serious food for thought! Hugssss! Laura
chasing our losses is a losing game! If you manage to win and take out some money you will put it all back. The mind game will have started where you convince yourself that because you won once you will win again. And when you eventually lose, which is more often the case, you will begin to throw more good money after bad. chasing the losses once again. It is scary how fast the line will move as you tally your losses. And what you become immune to as the losses wrack up. Look at this as a very expensive lesson. You have found out that you are a compulsive gambler. Someone who finds it hard to have any control for very long. It can be so hard to realize you lost your house savings but many here have lost a house. Know that this compulsion will only get worse if you keep feeding it. I hope you realize this before you are far down the road. Take care, Laura