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glad to see Maverick also posted while I was in between composing!
Hi Liz. Do not feel that you complain. One of the reasons this site can be helpful is that we can be honest about how we are feeling. Gambling takes us to dark places. It cuts off options and freedom. The very thing we hope to gain by gambling sometimes. Have you touched base with your counselor since these latest feelings have set in? What happens when a lien gets put against your house? Does it just mean you can’t sell without paying them? Or are there other financial implications? Anyway you could leverage your home’s equity? To combine debt into something manageable?Not wanting to stir up bad feelings, just trying to get a bit of a grasp on your situation. Anxiety and depression are real, especially when we have things that are weighing us down. When i would get overwhelmed by the chaos I had created, others here would tell me to try and break it down into manageable pieces. Make a list of the tasks you need to tackle (like calling on Monday about arrangements) so that you don’t have to leave them on your mind at night. Try and deal with what you can but not beat yourself up about what you can’t. You are human. And one who has carried a lot of weight on her shoulders for all her life. Being a kind tender hearted person is not a failing. And hurting ourselves before we would dare to hurt another is one of the reasons we gamble. But we have to learn that we can’t continue to take the pain forever. We are cutting off our nose to spite our face. The lessons get too hard! Hugsss Liz. Wish we could all pop over for a support group. A cup of hot tea with supportive friends seems to make things a little better. Hold on tight. Don’t lose ground. Please find a way to pamper yourself. Tomorrow is another day. xo
some good advice IDI! Hope your getting some relax time in this weekend Monica. I am in afternoon group but quiet so far. talk soon, Laura
I was so sorry to read about your niece. Heart breaking 🙁 I hope they are able to come up with a good treatment plan. I will pray for her healing. Thank god your son in law and his dad made it out of the crash. Could have been worse but still scary and gives a person a shake up thinking of the alternatives. Your daughter would have been left with two little ones. Life can sure deal us surprises of both kinds. I guess that is a reminder to always grab life with both hands and live it to the fullest. No regrets! It was good you could just take off to see your sister/niece and not have to worry about the finances of it all. Stay strong my friend. Talk soon.
Laura xoHi Jules and welcome to the forum. I hope that by being here you continue to learn about this addiction and what you might be able to do to help yourself.
So these venues that you have banned from? Are they private casinos? Government run Casinos? Indian band casinos? There may be a way to make the ban more forceful depending on who owns the venues. An expression I heard often here and in GA is no money = no gambling! Is there anyone that can help you by holding onto your savings for you? Can you put them into a separate bank account that you can’t access without some difficulty? Barriers help us to stop and think. Getting as much support as you can is also helpful. Counseling can be a great tool. What about a gamblers anonymous meeting? There can be some really supportive people there. Not to mention hearing of others difficulties can help remind you of where this can take you. It is a progressive addiction/illness whatever you want to call it. It will get worse.
And of course starting a thread here and maintaining it will let others know you are serious about dealing with this. The support of the community can be immeasurable.
And last but not least, don’t give up! You can do this. We just have to keep making corrections to our course to get there.
take care,
LauraAnd now for my post. 12 hours return is tough when there is no relaxation to be found on the commute. Anything like an audio book you could listen to? I think there are aps for your phone and you buy the books? Just a thought. Somehow if you could get a little enjoyment or rejuvination out of the travel time it might help a little. Hopefully as it cools off it won’t be quite so stuffy even if still crowded.
I know when I was dealing with my horrendous finances and trying to sort them out it would get so overwhelming sometimes. The support system I had here would tell me to break it down into manageable pieces. To focus on where I was at that moment and on what I could do something about. No point in stressing over what we can’t change. If there is no threat of court action at the moment and you can continue to pick up contracts that is pretty good for now. They aren’t impacting your life currently that is definitely a plus. So you have a roof over your head, food on the table, the ability to give a little help to your loved ones and a little money to make your place a home. You have a little company still in Pete and the dog. And you have your weekends free. Try and look for ways to make your work week easier and your stamina up. It’s hard to be the strong one all the time. If you can afford, buy a simple little boquet of flowers, or a single stem even and put it in your favourite place. That is from me my friend if I could be there to give it to you. Take care of your self. Get lots of rest too!
LauraSorry I missed you and IDI. I got distracted and didn’t realize i was disconnected. But I am back!
Hi Johnny, thanks for this great post. It is insightful, positive, honest and supportive of your fellow members. Thanks for connecting and sharing. I got a lot out of it. We are human. And sometimes we fall back into something old and comfortable. I think what I learned from my past relapse (and it wasn’t just a relapse, it was a 2 and a half year return to gambling) is that the feeling of it had changed. I knew I was breaking my promises. I knew I was lowering my standards. It sucked to lose and it didn’t even feel good to win because who was I going to tell and share the winnings with. I was in debt up to my eyeballs and hiding from my friends and family so my sessions were limited. And I still lost. So I was in more debt up to bangs and things just felt futile. Save yourself the trouble of finding out that it’s the same shite different day. You aren’t missing anything and have so much more to show for it. All that glitters is definitely not gold. You made the right decision and held on to the true wealth in your life.
And if we make a mistake and think that things have changed, well it’s good to know there is support here. When we need to come back to our senses.
Keep up the great work Johnny. It’s good to see ya!
LauraHi Critias,
it does hurt to lose the respect of friends and family and most wouldn’t understand that it felt so uncontrollable and really at the time didn’t feel like a choice. Don’t feel you have to tell everyone you had a problem. Only those you can trust to be supportive. If someone asks you to go gambling you can always say I just don’t. Believe it or not beating this addiction can be one of our proudest moments deserving of respect. How are you doing/feeling today?
gratitude for the world around me, nature, sunrises, rainbows, the sound of trees in the wind. Gratitude for second chances.
Hey slotjunkie,
Bravo asking your gambling counselor to help you ban at that casino. Too bad there wasn’t a way to block the commercials too. I hope you and your sister plan something entertaining or relaxing. Changing meds can be difficult, hope that resolves soon. Sounds like you are doing a lot to help yourself. Enjoy your day tomorrow. Laura
That sounds like a good plan Trish. It can take a combination of a lot of different things to beat this. When you block yourself from that last site it will be great to have a list of things you want to do instead. We need to fill that free time up or we’ll only obsess about what we think we are missing out on. Which in reality is truly the misery. Just so you know, it can affect your moods when you stop. So be prepared. Don’t give in if you have negative feelings. Instead post or call a friend for a coffee. You can do this. You can have a life with real benefit. Closing that last account before payday sounds like a smart idea. Take care,
Laura