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I feel any time spent not gambling is a good time. I know that every week that goes by and I don’t gamble I have saved at least a 1000 dollars in dept that is saying a lot as the weeks build up. I may still have dept to pay but at least it won’t grow in leaps and bounds if I let the weeks add up. That makes it worth the effort for sure. I find that I still try to talk myself into going because of my on going “good behaviour” somehow trying to convince myself that I deserve the occasional evening at the casino. The problem is it will only lead me to believe I am in control and the truth is we can never be in control of something that controls us.FG
The first thing is your being honest about where your at and how you want the year ahead to turn out. We must work so hard that it can wear us down. And this is the place where you can find understanding and support so stick around and rely on your fellow cg’s to be there for you ok. Its hard to find support outside of this community and sometimes we place to many expectation on our loved ones, if they let us down we sometimes take that to be the reason to gamble . We can’t expect them to have this at the for front of their brains even though its on ours continually. I just feel it isn’t fair to place that burden on them. Finding help here and going to meetings are our best defence to break the hold gambling has on us. Happy birthday to your precious grandson too FG
Life is full of surprises and at this point in time there will be many I suspect. The one thing I noticed as I went through the change was that my hubby went through some of the best changes as well. Men take so long to mature and then once they realize that they too must change it takes them by storm. Its a tough time to go through but hang in there and hopefully you will come out with a better understanding of one another. This apology might be the first of many to come and he himself may come to be more sensitive to you and the changes your going through. You might find your emotions all over the place for awhile and your brain feels detached somehow. I used to call that period my out of body experiences. Weird really. Hot flashes do strange things to us physically. Hormones through us into crazy mood swings at times. We may fly off the handle for no clear reason and we may want to cry over nothing much at all. It can be confusing and it can lead to some bad behaviour. Try to stay in control as much as possible and if it all becomes too crazy use some natural HRT. I felt It affected my confidence for awhile but I’m back so to speak and feel good. So shall you in time. Keep away from gambling and you’ll find everything easier getting through this too Fg
truly inspirational Kin. I’ve heard him speak before. FG
Glad your back we most definitely need you with us . Your words are often powerful and meaningful. FG
Well RD done of us are ever 100% sure we will get beyond ever gambling again that is why we must remain diligent and keep focused at all times. We aren’t infalable and we have to slip to sometimes to see we need to continually work at recovery. It has to be apart of our new normal I guess. Lets face it it was our normal for a long time right?? FG
Well RD done of us are ever 100% sure we will get beyond ever gambling again that is why we must remain diligent and keep focused at all times. We aren’t infalable and we have to slip to sometimes to see we need to continually work at recovery. It has to be apart of our new normal I guess. Lets face it it was our normal for a long time right?? FG
I must admit I feel the same way Vera and get very disappointed when i can’t find a group. One of the biggest things that is the hardest for cg’s is rules and regulations. I’m surprised that isn’t being recognized really. Turning a cg away is like saying your not wanted here I feel. Its like abandonment. FG
we all want to believe we are better at controlling this addiction than we really are. Don’t be fooled this addiction is better at controlling us than we are at controlling it. Trust me and trust yourself . A few bets here and there will lead to bigger ones guaranteed. It took me a very long time to accept this even when I did believe it down deep. I just loved gambling so much that it was hard to accept I would have to get a divorce and never revisit this lover of mine.
Just this past Thursday heavy urges had set in and I had a internal dialog with myself for about 3 hours. I had gotten myself convinced to go. I could have called my hubby to come to my rescue but knew down deep this is where I must turn inward and call on my own strength . I finally had all the reasons why I shouldn’t go flood through me and began to change the conversation in my head. I then told myself I couldn’t go and that was that. I simply went home and felt powerful and at peace. I wasn’t going to tell my hubby about this episode but in the end I did tell him of what I had been through and how I fought through the urges and that i hope to continue to do so. You have the ability to do this too so try it and become stronger with every success you have ok my fellow cg. FGso where are you at these past few weeks ?? RD hope you are able to remain convicted to not gambling. Let us know how your doing ok FG
you seem to have the answers Mav, just believe it them enough to prevent serious consequences.
I think we cg’s need to be hard on ourselves to break the cycle or we will talk ourselves into disaster.
Those of us who live without this addiction truly can’t understand how to help us completely so it is on our shoulders to take it on and commit 100% to it. its called responsibility and accountability. That doesn’t mean we are immune from failure just that if we want to fix the problem it really is just up to us as individuals. If we rely on those arournd us and they fail us we can allow that to be reason to give up our recovery and gamble as an excuse I feel. Hope this is helpful FGHave you been before to Gordon Moody?
I have heard its a great place to learn recovery and hope it will be just what you need to finally succeed at becoming gamble free.
I myself have set a goal to remain gf for 2016 as well. Along with many of the cg’s here who participate in the forum.
Try to participate in some of the support groups here as well they can be very helpful as well.
I see you have had this addiction for a very long time and I am not sure what that means in regards to recovery. I myself have gambled for 15-16 years now and of course it has been a progression for me and I imagine for most of us.
I have given a great deal of money to this insanity and have really learnt to resent the casinos for this.
I have had times within these 15 years where I played very hard and years where I either stayed away completely or went very little. I didn’t believe or rather choose not to believe I had an addiction. This was part of my issue, it has only been within the past year that i realized I truly am more than just a problem gambler. i only went 3 time in a 6 month period but spent 35 hundred each of those times. I had in the past and for some time put all the barriers in place so was doing fairly well until one day I discovered a way to access money at the casino that I never had used before and was in real trouble. That is when I finally faced my reality and knew I could no longer take chances with my future with retirement not far in the distance. I came completely clean with my hubby and that was very humbling. I t was enlightening as well because I learnt that allowing myself to be that vunerable enabled me to realize that I can get help and all I had to do was ask for it. I also tried to teach him about this addiction enough so that he would understand that recovery comes with ups and downs and that I would never again make promises I could not keep. I would suggest as others have to bring those into your recovery that you can trust and work every angle possible to recover. Lock down every barrier possible so that you haven’t got any access to cash and that should be your first effort to even try to beat this addiction. We all know money just becomes a tool to enable us to do what we will with in a casino. on line bookies etc. ” NO MONEY NO HONEY” until we can control ourselves we need to implement all the controls possible. I hope this helps. I am not usually so long winded. FG