[female g]

well I already miss summer holidays. My hubby has returned to work teaching.
I wanted him to retire this year but couldn’t get him to agree because he feels fearful to stop doing what he loves. He is afraid he will be bored and end up sitting and doing nothing.
not even possible knowing this man but he is afraid of the unknown.
the last weekend of summer was amazing; 2 days spent with my daughters and grandkids at a waterpark. Saturday was a chill day. Sunday a cleaning day that resulted in a sparkling clean home. Yesterday was a swimming day shopping day and out to dinner with my hubby followed up with some one on one time lol.
Now its back to work and working on paying now more of the mortgage and debt. I just found out we are down to 100 thou left on the mortgage. We have paid off 45 thou over 15 months. That felt good to see. Going to stay focused on that for the next 15 months and see another 45 thou disappear.
Then decide on what to do then. That should give me time to pay my debt too. So now I have the goal in place I must focus and get things done. I hope I can do this. I will try my best.FG

[female g]

swimming on the hottest day of the year weird eh!! you’d think it wa the middle of July!!!
Going to shop with my daughter later and get school shoes for my granddaughter. Later relax with my hubby has he rolls up the last day before school.

[female g]

So kiddo you know what to do and how to do it. So I’m waiting to hear from you the success story ok. i struggle alot even though life has been good to me. I.m a happy person who justs loves to gamble. So Its the one thing I can’t allow myself to do. If it wasn’t so crazy expensive I wouldn’t even bother trying to stop. I just can’t allow my dept to rise or I will not ever be able to retire. So that is the problem I face. I stayed away over 2 months and went for a few hours. I only had a few hundred so I was unable to cause any real damage. I have no credit so I am glad about that or I would have spent a lot more. Back to square one again. One day at a time. We can do it FG

[female g]

ok yes I gambled. to most that is no big surprise right?? I needed to come clean about it at least here. I wasn’t able to cause much damage since I had just a few hundred dollars. I had the extra cash so I didn’t feel bad loosing that much. I am going to try not to go back but I feel bad that I gave in to the urge. I will not tell my hubby because it would just hurt him and make him angry and I don’t think I can handle that. I will carry on and try to do better.
I won’t dismiss the fact that I was doing well and can do better. I’m not chasing loses and haven’t any financial setbacks. Back to work Tuesday and I can put this behind me. i will not fail completely ever again. I just stepped backward for a few hours. Its time to walk forward and head for the right direction. Here I go again one day at a time FG

[female g]

Last night myself and about 20 others went to watch my daughter perform in the band “HighOctane” as the lead singer.
I couldn’t believe it, it was incredible and so exciting….
She sang at least 45 songs (rock and roll) and a few current songs too. Wow Wow Wow so much fun!!!!!

[female g]

thanks for the post and man I never seem able to chat these days. The only available time slot I see is Monday or friday afternoon and I haven’t been able to make the time sots. 🙁 I can’t believe how strong my urges were tonight. I kept trying to think of ways to get my hands on some money to go. I even considered asking my hubby for some money to go!!! yikes!!! That would have been insane but after a few hours the urge passed and I came to my senses and was glad there was no money to be had.
Instead I got myself a burger and went home. I’m having coffee now and talking about it instead.
Thank goodness I’m safe for now FG

[female g]

just wanted to let you know I’ve thought about you and hope your well xoxo FG

[female g]

such a great few days spent at a friends cottage. The best weather ever. I spent a great deal of time in the water.
Just an amazing weekend spent with adults. We drank my delicious Marguritas, sun bathed and talked alot, we played games,getting along great.
Not a moment spent on gambling urges.

[female g]

still on track but still having huge urges. yuck!!!
No money honey so no damage can be done.
Wish I could have a go.
I am ok though
FG

[female g]

so Rick we are here and we listen, give advice and try to stay away from gambling getting support when we need it.
It is a one day at a time to get through the urges we all deal with.
the best advice I can offer is for you to tell the truth to your dad and then have him monitor your funds. Set up payment plans to pay off depts.
I find it easier to deal with the urges when there is no access to cash.
Banning from casinos can help.
It sounds like there is a need to change alot in your life, since this has been a huge part of your life. Read about it and learn about addiction this will give you a better understanding of what your up against. Have your dad learn about this insane addiction too so he can help with your recovery.
Believe that you can change, but change takes commitment ,time and continual effort.
Forgive yourself and celebrate when you are gamble free.
you are on the biggest journey of your life and choices will be hard to make at times. We often get less concerned about what gambling as done to our lives as time goes by, be sure to not become complacient.FG

[female g]

not very busy tonight, but that is usual for summer anyway. So I thought i would get out early and decided to ask my hubby to watch a movie since we hadn’t had a chance to spend time together since he didn’t get in until almost 5 am tuesday. Well he wasn’t too keen on the idea. I said go and sleep and I’ll wake you up when I get in. As it turned out he really didn’t feel well so when I got in I had decided to forget trying to wake him up and just hang by myself. After an hour or so he got up and came down to join me. So very sweet !!!
We didn’t watch a movie, instead we just watched the housewives haha. We held hands and sat close together for an hour. Its all I needed. I am happy 🙂

[female g]

I remain continually shocked at how our little time it takes to forget the anxiety that sets in after a night of binge gambling.
wouldn’t it be beneficial if every time an urge creeps in we could experience that anxiety and that would be enough to keep us away.
It seems that once I get back on track and my life feels normal I want to go again. You’d think Id be happy that things are good and that I could realize that the results I am achieving would be enough,but it dosen’t feel that way.
The only thing that keeps me out of the casino today is the fact that I have no access to cash. The resuts from that are good for now and my hubby won’t be upset.
I hope I never have to feel like that woman Vera It would be horrible but this addicton has a power that can’t be explained easily because it varies so much in each and everyone off us .
I can be satisfied that no damage was done this week at least. It was tough being alone xoxo FG

[female g]

. I had a nice evening with my daughters inlaws It was nice to visit and I enjoyed steak and some great wine too.
I made some
headway on reorginization. Kitchen done now its my
drawers to sort through. I like to put the tv on and go through things nice and slowly. When hubby is here I never get those things done so its working out just fine.

thanks P for dropping in xoxoFG

[female g]

fist of 5 days off and it was good. Slept 12 hrs. Then shopped abit and then met up with my daughter and family for dinner and a movie.
I’m home now and I’m going to do some organizing my drawers and watch tv while i have the place to myself.
Maybe a late swim after. see ya FG

[female g]

it took awhile but summer is really here now in all its glory.
just got in from a swim. Its still over 20 c out there. These are perfect summer nights Great for walking in the evenings. Another week and all remains well. It is getting easier but the urges are still in my head.
This weekI am all alone becauce my hubby is going to Florida to help my son with his kids. At first I hear

d he was planning on leaving them in their hotel room while he attended meetings for work. I wasn’t having it so I told him Bill would have to go if his wife isn’t going. So they are off to Florida on a 8 am flight and don’t get home till Mon night after 1 am. 🙁
Oh well I will be working anyway and my daughter is planning a sleep over Friday night. That should be fun.
I will rest easier knowing the children are properly taken care of. Wekk its late and i must get my sleep xoxoFG.

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