[Emma8]

You’ve found this site and written this journal because you want to make a change and make improvements. That is a great beginning!

I’m no expert, I’ve only been gambling free for six days. What I can say though is that you have to take it day by day. I imagine the first step is to find somewhere to live and hopefully a job too. Will that be possible?

I know exactly what you mean when you say there’s not a problem when playing, only when you look up from the screen and all your money is gone. I felt exactly the same. (I’m trying to speak in past tense because I refuse to gamble any more and cause myself any more pain.) I’d be oblivious to the problems I was causing while playing and then feel unbelievably broken when I stopped to see £0 in my account.

Have you self excluded and put blocks up anywhere possible?

Once you’ve done this try and find the excitement in recovery instead of gambling. After a few days of no gambling my bank account is no longer just a list of deposits I’ve made to a casino. It’s a small step but it feels incredible.

[Emma8]

Thank you so much for your comment!

As much as I’d rather none of us were in this situation, it’s really nice to know a couple of us are at a very similar stage. Having this support is really helping me, and we don’t even know each other!

Looking forward to checking in again tomorrow and following along with everyone elses stories too. It’s becoming a really nice habit to log in daily and acknowledge my progress 🙂

[Emma8]

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve received texts and emails from gambling sites in the last week alone. And they’re ALL sites I’ve self-excluded from. It’s mad!!

Thankfully an unsubscribe button is normally there and I can get rid of it as soon as it arrives but it’s frustrating all the same.

Hopefully they’ll soon stop. I don’t feel as tempted as I used to but it certainly isn’t helping!

[Emma8]

Thank you so much for your comment.

I’m definitely finding this journal a huge help and knowing that there are others at a similar stage to myself is really encouraging. We’ll be able to celebrate here together at the 6 months mark!!

That moment will be such a relief. As I mentioned above I’m already seeing a difference in my bank account. It’s very small right now, but it’s still progress and that’s what matters 🙂

[Emma8]

Hi Pie, I’m in the very early stages too so it’s good to hear someone else’s perspective.

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had a decent withdrawal pending and cancelled it “just in case I could win more”. It’s awful isn’t it?

Wishing you all the best in making this brilliant change. We don’t need gambling and we’ll be far happier without it!

Looking forward to following along with your progress 🙂

[Emma8]

I love that note to yourself. It will be ok and it will be worth it.

Imagine reaching the end of the month, it’s the day before pay day and you STILL have money in your account. Wouldn’t that feel amazing, even if it’s only a small amount?

I’m really excited to see my bank with money in it instead of £0 which I’ve seen for so long. 

[Emma8]

I’m on day number six and I have just had an enquiry about some more work. That’ll keep me busy for the next day or two AND contribute to my bills.

One small win I have is that when I check my bank account now the short summary of transactions is no longer a list of £20 deposits. That always made me so sad to see. It is still there when I click on view more on my statement. Very excited for the day when I can check it and only see “normal” transactions and now gambling damage!

[Emma8]

Hi Jezi!

I’m new to the forum and have just a read through your journal. It’s so good to hear you’ve now been able to go 4 weeks without gambling! I’m only on day 5 at the moment so that seems like a huge deal to me! Well done 🙂

Looking forward to following you as you hit more milestones!

[Emma8]

Getting very close to one full week of no gambling now and feeling very good about it. Keeping this journal is definitely helping. I think I might begin to track the things that I’m grateful for each day and the positives that are coming out of staying away from gambling. That will definitely help my motivation on tougher days in the future!

[Emma8]

There’s no excitement in the really slow process of paying off debt and being able to cover bills, but it is so much better for you. Stay strong.

Something that might help. Could you have a clear out and sell some unwanted items on ebay? The excitement each time someone buys something might help to heal you from the need to see the slots rolling over and the extra money would of course be great too!

I did this a couple of months ago and it felt great, but I’m sure I have more clothes and things that I don’t need.

[Emma8]

I’m now on my fourth day and I’m feeling happy. I’m currently sat doing some work and later I’ll be spending time with family. The work means I’ll be able to send out an invoice on Friday, making me a tiny bit more comfortable financially. It will either go straight towards bills or a loan payments, but they’ll get paid and that’s what matters.

It hurts me to know how much damage I’ve done to myself and how much debt I’ve built up. It’s going to take me a long time to recover now. That’s when I used to think, I’ll gamble and see if I can win back some of my losses. I can rationalise now and know that gambling will only make things worse. Instead I need to accept that progress will be slow but as long as the debt total continues to go down instead of up, that means I’m doing well.

[Emma8]

I’m so glad you’ve made it through your third day as well!

I know you have so much more going on in life, but as Steev said just take things one day at a time. Noone can resolve all of their problems overnight, but I imagine they will get a tiny bit better each day.

Looking forward to celebrating another gambling free day with you tomorrow!

[Emma8]

Now on day three of no gambling. After a busy day I’ve now got a quiet evening. Turned my laptop on and I did feel myself starting to reach for the new tab to open a site but I came on here instead. This forum is already helping me a lot, clearly!

Already excited to be celebrating one week completed come Saturday. It will be such a big milestone for me 🙂

[Emma8]

I must be, I did only look quickly the other day.

Thanks again!

[Emma8]

That’s great news, I’ll get it set up today then. Thank you 🙂

[Author]

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